He has never shown this behaviour before & i haven't experienced it with the other children. There is no stress at home or any that we can think of. Anybody else had the same. Is it normal to start having tantrums at 3 1/2???? I feel like we must be doing something wrong.
2006-12-31 22:16:41 · 13 answers · asked by Mishell 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
by the looks of it, he is the baby of the family. So, he is probably looking for attention. He use to have it when he was smaller but now that he is a little older and you are splitting yourself between the rest of the family he isn't use to that. My suggestion is to let him throw the tantrums and ignore him when he does. ( unless he is causing bodily harm to himself). When he finds that your not interested with this sort of behavior then he will quit. He is just trying to be your number one again. That is all. So, be patient and he'll learn that he isn't the only one that mommy has to take care of. Or talk to him in his term of understanding that he isn't the only one mommy has to care for. You'd be surprised on how well children understand at that age. So, your not doing anything wrong, its just the child wanting attention.
2006-12-31 22:29:38 · answer #1 · answered by Deb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you are lucky! 3 1/2 years gone by without tantrums is wonderful. Everyone I know (including my own 2 children) would have tantrums from age of around 1 1/2 or so, when they can walk, talk, snatch, sulk etc. Your son sounds absolutely normal, maybe even better. Anyway, tantrums are a normal part of their learning. I find that when they're having a tantrum distracting them is the best way to stop them. Their attention spans are so short they'll usually forget what they were upset about within seconds :)
2007-01-03 20:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by skiv_77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My two year old has just started throwing tantrums. I have found the best and most simple way to deal with it is to NEVER give them what they are throwing a fit for. Sometimes I will walk away from him or sometimes I will tell him to scream louder, but I never laugh at him...I don't want to confuse the fact that this behavior is not acceptable. Laughing, to my son, is a positive reinforcement. If I know why he is upset, I will tell him....for example..."Mom knows you are mad because you wanted the cookie." Sometimes...the realization that I am aware of his emotions makes a difference. I guess it is different with all children. My child doesn't talk that great yet. So I think...his tantrums are his way of expressing himself. That doesn't mean you have to like it or that you should allow it. Good luck with your fellow tantrum thrower. They will grow out of it eventually.
2007-01-01 03:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Behaviour is learned & can be unlearned.
Crying is a form of communication that all babies are born with. This form of communication has one of four purposes. 1 babies hungry 2 babies wet / uncomfortable 3 baby wants attention 4 baby is sick
As a child develops so does its uses for the above forms of communication. That is, a 3 1/2 yo child has learned, by crying, 1 it gains attention from its mother and 2 it gains an item of its choice. This behaviour is reinforced by parents when they give the chld what they want. This type of reinforcement encourages the crying to develop into tantrums when the child does NOT get what they want.
The tantrum is an attention seeking behaviour and will NOT occur when there is NO audience i.e. when your child has a tantrum, redirect them to their room (no audience) and the tantrum will stop.
By allowing this behaviour to continue can encourage the next stage of development: taking what they want / stealing: hitting out at the parents.
2006-12-31 22:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by Truth D 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is he being frustrated by something? A new toy just a little too advanced for him? A change in his schedule? A new school? A new brother or sister? If none of these then just walk away when he throws his tantrums and give him no feedback at all. This is hard but it works and pretty quickly too. He throws the tantrums because they work and get your attention and get him what he wants. If you give no feedback it no longer works so....
2007-01-01 06:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a child who will be 4 at the end of this month who had tantrums for no reasons at 3 1/2. Same story as you- no problems with siblings and nothing out of the ordinary going on at home. My daughter really got out of hand in kicking and crying when she couldn't get her way. It was frustrating because I didn't want to smack her. Instead, I warned her to get up on the count of 3 or she wouldn't be allowed to watch any movies that day. She loves to watch The Wiggles, and a couple of times I had to restrict her privileges. It takes time but it did work. Just restrict your child from his most enjoyable activity if he won't stop when you count 1.........2...........3. It really works in extinguishing negative behavior. Good luck.
2007-01-01 00:21:36 · answer #6 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes this can be normal. The only thing you can do wrong is to give in to the tantrum.
Whatever you do - never give in. Dont give them what they want when they are having a tantrum, it teaches them to have a tantrum to get what they want.
(Note to myself - use my own advice on my five year old when she winges and cries!!!!)
Ha ha good luck. Tantrums are really horrible, hopefully it will just be a quick phase that will go away as quick as it started!
2006-12-31 22:32:24 · answer #7 · answered by Nic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tantrums are born out of frustration and his are right on time. He wants to do things that he isnt able to do, yet, but he wants to do them anyway and gets frustrated when he can't. The way to handle tantrums is to prevent them before they happen, once he is in a state of rage he will not be able to reverse himself.
Learn what triggers his tantrums, is he tired? hungry? has he had a lot of stimulation? (like being with other people or going out on a shopping trip) If you can figure out what happens right before a tantrum, you can usually abort them. Try some protein snacks (cheese or meat or nuts) or a bath, or a walk outdoors, or a lie down with you reading a story... something to relax him and prevent him from getting into a state of rage.
It will take time but he is worth it and welcome to parenthood.
2006-12-31 22:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He didn't do it whilst going through the terribles two's? I find the best answer is to laugh at them, laugh obnoxiously loud and if they turn the tantrum up, turn up your laughter to match. I've reared 4 kids and currently have 8 grandkids here and it's worked every time on all of them. But if it doesn't, could be the sign of an underlying mental disorder, which you should get checked out by a competent doctor.
2006-12-31 22:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE THE TANTRUMS it is a normal stage and an attempt to get there way. They will brake your heart but be strong if you give in they win
2006-12-31 22:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by norsmen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋