I am 16 years old and my daughter will be 3 months on the 30 of january, people say to me you should keep your legs closed they call me a tramp a slut or what ever they say walfare takes care of my baby. me being a parent brought joy to my life having my lil gurl is better than any thing do you thing that a teenager can't do for their child like a adult can? does every one think that just a gurl is a certain age walfare has to take care of their child ? do you think gurls younger than 16 should wait to have sex ? do you think that having sex before you 18 is rape?
2006-12-31 19:00:16 · 45 answers · asked by Ja'kaia mommi3 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First of all,I think that a mother(no matter what her age is) is a mother and nothing can stop her do the best for her child.I don't think that teenagers can't take care of a child.Yes,teenages may not have money(some of them have jobs by the way) but love, attention, hugs, kisses...they are not bought with money and everyone can give that to his/her child.And congrats on your child!I appreciate young girls who decide to care for their babies.
Second - I don't think a teenager should wait until 16 to have sex.There is no age for having sex and falling in love.I think sex should follow love.Even if you are 30,having sex without love is more stupid act than having sex with love at the age of 14.Also,everybody should be aware of the danger from having sex and be ready to use contraceptions.If that is so,there is no problem of having sex before age 16.
And finally,I disagree with sex only after marriage.Times change.Sex before marriage was a bad thing 100 years ago but now it's not like that.I think people should know each-other better if they love each-other.
2006-12-31 20:23:26 · answer #1 · answered by Livia 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it's easier for an adult to have a child then a teenager. Just because you're a teen parent doesn't mean you live on welfare and yes 16 year old girls should wait to have sex and it's only rape before 18 if the person forces you to have sex.
I had my first two children at 17 and 19. It wasn't easy but we made it, I was one of the lucky ones. The father stuck with me to help.
I waited and had my third child when I was 27 and it is so much easier. It is totally possible to be a good parent when you're young but it's the hardest thing you will ever do. It's also the most rewarding.
I hope you have a great support system in your family because you will need them, especially your own mother. Colic, teething, diaper rashes, stomach viruses.. etc. This doesn't have anything to do with your being young. Listen to your mom and being a parent will be 100 times easier. Trust me, she's been through this.
2007-01-01 00:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by sassydontpm 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People aren't going to like you...but that's their problem. The only person in the entire world who matters now is your daughter. The rest of the world can go hang itself. It doesn't matter if what you did was right or wrong or silly or anything. What matters is now you're doing to the best thing you can for your daughter. If that means you have to get a little extra help from the government then that's fine. Either stay in school or get your GED and get a job. If you can swing it still go to college. I'm not as young as you and I gave birth a month after I graduated from high school and now am in college. Our family is almost completely self sufficient (a little help every now and again from family is nice but not required) and people still think we're horrible people. There will always be some people in the world who don't approve no matter what you do. That's just the way life is. And your life isn't over. It's just different. Sure you can't go clubbing all the time and get drunk every weekend but really that's not what you should have been doing anyway.
2007-01-01 13:23:22 · answer #3 · answered by evilangelfaery919 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had my first son 2 weeks after I turned 17, I have never been on welfare or AFDC (or whatever it's called) I got a job to help to support my son, and yes I was lucky enough to get married to my sons father and still be happy about our family almost 10 years latter (and we have 2 boys now).
As long as your taking responsibility for your child, have a job and are able to find a way to support your child then I have no problem with it.
But when it comes to people who just have kids to get free money (and the taxes we pay say it isn't so free) don't bother to even try to get a job to provide for there families and just make one excuse after another as to why they can't do it with out government help, then yes I do have a problem with it and I don't care if there 16 or 100.
I say if you can't get a job then you don't need to be having sex. Sex is not a necessary part of life, no matter how good it feels or how much someone wants it, people can live without it (I'm just glad I don't have to). But children do NEED to be fed, clothed, sheltered and loved. It's the PARENTS job to do this. It was the PARENTS who had sex and created the children, not the next door neighbors or the childless couple across town, so why should they have to be the ones who pay for it? Welfare and AFDC (or whatever) were not meant to be a life long thing, yet some people live there lives on it with no effort to ever even try to get off it. These are the people that I don't understand or even like.
2006-12-31 21:54:44 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, we as humans do not realise that we are doing something wrong when we do it. so even if the whole world says that we are wrong, we won't listen to it.
you are 16 now and with child. your decision was not right (having sex and all) but i don't think you are going to understand now. when you get older, more wiser, you will understand why teen parenting and teen sex are not encouraged.
but hey, i am very glad that you took responsible for your child. and a proud and happy mom too. and yeah, having a child (be it boy or girl) is a wonderful thing.
i think its better if you put your all into this child for now. you can have more kids a little later. plus i am not sure if your family has ample money to survive on and hence if you can bring up your kid without problem.
you are not a "tramp a ****". none of us have the right to call you names or judge you because none of us here are pure.
welfare are set to help people in need. if you can bring up child without problems - its not only about providing education, food ..(basic needs) but to give your child the love, care, protection and be there when she needs you) - then i don't think they have to take away your child or anything like that. anyways, i don't know which country are you in so i've no clue what are the rules & regulations there. so i can't comment on this much.
i believe that girls younger than 16 shouldn't have sex.
i believe having sex before 18 is foolishness, immature and due to unawareness.
2006-12-31 19:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by doingmybest 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think teen parents are bad or "tramps", etc., but being a parent is tough enough when you're older, more experienced and have more $! It may seem all roses now, to you, while the baby is an infant and people are hovering around, telling you how cute she is. JUST WAIT 'til she starts into the various, difficult stages, like teething, potty training, getting off the bottle (or breast) and into the tantrum phases! You won't have so much help then, unless your friends and family are saints!
No, I don't think it's a good idea for ANYONE who's inexperienced to have kids, especially teens! They're almost certainly going to screw up more than older parents AND they'll resent having their youth taken away by the kid! That's when child abuse and neglect CAN become problems. You need help, and with it, yes, you can do a pretty good job of raising a child, but your youth is GONE! You can't have both.
As for sex before age 18? No, it's only rape if it's under age 16, in most states. But if a guy really loves you...he will WAIT!
Look...we ALL (well most of us) want to have sex! That doesn't mean we have to do it! Just like I don't go steal a Ferrari because I really want one! Get it?
Good luck to you and your girl...you are REALLY going to need support!
Addition: I'm SHOCKED at how many people think that teen parenthood is "no big deal"! It's tough enough for adults to raise kids well, let alone those who are kids themselves! I see a LOT of excuse-making and defensiveness going on!
And to the person who said that kids should NOT wait 'til 16 to have sex?! GET A CLUE! Sex is not the be-all and end-all! Sure it's fun and great, but you CAN survive without it! And, if you DO find you MUST have it (which is really sad!), then get hold of at least ONE of the many birth control devices that have been around for almost 100 years! Take the famous Casanova: he had sex with lots of women, but openly advocated the use of condoms, in the 1700's!
NOBODY is thinking about the kids, as far as I can tell...only about themselves and THEIR sex urges and THEIR image! It's a travesty and no wonder that kids in this society are so messed up! Now...many of them have teenagers for parents, with no training, no job, no money, who only care IF PEOPLE LIKE THEM! SHEESH! GROW UP!
My parents didn't have me 'til they were in their 20's, and they STILL screwed things up! At least find out if you're mentally healthy before bringing an innocent life into the world! If you're not, then have an abortion. It's kinder to the child than being raised by self-centered, ignorant idiots!
2006-12-31 19:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Gwynneth Of Olwen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like it when teens have children on purpose, have 10 abortions because they are irresponsible or have five kids when they are 17, but I understand things happen.
As long as you can care for your child I think thats great. It doesn't bother me that teen parents use public assistance, because that's what it is there for. But teens that ignore their children because they are selfish give teen parents a bad name and really bugs me.
I don't think people should have sex until they are in a good relationship for several years, or can accept the consequences of sex. Sex before 16 isn't the best thing. No I don't think it should be considered rape prior to being 18, but instead if there is more than 3-4 years in age difference. A 13 and a 16 year old shouldn't be having sex. Neither should a 14 and an 18 year old. If one person is 18 and under and the other is 21+ that should be considered rape.
2006-12-31 19:09:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I hate to say this but you will always face peoples opinions i got pregnant at 15 and had my son at 16 I decided to get married get my own place settle down and start my life as a mom. I have now been married four years yes i graduated high school with the thanks to lots of saturday school. People will always say how stupid it is but i love being a mom and i wouldnt change it for anything in the world my oldest son is now 3 1/2 an my baby is 16 months im buying my first home and working on baby number 3.......Its all about how you take parenting yes people assume you have to be poor or stupid but the truth is sex is a part of nature when we have children doesnt decide how smart we are its what we do after that, i started my life as a full time mom and its what i love i dont have to work becuase my husband takes care of that but if i wanted to i can. I had so many snikers and ugly looks but i told them what i do in my bed is only my concern. And to the comments those idiots left screw them if you are a good mom and love your kid then it doesnt matter the age you had her. There are moms who are 25, 26, 27 and so on who are drug addicts and let there boyfriends molest there kids. SO NO AGE DOESNT MATTER, its how you are as a parent love that child teach them right from wrong and show them srtong will and a happy life and years from now when they are grown you will know the satisfaction of having that child so young its a learning experice for you so pay attetnion. best of luck and i promise as times goes by things will get better and the comments will stop. not completly theres an idiot in every village well a few from the looks of things.....best of luck and congrats im trying for a little girl your lucky....teach her well.
2006-12-31 19:11:23 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie G 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know how much joy children bring to your life; I have two of my own. There are so many things that come easier if you wait until you are older and married. I do agree with waiting until you are older to have sex but I also know how unlikely that is. Protect, protect, and double protect needs to be the number one thought on teenager’s minds if they are going to have sex.
My mother raised us partially on welfare but got off of it as soon as she didn't need it. If you need it then use it but do as my mother did and don't abuse it.
Yes, there are double standards when talking about girls and boys.
As for rape, if one person is a legal adult and the other is not but still a teenager it is considered 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor'. Rape is if one person says no and the other still forces them self on the person saying no.
I have a friend who has 4 children all with different daddies and has never married. She is now 30 and still struggling. The more children you have the harder it gets even when you have a husband. I do agree with you waiting to have sex again until you are older. I do not think of you as a wh**e or a tramp. It isn’t my place to judge.
Keep in mind parenting only gets harder (in different ways) as they get older. Consistency is key along with love, listening and support when parenting your children.
Please if there is any of this that will help you in your life, remember it and use it. Bless you and your little girl. I hope life only brings you happiness and good fortune.
2006-12-31 19:33:10 · answer #9 · answered by snuggler 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey,
im 17 and my little James is going to be 9 months on the 12th of january!
I think teenage parents are like any parent, they can be the best and the worst.
I didnt choose to have James, it happened, it was a mistake, but James ISNT a mistake.
Having sex isnt rape if you are under 18, the law says 16 is the concent age.
Me and my boyfriend and still together, we have a house and all we get is child benfit!
I dont think teenage parents are that bad, times are changing, 100 years ago, 'teen' parents would be the norm!
Dont let people put you down!
coco xx
2007-01-01 02:51:43 · answer #10 · answered by CocoLette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋