i bumped into my ex a couple of days ago in town and i thought i would be ok after seeing him but all the rage of what he did to me came flooding back. is this ok or should it have gone by now?
im single and cant seem to trust people because of him.
please help!
2006-12-31 23:36:28 · 37 answers · asked by crystal clear 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanx noodle i did write my feelings down and it worked, yeah im not fully over him but i will keep smilinglike jason said. thankyou for all your advice. xx
2007-01-01 21:15:46 · update #1
let it go!
2006-12-31 23:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can totaly relate, I split up with my violent ex just over 3 years ago and felt such anger. Sometimes I still feel it and when I see him I start to seethe! I feel that I was cheated out of getting alot of the bad stuff he did to me off my chest and this is what makes me angry sometimes, the fact he thinks he got away with it. What has helped me is to close my eyes and visualise him then say exactly what I need to say. You can also release tention in a violent way, I have found this helpful at times, and you aren't going to get arrested - unless you take it too far and actually go after him. It is all about re programming your mind to not react to him in such a way. I never thought I would be able to trust men again but I am with a wonderful man and we are expecting our first child. Just remember that you deserve love and happiness, don't go looking for love yet just focus on you. Meditation is also great as it strengthens you mentally and brings such calm and peace.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-01 00:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by Serenity 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is normal. When someone hurts you, there is going to be anger. With time, that feeling will pass and you will be able to move on.
Relationships are difficult but if you try to look at each one as a learning experience for yourself, it sometimes helps.
I was with a man who cheated, lied and truly disrespected our relationship. It did take time to get over that situation and I spent way too much time writing very heartfelt angry letters to him (ok I didn't mail a single one). It did feel good to get it all out on paper and be able to express my feelings.
It'll take some time but I can almost guarantee you that some day, someone who is wonderful will come into your life. You will learn to trust and love again. It just takes time for your heart to heal.
2007-01-08 13:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by jan k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people hurt us so much that the feelings just won't go away.
Try to remember that you are better off without someone in your life that doesn't have your best interests at heart. Life is too short to waste it on such people.
Also don't forget that not everyone will be like him
Good luck hon x
2007-01-08 23:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by lucyt20 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my word, I feel for you I really do. I have always had very strong emotions and over time I have learnt to control them but it is not easy. Hate is such a destructive feeling and you really need to go beyond it or you will never get over this loser. Try and imagine him as dead to you and of no consequence. Once he means absolutely nothing to you then you will move on and find a top bloke - there are a few of us out there ;-)
Good luck!
2007-01-08 03:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by 31Alpha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey you need to control yourself...if you see him, then just take a deep breath, throw your head back and walk past without looking at him, you'll thank yourself for it...when someone hurts you, you have a whole bunch of emotions going on, anger is one of them, once you conquer the anger then your up and running to a happier life....also don't mistrust others because of what one person did to you, not everyone is like him, and yep...you'll meet someone else in time, you will be able to trust again, keep the faith hun and try and forget him, he's is an ex now....2007 is a good time to make some changes in your life...why not start today...be happy sweetie, life's too short
2006-12-31 23:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that unless you forgive a person, your anomosity towards them will never cease. Its like reopening a wound you thought was intact. I wanna say if you had sex with this person that you and him have what we call as christians, soul ties. Soul ties are bonding of the souls when two people are joined together sexually. Then if the couple seperate, it may hinder any future relationships and keep you from properly bonding with your spouse. It could be this and until it is broken, you can never be free. I hope this helped.
http://www.breakingfree.us/ungodly_soul_ties.html
2006-12-31 23:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by hardworkur84 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate is the flipside of love, so you still have feelings for him, when you feel indifferent you will be over him, maybe you left things unsaid, maybe you want revenge, which still means you have feelings for him, spend some time alone and think it through, this will help you to let it go, every person in our lives teaches us something useful, even if it dosnt feel like it at the time, you have to find the positive things you have learned about life and yourself through this man.
Has he made you a stronger person? did you learn how to take difficult decisions because of him? there must be something..
good luck hun.
2007-01-01 09:50:15 · answer #8 · answered by magpyre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, that's a normal way to feel if you've been hurt badly.
don't let it interfere with future relationships though. you've probably learnt alot from the experience, but just attach it to him, not every guy you meet.
try writing down all your feelings about him and the situation, as if it is a letter to him (but just rip it up when you've finished). get it all out. i'm guessing you're holding alot in and that's why it's resurfaced again after seeing him. writing down your feelings may help you to understand alot more about why you're feeling so keenly hurt.
now, go do something good for your self to treat yourself and remind you that you are worth spoiling.
good luck.
2006-12-31 23:42:44 · answer #9 · answered by noodle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have issues and that's not intended as an insult. Most all people have issues and most of us don't know it or even want to know it. Truth is if you are open to understanding yourself your life gets better and better. Anger is just a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from getting hurt. We learn these defense behaviors from our experiences. Think of it in terms of what you learned from this jerk, in that sense it's quite a gift that he gave you and think about how pathetic he is; I bet he is unhappy even if he acts like he is not... talk about issues. Now instead of feeling anger toward this guy you may start to feel pity for his pathetic life. This is an example of how we can choose our feelings. It's not easy but it can be done. Anger wil only hurt yourself, I suggest you think about this. Good luck.
2006-12-31 23:50:20 · answer #10 · answered by Bullwinkle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that some times you can never truly be over someone. i have been split up with my ex now for two years and the thought of seeing him scares me witless!! Some feeling can never go away thats just how it is but you can learn to cope with them Good luck
2007-01-08 22:00:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋