Why are people so helpless, more often than not, to help their Loved Ones, as they lay Dying?!?

Answer 1

Shock would be a big part in families members not helping, or they could be unsure what to do or how to do it with out hurting their loved one. Also it could simply be they are not aware of the seriousness of the situation.

Hence the importance of doing a 1st Aid course, and keeping your CPR up to date.

Answer 2

Generally it is because they are caught up in their own emotions and needs.
Their loss, their pain, the hurts they never healed, the words they never said.

Last thing to go is hearing, tell them what you need to.

If you can be there for them, be there for them. No one wants to die alone and it is a beautiful thing to watch someone at peace die.

If you beleive in God pray for them, but also for those around them, including you. Paying gives a healthy vent and yes it's okay to tell God exactly what you think about it and him. Praying also gives hope you can do something.

The best thing you can do for a loved one laying dying is to hold their hand, be there.

By the way, It's normal to feel releif when it's over and they're dead, so don't get guilty.
Danger time for you is after the funeral when everyone that came out of the woodwork leaves.

Look after yourself, because no matter how hard their dying, they want to see you live. And yes it's harder to be the one that lives. But after all the tears you will live. If you can't see your way to live for you, live for them

God be with you

Answer 3

Because we cannot know what they are feeling as none of us has gone through it before. Some us feel uncomfortable being around them because we do not know what to say or do to comfort them. The dying are often lonely because of this. My advice is for you to acknowledge your feelings (which you already have to us) to your loved one, be honest with them about your own fears and ask them what they need from you physically and emotionally. It is not a secret to them that they are dying, but they can also be afraid because they do not know what to expect any more than you do. Bring your feelings out in the open and cherish every second that you have left with them. It is easier to let go when you know you were there for them.

Answer 4

Unless you have experience with dying people, its not easy to know what to do. It is not something that you will necessarily instinctively know. The fact that it is also someone close to you can make it seem a lot worse. Your emotions will be all over the place, which can stop you from thinking properly and efficiently.

Answer 5

Not everybody can jump in, especially when its messy - and believe me, when somebody dies - slowly or painfully - it can get very messy.

There is the emotional baggage to overcome, and some folks simply want to avoid remembering the person they love in the way that they see them at the very last moment of life. I was introduced to death at age 12 exactly, in fact my childhood ended on my 12 birthday.

I now have no problem with death, so I have helped the few remaining relatives I have to go peacefully, where a few of my cousins have been slow to react. We are all different - what makes us interesting.

Answer 6

Most people don't have any experience of people dying and it's a difficult time for them being someone close and dear to them, nurses and carers could play an important role having the experience, most times it just means sitting with them quietly holding their hand to comfort them, there is no blame attached to one's inexperience.

Answer 7

I think we get caught up in our own fears and questions. We forget that "help" can be defined as just being there for someone. We want to fix them but we are powerless to do so sometimes and we, like the dying, must accept our limitations, but we can share our love.

Answer 8

I work in health care. I have seen it many times. I feel that some people are afraid and are just not sure what to do. I feel the best thing to do is to make them comfortable and being there with them so they are not alone is comfort to them.

Answer 9

i hope this is genuine. i am a nurse then my mum died when i was 23 of cancer. it took six months. my dad expected me to act professionally! wot a joke it was my mum. the mcmillan nurses got me to help her write a letter to my dad and sister. But no one did it for me. i am the only one without a letter.you cant seperate the love from the responsibility. your loved one is too hard to watch die, although you do it. I did do it, but i have feelings about it and i am sure my dad does. do your best because you wont have any regrets x

Answer 10

It is something you know nothing about so it hard to comfort anyone who is dying when you have no true knowledge of what happens. Just being with them may comfort them so try to believe that.