i've been seeing a guy for about a month..... we were supposed to go out yesterday with my friends, when he decided to bail on me to go out with his friends instead. i said i wasn't happy about that, and he decided he'd meet me instead. later on, he told me that his car had suddenly broken down, and he needed to stay in and fix it for work the next day. he didn't have work the next day, so i asked him why he would say that. he gave me some excuse about being on earlies, and we haven't spoken again. should i apologise for jumping to conclusions or stick to my guns?
2006-12-31 21:39:42 · 15 answers · asked by livingthelie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he only lives 2 minutes walk away from me, and when i suggested maybe he'd walk instead of taking the car, he didn't bother replying.
2006-12-31 21:47:14 · update #1
Its always good to be the first to apologize .................... but in this case, stick to your guns!!!! If he doesn't call you or anything, HE'S SIMPLY NOT WORTH IT. Don't waste your time on a guy who doesn't have the guts to tell you that he needs some time with his friends. There is nothing wrong with a guy wanting some male bonding but to lie about it is pretty bad. Find a guy who is strong and who loves nd respects you enough to tell you the truth.
2006-12-31 21:45:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've only gone out for a month he has a right to want to be with his friends (and would no matter how long you've gone out).
What happened was you gave him a hard time about going out with his friends at first, so he figured he'd keep the peace, go out with you; and then lie to you later (because he does have a right to want to be with his friends and because he probably doesn't want to deal with being grilled about it or resented for it.)
When he did lie you did not allow him to save face. You decided it was important he know you know he was lying rather than just get the message that he isn't going to tolerate having certain "time demands" made on him; and because he doesn't want to fight with you and probably likes you, he'd rather keep the peace and lie. You could have just taken the hint (whether or not anyone appreciates being lied to - sometimes we have to do the gracious thing).
I don't think you should necessarily apologize for making an "issue" at this point, but I think maybe you should acknowledge that you understand that after only a month maybe you have been expecting a little more from whatever the relationship is than is appropriate.
The way a relationship is supposed to grow is that you date someone for x number of months, and over time it changes from "someone I date" to "the person I have a relationship with". It sounds to me like you do what many people do and start thinking in terms of "our relationship" after only a couple or few weeks, and that is jumping that gun you mentioned.
You have a right to expect respect from him, but maybe its a little more than is appropriate for you to expect him to place you a whole lot higher on his priority list than his friends are right now.
You may want to consider, too, if he was all that interested in you he wouldn't bail on you to be with his friends. This could just be a sign of his immaturity (and inability to be all that serious about any girl); but it could be a sign he doesn't have as much interest in you as you think he should.
I don't think you ought to stick to those particular guns. The thing will either blow over or else it could be a sign that you already lost this guy long before he started bailing and lying. If you want to hang onto the possibility that you can still go out with him sticking to your guns isn't going to accomplish that.
2007-01-01 06:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should give him some space
guys need to go out with there friends from time to time
if u give him the freedom to do what he wont he wont lie to u
u must apologise to him & tell him that u trust him & that u know that he couldn't lie to u
2007-01-01 05:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by MoaazZ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick to your guns. If he really wanted to see you, he would find the way to do it, even with a broken car.
2007-01-01 05:44:53 · answer #4 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you have written, he seems insincere in his relationship, if any, with you. If he cheats you with his words now, how could you be sure he won't cheat you in action(being unfaithful) in future? If he truly love you, he would put you first, not his friends. All the best!
2007-01-01 05:46:54 · answer #5 · answered by Alfretz T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns
2007-01-01 05:53:34 · answer #6 · answered by floydsimpalass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a lying dirtbag--trust me i've been lied to and dated enough scum to know....keep him there for now but seek other options and keep busy..."ice" him out for a while and see what happens.
***"ice" him out in my world means to not call, speak or contact him for a few days, a week or longer...act very busy and aloof and see what happens
2007-01-01 05:45:14 · answer #7 · answered by PhoenixRising 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns he is not being truthful with you so there is no apologising for you to do.
2007-01-01 05:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by Mac H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i were you, i would stick to my gun. i mean, would you back out a date with your boyfriend in order to go out with your friends that had been planned only after the date was planned? i'm sure not. so it ought to be the same for him. its mutual respect.
2007-01-01 05:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by Melody 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. After only a month of dating, you really shouldn't be all in his face controlling him.
2007-01-01 06:40:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋