i have 2 sons 14 & 7 they have different dads & my oldest wants his lil bro 2 come along sometimes and i know my sons dad is not obligated 2 take my youngest son anywhere but my oldest always asks his dad can lil bro come and my sons dad always says next time not this time and i really believe that if my younger son was welcome his dad would be including him & not lying to my son telling him next time and i have disscussed this with my sons father that if money was a problem that i would give you money for him and you really dont have to take him places that you need money for my oldest just wants his lil bro 2 come even if it just means that they play in the yard or play the videogame i just want my sons dad 2 stop lying to my oldest son telling him next time when he already knows that he is not going 2 ever include his lil bro he should be honest with my son & give him a concrete explanation as 2 why he wont include his lil bro
2006-12-31 21:22:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why don't you take the opportunity to have a special day with your youngest son while his brother is out? I'm sure he'd appreciate some alone-time with you. You're not going to change your older son's dad, and your older son will see soon enough that his father never gets around to "next time" so you don't have to badmouth your ex, either. Take the high road in this.
2006-12-31 22:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand exactly how you feel, but he is not olbligated to take him anywhere. I have a friend that includes the half-sister and half-brother when he takes his three bio kids. It is very unusual and he is just looking out for the best interest of ALL the kids. Getting your ex to take your other son may just be impossible. Some people are just selfish and looking out for their own interest.
As I said there is nothing you can do.....just love your son and let him know how important he is to you. I am sure your youngest really feels left out and at the age of 7 can't comprehend why he is not allowed to go. Try not to make a big issue in his presence, although it is, it will only make him feel more rejected. Try letting your youngest have a playmate over while his brother is gone and that way you can distract him from the obvious. Good Luck!
2007-01-01 10:28:41 · answer #2 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, that is the Longest run-on sentence I've ever seen. Wow!
Second, I don't expect that this dad will step up to the plate and come clean on why son #2 cannot attend.
I'd leave the situation be and let son #1 spend time with his dad and son #2 spend time with dad 2.
If need be, have a small convo with son 1 and suggest that he not offer to have his brother come along. Maybe you 3 can do something special together.
2007-01-01 05:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by tobiemonterrey 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Say nothing more to your 14 y/o son's father about this, you know what he's really doing and eventually your 14 y/o will figure it out too. Who knows what the future holds? Someday your 14 y/o may have a son that has a half brother and he'll be a real father to both of them. If his father mentions it, your son could tell him...I do that dad because I'm a bigger man than you were when I was gorwing up and I refuse to live my life by the example you set.
2007-01-01 08:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your older son that his father prefers that their time together be just the two of them. Your ex does not want to tell his son the truth because he doesn't want the boy to think less of him.
Tell your son that there will probably never be a "next time" --- and he should just not ask. Don't bad-mouth his dad-- that always back-fires. He will form his own opinion.
Also, explain to your younger son that having his older brother gone means that the two of you can do things together. It will be your "special time" with him while his brother has his time with his dad.
Don't expect that your son's father will ever change his mind.
2007-01-01 10:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, he should tell your son the truth. BUT unfortunately he doesn't want to be the "bad guy". DON'T say anything negative about him to your son. You'll find that soon enough your oldest will figure his Dad out by himself and you won't ever be put on the spot for your ex's bad behavior.
2007-01-01 05:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Tweet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he probably says this to his son because he doesn't want to upset him. He shouldn't have to take the son that is not his anyways. His visits are suppose to be with his son not the other children you have from somebody else. I think he's just trying to be nice about how he says things so it doesn't upset anyone. I mean he could be rude and say "hey he's not my son and no he's not coming with us" but he's not so be glad at least he's being nice about the whole thing.
2007-01-01 08:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ur son should definately go its wrong for him to not be included...wait did u give birth to both of them?or is 1 like a step son or whatever? if u gacve birth to both u outta have some say in wether or not they get to hang out and if thje dad doesnt tell him the truth u outta tell him
2007-01-01 05:29:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all,it sounds like you have an awesome 14 year old.Not many teenagers would think to include someone else if they are having fun! But the younger one should stay with you,and maybe do something special(especially since you didn't say the younger one gets to do anything with his dad.)Because he would enjoy feeling special,and you would enjoy seeing him happy!Good Luck.
2007-01-01 07:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by stressed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should just tell him that he doesnt get to spend alot of time with him and would really like it if they could do stuff just the two of them i am sure your son would understand that. But yes i agree its wrong for him to keep saying next time.
2007-01-01 05:27:47 · answer #10 · answered by d2347 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋