I have a good chemistry with a girl who is my friend. When we met we click and develop a good friendship. I also knew she was dating someone and it look like she was getting close to being married. I found out thru friends that they have seperated and she has kept herself busy with school, volunteering, and even taking on a second job.
Now the last time we spoke was months ago and we talked about our work, life, family, and social status and after that I never heard anything back and friends that we both know told me that she still is single.
I want to tell her how I feel and I was thinking in writing her a letter instead of calling her over the phone or even face to face since her life is real busy.
Is this a good idea?
2006-12-31 21:33:53 · 11 answers · asked by Nino70 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Face to face is probably better. When I get letters like that, it tends to set things off from the wrong track. Phone calls, and then face to face would work much better/
2006-12-31 21:41:31 · answer #1 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most certianly it is a good idea!
You are already friends, so while a letter might be of some shock to her, she should not object and it will make a discussion necessary. She can trust you, you can trust her, so the awkwardness will disappear quickly. You are in a rare and beautiful situation. If she acts adversely or gets offended, the she really isn't your friend. This is NOT to say that she has to accept. She most certianly does not, unless you two move to a Muslim country.
The best relationship anyone can have is to have such with their best friend! (of the opposite sex, in this case.)
In your letter, ask her if it is possible to have an intelligent discussion because this matter is so important to you and could possibly be of some significance to her as well.
Weather the answer is yes, no or we'll see, she is likely to have the courtesy to fimd a time slot open for you in her schedule to at least discuss this.
Lastly, letter writing is a lost art form these days. email on a subject of this magnatude would only serve to cheapen the issue and the telephone is kinda tacky and kinda cold for this particular thing.
Use the letter to set up a meeting and use face to face to share your feelings further.
Long term relationships and marriages with someone that goes this far back give you BOTH an edge on being able to relate to all things and on every level.
How many of us can claim that?
I am married & yet I envy you, on this point alone.
There is nothing wrong with "ruining a perfectly good friendship" if you are only going to take it to the next level.
Anyone who uses the above quote on you is copping out.
Let's hope that your lifetime friend doesn't cop out.
You'll find out shortly.
Good luck and God bless!
Shawn in Bluffton,SC
2006-12-31 21:54:46 · answer #2 · answered by g4331 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrange a suitable time for both of you to meet up, in a relaxed atmosphere like a meal or bar. Chat, talk discuss - what ever takes you fancy!
Then decide after that meeting if you felt a connection and/or chemistry.
Then arrange another 'date' or meeting. If that is again successful, then approach the question or idea of seeing each other more often.
This woman seems like shes just come out of a relationship and may want to be careful entering a new one - especially with a friend.
Tak eit slowly, with initial meetings. Please don't write a letter - this may confuse your friend and things will come across different then in a face to face situation.
HAPPY DAYS! x
2006-12-31 21:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by Fairy Dust :*:*: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face-to-face man.... if it is meant to be, you're gonna have to work for it. If she wants anything to do with you, she'll make time in her busy life for a cup of coffee or dinner. Ask her out. What's the worst thing that could happen?? She says no? She isn't interested? And you'll be exactly where you are today. But what if she says yes??? Ahhhh... the possibilities!!!
2006-12-31 21:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on now, you don't want to write her a letter because "her life is real busy." You want to take the easy way out. Just be a man, call her up and ask her out on a date. All she can say is no.
2006-12-31 21:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of flute player 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Matters of the heart are always better when dealt with face to face. It's always best to tell someone your true feelings while looking them in their eyes.Never write your feelings down in a letter, cause you never know where it may end up......black and white may get passed around somehow.Besides you need to see her reaction to what you have to say to her.Real men aren't afraid to express their feelings and share them.
2006-12-31 21:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me, I'd find it kind of creepy to just get a letter from someone that said that type of thing.
Why not a quick call and say something like, "I heard you're single again, and I was wondering if you like to go to dinner and a movie."
Such a call wouldn't take long. She'll get your message and either agree to go out or tell you she isn't ready to be dating yet.
2006-12-31 21:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I'd call her. Ask her to go for coffee or a soda. Someplace quiet but where you both feel relaxed. Good luck!
2006-12-31 21:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by Tweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phone her.
2006-12-31 22:40:57 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FACE-TO-FACE
2006-12-31 21:46:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋