My kid is very popular with girls - how to handle it?

Question

My 16-year-old son is quite handsome and is constantly pursued by girls of various ages and backgrounds...even ones with boyfriends! He is pretty casual about it (he's in love with someone in Hawaii, he says!)...but the attention these girls give is getting on my nerves (frantic, constant phone calls, unannounced visits, multiple invitations to parties, etc., and petty fighting between them - over him - in school!).

He says it doesn't bother him but am I allowed to have it bother ME? I'm flattered that he's so popular and takes it in stride, but, aside from it bugging me that the phone rings 20+ times a day, I just feel like these girls' parents should know what they're up to (so they'll back off a bit).

My kid (and even we, his parents) gets interrogated by fathers and mothers (to a lesser extent) every time he goes to a girls' house, yet who is minding the GIRLS' behavior? Nobody, it seems? Should I let their parents know or will this all die down in time? I'm at my wits' end!

I would have put this in the "adolescent" section, but it seems like only teens post there!

What a lot of different answers! Yes, my son and I have had "the talk" (several times over) and he's totally checked out on birth control, but has no desire to get sexually active right now. Sometimes, he will tell me, "If it's for me, say I'm asleep, or busy"! That's okay, for awhile, but I think HE should let the girls know they're calling too much!

Answer 1

Your son is 16,not 6.If he doesn't mind all the girls' attention,it's OK.you don't have to mess with him,especially at that age.Let him decide what to do.he may like that girls like him,even though some of them have boyfriends.If that bothers him it's his problem.You shouldn't mess in his relationship if there is nothing dangerous with it.

Answer 2

I have the same problem with my 16 y/o son. You said you gave him the 'talk' but did you also talk to him about respect? Respect for the girls and his own self respect?
The hard part is the fact that he's 16. In 2 years, he can move out of your house and even out of your life if he wants to. This is the time for you to trust him. You've tried to instill values and morals into him, you've done the best you possibly can by this point. Now the only thing you can do is sit back and see how he does. Only jump in if he's making a horrible mistake in life, like doing anything illegal.
Let him handle the situation but defend you son during the interrogations, let the parents know what they're kids are up to. I'd tell your son he needs to get his own phone and pay for it himself. He's old enough he can make the money working for you (extra chores) or even a part time job.
I bought my son a cell phone but it's a pay by the minute plan and he has to pay for his own minutes. This way, he chooses who he talks to.
Good luck with your son.. it sounds like you've raised a great young man.

Answer 3

I'm sorry, I failed to see a problem. In high school, I was not allowed to date, or even like a girl. I liked girls anyway, but never dated because I didn't want to have the complications of having to live two lives (my life, and the life that I would have had to pretend to have for my parents). I wish very much that I could have had the chance that your son has. I'm sure you've talked to him about the dangers of STD's and pregnancies. Don't mess with it, he's doing alright

Answer 4

Well for a start, get him to get his own phone line installed and then when hes not at home just leave it off the hook...

Stick up for your son, he may be good looking but the girls behavior needs to be monitored by the parents of the girls as well, its not your job to bring up their kids.

I would next time one of them calls, ask to speak to their parent before you hand over the phone to your son, tell them that their girl has been calling alot and could you please get them to cut it back to once a week, if you feel you need an excuse, tell them your partner works long hours and sleeps alot when they are home and its disturbing their sleep with constant calls.

I remember when I was young and dating, and my parents didn't realize half the calls I made, perhaps that's the case here as well.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Doesnst' sound like too much of a problem. He's old enough, if you want, to have a cell phone which would ease the phone calls on you. But 16 and handsome is dynamic combination, just make sure he doesn't become shallow.

Answer 6

Make sure you have given him the talk. As uncomfortable as it is, he needs to know everything. I suggest answering the phone when the girls call and telling them they aren't allowed to call so much or ask to speak to their parents. It's not up to you to keep their daughters safe, but it is up to you to keep your son protected.

Answer 7

ignore all that nonsense about ugly ducklings blossoming and great fashions, she's not warm now yet you nevertheless favor to bang her. connect the club. All men see something sexually appropriate in a lady that he does not in the different case even supply the time of day. even inspite of the indisputable fact that your human beings make interesting of her, have self assurance me after I say that a number of the might want to have sex such as her if given the chance.

Answer 8

You are right! HE should be the one to figure out which girlS need to stop calling, and HEshould tell them! If it comes down to it, tell him no phone for one day while you two go hang out.

Answer 9

Make sure he understands the ground rules (i.e. use contraception, no drugs etc). But other than that, let him have his fun, he is a boy becoming a man.
think about when you were a teenager. What would you have wished your parents do for you?

Answer 10

dont tell thier moms.......then u'll become "an uncool mom"
and u dont want that happening......just talk to ur son about it and tell him to stop giving out the home number, and tell him to tell girls to call when they visit and stuff like that..