well im finally leaving my husband after two years. the past year is when it went all down hill. he started doing crank and we lost everything and had to move in with my mom. He would ditch me for crank, he blacked my eye. well i left him and got back with him. found out i was pregnant and he stressed me out so bad i miscarried. he stopped doing the crank for awhile and started it back up so i left him again. this time it was over. he stole my car and busted my lip. I got a protective order and filed for a divorce. Well my luck I found out i was pregnant again. well i took him back again because of the situation. everything was fine for a couple of months, then he started going to the bars and not coming home until the 2-3. he wrecked my car. well he went to court for the last time he hit me. he got put on probation and couldnt come home tell it was dropped. well i got it dropped and he was supposed to come home, i find out that he did crank all weekend and a women was with him
2007-01-01 01:16:28 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Well he kept tellin me he loved me, he missed me and couldnt wait to go home. I got him an awesome x-mas present. the only time he would see me was to get sex and got money from me.
he was the one who wanted me to get pregnant and of course i did it for him. Ive always done everything for him.
I just want to know what i can do to make myself feel good. I feel so stupid for believing him, i feel like a fool. Im scared of having this baby alone. Any advice. please.
i cant stand crying and feeling sorry for myself when i need to start preparing for my baby boy.
2007-01-01 01:20:42 · update #1
Wow lady...You need someone to see how beautiful you are. Look at yourself and see that you are beautiful. My ex-husband was the same way. Diffrent drugs, but same story. I went through 3 miscarrages because of him. If you can't leave him for yourself leave him for your baby. Do you honestly want your baby to suffer the way you did? Because it only gets worse. Not only will he hit you but you will watch him hit your child.
Having said that... feeling like you failed in your relationship can burn. Sometimes I still feel like I was a bad wife...I didn't give him enough chances...but you have to remind yourself that he wont change and chances run out. I almost went back to my ex husband because he said that he loved me, he missed me.....he wanted me home.
I made a mental list of times that he left me empty handed....going out to parties, doing drugs, coming home at 6 a.m. and while he was talking I kept playing them over and over in my mind. You have to remind yourself of the things you dont deserve and the things you do. Could he come back some day? Maybe but you need to see results first, not promises that can be broken. Make a list of 'demands' and a timeline for him to accomplish them. Be presice and picky. Don't leave one pet peave out. I even went as far as to say that my ex had to stop smoking for 3 months before I would concider dating him again....even let him know what they are, and DON"T BACK DOWN!. I garantee that he doesn't love you enough to do them. You are a priceless work of art.
Don't let him drag you down. Build yourself up...go to a couple of college classes...nothing to crazy but learn about something you enjoy. Take a self defence class...maybe you will never need it but it does help you to feel empowered! Give your phone number out. Pregnant or not do it because you can...it gives you a silly rush a feeling that you are living on the edge. Be silly. Find a friend that knows how to make you laugh. Go to a battered womens group and listen to everyone talk about how they had it worse...then remind yourself that you are smart enough to get out while you still can. You are never traped. The most important thing to do is to get out! Away from him and having fun without him. Reminding yourself that you are a beautiful independent women. Try not to feel bad about the love you lost...think about the love you can find....someone perfect for you. Make a list for your dream man....what is he like? Is he smart? Would he be amazed by you? How do you want him to look at you? Sometimes we are off on the physical so dont write too many of those....write about his personality. He is out there and he will love you in a way that you could never imagine....better then a craked up partier that never wants to be home unless he can't find someone else to get laid by. You are worth so much more then that! I am jella_joe IM me sometime
2007-01-01 02:31:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away (really). Do you have any relatives out of state you could live with? You need to put a huge amount of distance between yourself and this man. Surround yourself with friends, family and join a support group... or join a bunch of support groups. Sounds like you could benifit from
alanon (family members of alcoholics and drug addicts)
parents without partners
abuse survivors
etc.
It might be best to stop speaking with mutual friends you have together, assign a trusted family member to be the go-between regarding news and status of the pregnancy. Find a birth partner you can rely on and start taking parenting classes.
2007-01-01 01:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek some kind of help - maybe from a pregency care center or something that has counseling and will also help you focus on your new bundle of joy that you have coming. YOu need to put the order of protection back into effect and start the paper work for the divorce. He is not going to change and it is not fair to yourself or your baby to stay in that situation. Good luck!!!
2007-01-01 04:40:17 · answer #3 · answered by pierronmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get that jerk out of your life. You've already had an order of protection, so get another if necessary. Stop going back to a violent, abusive situation. You know it puts your baby at risk, and your responsibility is to take care of yourself and your baby now.
I also encourage you to seek counseling because you need to have a more positive self-image that will give you confidence. Your baby needs you to be your best. You need you to be your best.
2007-01-01 01:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw this is perfectly normal. I'm still at this stage. If you ever wanna talk talk to me via twitter. Follow soph95jade. Ever need to just gush out random words im good at it. Don't let it get the best of you is all i can say.
2016-03-14 00:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and meet people, go to church, the movies, you will forget about him once you totally get rid of him also, which means throw out his stuff that you have, lose his number.
He would be a horrible father, so seperate yourself very quickly, for your own sake and the baby's sake.
2007-01-01 01:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by rjinaz81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words, get away from him and fast. For your sake and the sake of your child, put a lot of distance between him and you and start over. It can be done and you will be so much happier.
2007-01-01 01:26:22 · answer #7 · answered by hrh_gracee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't do this anymore to yourself! My mother chose to stay with my abusive father and she watched time and time again my dad hitting us. Leave him for your baby's sake!
2007-01-01 04:32:46 · answer #8 · answered by jasmine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you got to get a grib o nyour own life -
when you start BELIVING that you deserve better you'll get it.
but it all starts with you -
2007-01-01 01:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋