I have recently moved back to my parents house with my 7 month old daughter and they are great with her, but sometimes they get a little to involved with parenting her. They have been overheard calling themselves mum and dad to her and when confronted say they feel like they are her parents because they are still young and have children at home and dont mean to. What do i do?
2006-12-31 21:23:21 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I am 20 but take every responsibilty for my child i moved out of home when i was 15 to be with my babies father who i had been with for 2 years at the time, who i found out after nearly 7 years together was cheating on me 2 months ago, now my parents say she is under our roof she is ours i confront them all the time about it but it doesnt seem to worry them i am trying so hard to get my own place and get on my feet but find it hard being so young with a baby, i dont go out and party i feed her bath her buy everything for her plus help my parents out with whatever money i have left i dont splerge on myself i am trying to be a respnsible mother to my child. She calls me mum and her dad, dad, but when she asks for her dad my mum says she is asking for her grandad. My baby sees her father everyday and knows who he is. I love my parents and appreciate them taking us in but feel like i am starting to fe4el resentment towards them for this.
2006-12-31 22:02:06 · update #1
I'm assuming you don't have a choice about your living arrangement right now. So, until you get back on your feet, you're going to have to be there. My advice, is to let them know how you feel, and correct them EVERYTIME!!!
Now, I had my first at 16, cause I WAS stupid. My mother never once referred to my son as anything but her grandbaby. I'm sorry, they don't forget they're not your childs parents. I have three younger siblings, all at home, when I was living with my mom. She was always Mamaw, never once called herself Mom. When my husband and I were PCSing, we had a change in orders last minute. We had already packed our things, so didn't have anything other than what we were taking overseas with us. Me and my FOUR children spent the two weeks with my Mother. Again, she was grandma, and never once Mom. My little sister was date raped and now has a little girl. They live with my Mom and our little brother. My Mom pays their bills, so my sister can finish school and get her degree. She's Mamaw to my neice as well! My mom was 36 when my son was born. That's young enough to have one of your own still.
I don't care what their excuses are. You don't just forget that you did't have a child yourself.....period. Tell them NO, that's YOUR baby, and they would do well to remember it.
2006-12-31 21:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by Patty O' Green 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Even at 37 with 3 kids - as soon as you are back under the same roof as your parents you revert to being their child again! I only have to visit for holidays but it can be very difficult to hold the tongue on occasion! You sound in a very difficult situation and it must be very frustating for you. Try and see about getting your own accomodation - moving out is your only solution however hard it might be for other things. Your parents have to give you your freedom and rights to be a parent to your baby and although they might be young and still have children at home, they can't take over your parenting responsibilities.
I hope you get this situation resolved but I am afraid to say that parents (and in laws!) just can't help themselves and even with 3 kids I can be left feeling like a school child again! Good luck!
2007-01-01 07:35:06 · answer #2 · answered by wee stoater 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thought porridge and oatmeal were the same thing? Anyway its not really a good idea to give a baby crisps. Actual carrot sticks would be ok (if he's teething, my son love chomping on stuff) but there's no nutritional value in crisps and probably a lot of salt or sugar in them. White chocolate also isn't something you want to be giving him daily. Fruit is fine,(although I was told to avoid citrus and berry fruits so no to strawberries) but he doesn't seem to be eating that much around lunch time, just a yoghurt? Does he have milk instead? Its all dependant on how much formula/milk he's getting because if that's filling him up, a yoghurt is fine. But the main aim at this age is to introduce a)different or more lumpy textures, and b) the social setting of "eating" so them being at the table, or being with you when having a meal. I never really liked the jar foods, thought they were too expensive for what they were and I always just made my own, so I knew what he's eating.
2016-05-23 02:24:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be used to calling your parents 'mum' and 'dad', try to get into the habit of calling them 'grandad' and 'nana' (or whatever). All of the time. She will pick it up off you too (and your siblings, so get them involved). You must make a stand about this - I'm sure your parents are brilliant for helping, but you don't want your daughter getting confused. Say you will not leave her alone with them if they cannot respect your wishes. They may be babying you too - and you sound incredibly strong and responsible, but they may believe that that is what you need at the moment. Good luck - I'm sure you'll be a good strong example to you little girl, because you want to get it right.
2007-01-01 08:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by Em 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are piggy in the middle.
It is possible that having helped you out with accomodation, your parents are treating you as their little girl at home again.
Forgive them for wanting to do their best and not realising they are taking over your role. Their lines have blurred.
An honest and non - aggressive approach with both of them at the same sitting could help.
Go prepared with a note written down, which you can compose in a quiet moment when you are not upset or angry. Make it a practicle solution, not emotional.
They will always be your baby's Grandparents and have a right to play that role, but need you to help them stay in their own role, not usurp your's. Your daughter is lucky to be loved and cared for by all of you and she deserves to have you trying hard to work this out
Having said this, be adult enough to have realistic expectations, do not abuse their generosity, and get your own place or work towards your independence as soon as you can
All the best
2006-12-31 21:41:51 · answer #5 · answered by Fred 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is your best policy!! Sit down with your mum and dad and have a conversation with them, and tell them that you really would appreciate it if they respected your wishes regarding the baby!! Remind them that you have every intention of finding your own home, and when that time comes, you want your daughter to really know and love her grandparents!! Tell them you appreciate their help and that you love them. And that you don't want to HAVE to move out because they disrespect your opinion, because that would just strain matters for a future relationship! Just stand strong ... your folks probably mean well, but sometimes people can get a little over bearing especially when it comes to babies!!
2007-01-01 09:21:42 · answer #6 · answered by lynne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i know what you mean i sometimes have the same problem. look they say mum and dad by accident as there so used to being mum and dad that saying grandma and grandpa wouldn't come naturally to say for a while. With the parenting issue let them know what your rules and expectations are and that you appreciate there help but you want her to be parented this way. Also listen to some of the suggestions they have sometimes it's easy to get stubborn and not listen to some good advice that they will have.
2006-12-31 21:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by finabella9 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you will be living there for a while sit down and have a serious chat with them. Let them know how you feel. You are that childs mother and for no reason should they be confusing your little girl by calling themselves mum and dad when in fact they are grandma and grandpa.
2006-12-31 21:29:50 · answer #8 · answered by hwlatmon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Living together again isn't the ideal situation, but hey, they're family, and apparently enjoying their kids and their kids! I remember once having to move home, and my son wasn't made welcome because he was 13 and considered old enough to take care of himself. Heartbreak on top of heartache. Make sure your'e doing the parenting, and be looking at a more favourable living situation for the future. Meanwhile try to enjoy the nurturing envoironment your parents may be trying to share.
2006-12-31 21:50:53 · answer #9 · answered by blue girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to look into whatever is possible for you to get out of the there is plan parent hood i would start there or if your in canada to talk the govn't they pay single moms some money and if you put your name on a list to get into housing it can take a while but if you call everyday they'll speed you up you have to be honest with them and tell them how much it bothers you because you are her mother and no one else should be even close to that to her besides you start calling her grandma everychance you get i called my dad dad who we visit alot and my son started calling him that needless to say his dad was not impressed i had to try very hard to break the habit my moms name to my son is nomma because he couldn't say grandma and he'd call my mom mama and i'd say no grandma so now shes nomma you should tell your mother about this and tell her to choose her name now so she doesn't get stuck with sumthing funny my dads new name is bop-bahh lol anyways best of luck and sit down with them and ask your mom to imagine how shed feel any mother in your shoes would feel as you do
2007-01-01 08:21:14 · answer #10 · answered by momma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋