I have three kids (21 and twins of 15) and they and my partner are all dreamy types who love floating about the house reading, they leave stuff everywhere, cups and plates where they were sitting, clothes where they took them off, books, papers, homework, possessions. They all rush off all the time and leave jobs half done, I wonder if they suffer from ADHD. They do minimal bits of housework usually when I get to shouting at them - they say they mean to help but they only help if I remind them all the time. I suffer from stress and I'm just about to start a new job and I've said if they don't help more, then I am leaving. But I don't suppose they will change and I just get more and more miserable. Any ideas?
2007-01-01 00:17:29 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh I had this with mine, I have 3 kids too all around the same age, mine a bit older.
This is what I did as I felt like I was hitting my head of a brick wall and talking to myself.
I stoped working for them.
I stoped doing the washing, only did mine- they went out with dirty clothes.
i stoped cleaning up, only cleaning things I used- they lived in filth.
I stoped cooking, only cooking for me- they went hungry.
I didnt say I was going to do this to them, but after a few days they began to take notice of me and what I was doing.
Then the shouting at me began, the
"your so unfair"
and
"I cant go to school in this its dirty".
I let it all go over my head, didnt listen to them at all, just like they treated me.
I am there mother, not there cleaner/housekeeper.
After a while they started to clean, cook and learn about the washing machiene. They did it. Had too because I wouldn't.
There comes a time when you need to let go and you can't be responsible for every body's mess.
You bought them up to pick up there toys when they were little. To wipe there own bottoms. To walk on there own. Now its time to remind them what you have been trying to teach them for the past X amount of years.
They do remember how to do these things. And dont worry. Its hard at first but your sanity becomes before dust and washing. So start to enjoy there discomfort, it is funny to watch at times.
Not hard just being a mother trying to make indiependent people out of her children.
Good luck and enjoy. Your time is now.
Happy new year and here's to strong Mums everywhere.
2007-01-01 01:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the exact same position , i hate living with my lazy lot , i have 4 kids 16,13,10 and 4 and my husband , they are animals ! I get stressed every day due to shouting like a banshee to get some order in the house ..I often wish for a magic wand . I`ll keep an eye on this Q and see what the others suggest ..
2007-01-01 00:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true that there are more important issues in the world- but not many are so frustrating. I noticed that someone suggested that you should go on holiday and leave them for 2 -3 weeks , this seems like a very good idea - make sure you come back a changed woman ( one who won't pick up other people's junk anymore!!)
My Aunt has the 'big black bag' solution!! It's simply this; give them 3 clear and concise warnings that they need to pick up their junk, tell them if you have to do it then it goes in the bag and into the bin. THEN DO IT!
They will learn to pick their stuff up.
If they complain that you don't respect them - tell them to start respecting you.
Best of luck.
2007-01-01 00:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 factors to each tale so i'm no longer able to bypass judgement considering the fact that I even have not heard her part. i will in basic terms say that while you're working sixty 3 hours each and every week, you're actually not contributing as a father or a husband and can't probable be doing all this so referred to as cleansing and toddler rearing. minimize down on the artwork hours and initiate being a factor of the family participants quite than a paycheck that complains. in case you're able to desire to artwork sixty 3 hours a week with a view to 'furnish', you're able to desire to get your priorities promptly and be sure what you particularly want OR quit having toddlers you won't be able to pay for with out being absent for all time.
2016-11-25 19:56:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 21 and 15 (and I presume your partner is adult) its a little late to begin organizational training, but the suggestions about bagging are good. I wouldn't bag, tho. I'd take about 2 wks to return clutter and mess to the areas that belong to the offenders. Piles of dirty dishes and clothes on beds make a good statement. Also, NO helping out-the goal is to unload the load. Do your thing, not theirs. Remember its not just your convenience, its their basic need to be good citizens in whatever environment they inhabit.
2007-01-01 02:10:08 · answer #5 · answered by teetzijo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your kids to pull their socks up and help out, it's not fair you doing all the house work AND holding down a job at the same time, im not surprised you are stressed! you have to be firm with them, try not to shout, round them all up sit them down and explain you can't manage everything on your own and get through to them they have to help you out more! happy new year have a good one and good luck! xx
2007-01-01 00:27:36 · answer #6 · answered by red devil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the new rules applies today. Either they pick their things up or else you will. And if you do, they can pick their things out of the trash can if they want it so bad. Then do it, they'll know you're not playing around about this. Tell them you are running a household, not a pig sty.
2007-01-01 00:35:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps its time to cut your losses and get your self a little oasis. Leave the house its not going to change, but keep your own little area clean and quiet like you like it. How about a garden shed.
Kettle, toaster, stash of drink and an arm chair..............Sounds good. Can i come and join you?
I reckon you've got 2hrs to get down B&Q!!
2007-01-01 00:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like typical males to me. Don't get so frustrated over such small matters. YES, it is small, compared to some things out there. Make them do more, by not doing it yourself. Cut privileges, and don't cook anymore. When they're hungry, they'll do just about anything!
2007-01-01 00:26:16 · answer #9 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why change them jaust accept them the way they are look for the good in them learn to relax and enjoy your new job noone ever died from an untidy house.
2007-01-01 00:22:25 · answer #10 · answered by dottydog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋