I have a friend that somehow managed to insult my fiancee. I want them to make up, but she is determined not to. How do I convince her that he is on my invitation list, and that's the last about it?
2007-01-01 01:29:08 · 23 answers · asked by kruiskryger 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You can't. If you are going to marry this woman, you need to put her before your friend. If you are not ready to do this, you should not be getting married yet.
2007-01-01 01:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This happens in nearly EVERY marriage in one way or another. It your fiance's way of testing who you will choose. Your friends or her. You friend is probably afraid you are whipped and let her know it. He's not used to women getting between you two.
Find out what the insult is first.
If it really was, and intentional, make him apologize. If was something little and she is over reacting, get him to apologize that he is sorry, she feels that way and he didn't intend it. If she doesn't accept this, then she is a control freak and wants to separate you and your friends so she can "fix" you the way she wants you.
It is very common for women to say, "he's the greatest guy when his friends aren't around, then when they are around he acts like an idiot!"
She must accept you for who you are and that you have friends. If you can't resolve this now, then get ready for the ring...in your nose.
On the other hand, he might be a little jealous. Find out what he said and let us know.
2007-01-01 01:54:41 · answer #2 · answered by Computer Dr. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the situation. Did he truly mean to insult her or was it done by accident? Has he apologized to her? If he apologizes and is sincere about it then she should forgive him.
I would tell her that marriage is about compromises and understanding. You understand that he hurt her and you asked him to make it right and now you must move forward. Starting off the marriage on a bad note isn't the best idea. Tell her you only plan on having one wedding and so this is the only chance he has of coming.
You can also decide that each of you gets so many invites that aren't negotiable.
Good Luck! SD
2007-01-01 01:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by SD 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is going to matter how bad the insult was. If it was real bad, then sorry, youre going to have to go with our fianceee on this one, no matter what. If it was something stupid, light or silly, then maybe youre right, but being a woman, I know I dont let stuff go easily, so youre either going to have to get your friend to apologize, and if he really is worth coming to your wedding, then he should be able to apologize to your upcoming bride. If he wont or cant, then is he honestly worth the anguish? Friends are supposed to make your life better and easier, not harder, especially not on the biggest day of your life. See what he will do, and then decide how much is presence is worth if he wont apologize. This is your wife, life parnter, mother of your kids, the one who will take care of you when youre sick and old. How much does she matter to you?? Good Luck, youll need it!
2007-01-01 01:41:48 · answer #4 · answered by amym1031 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what he did to insult here. If it was something small, then tell her how much it means to you to have him there. But if he did something really hurtful then you should stick by her. You guys are a team, you know? She has to know that you will always have her back. Women are sensitive so although you might not think it was a big deal, it could have really affected her. Hope it all works out and congratulations!
2007-01-01 01:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by TN 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sorry, you need to cross off your friend. Your fiancee is soon to be your wife, the mother of your children, and your lifelong companion. If she doesn't want him at the wedding, then you should respect that.
Maybe, if that person sincerely said sorry, your fiancee would consider letting them attend the wedding. Still if she doesn't want them there then the answer is no.
2007-01-01 01:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by krzylove 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't. It's her day too, and if he is offensive to her, they're either going to have to work it out, or you're going to have to chose between them. If she's your fiancee, she still has an out. If this is what you want your wedding canceled over, go ahead and tell her that he's on your list and that's that.
2007-01-01 02:27:27 · answer #7 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who's side are you on? If this guy hurt the woman you love and is unwilling to make the first move to fix it, then you should drop it. This is NOT the time to start taking sides against your fiance and definitly not the right time to make her hang out with people she doesn't get along with.
2007-01-01 04:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is all about negotiation and giving and getting both ways. The issue cries out for amicable resolution and that's your job--to find a settlement (telling her he's on the list and is going to stay there isn't settling it). "He's been my friend for longer than I've known you and is VERY important to me, What can I do and what can HE do to earn your forgiveness?" might be a way to start. Good luck--this might be the proverbial deal-breaker.
2007-01-01 01:36:47 · answer #9 · answered by DelK 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her, why this person is your friend. Elaborate on why you and this person are friends and how important it is to you. I mean, yes, she may be your fiancee, but I'm willing to bet that you were friends with this person, longer than you have been engaged to her. If she can't understand that your life long friends are just as important to you, then she doesn't understand you.
Neurotically Yours,
NightSpawn
2007-01-01 01:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by the_nightspawn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to convince them of anything? What happened is between them. People who sulk and act childish are trying to use emotional blackmail to get their own way because they have no logic to back up their position.
DO NOT put yourself between them. That would be a huge mistake as then you will be put into the position of chosing. BIG MISTAKE. Refuse to hear either one's position. Tell them it's between them when one or the other starts and then walk away.
2007-01-01 01:40:34 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋