Help Me If You Can, I'm Feeling Down....?

Question

About a year ago, a Male friend (X) and i were at college, and we joined a young enterprise group in a local girls college for uni points. a month or so down the line, a new girl (Y) joined the group. i fell in love with her the moment i layed eyes on her and wanted to go out with her.... though she had a BF at the time. so we (Me,X & Y) became friends.
then a few months later (summer 2006), i ended up in hospital and X&Y would visit as friends do.later one evening, when i was out, they started acting like a couple, though they were very persistant in stating that they wern't. i told X that i was uncomfortable with it because i liked her, but he said thats why he dosen't act "coupily". for some reason i made the biggest mistake of my life right there.... i said:
"X, I'm OK With you acting like that with Y".....
I STILL REGRET THAT TO THIS DAY
anyways, sept 2006, X decides to ask Y to properly be his GF as an 18th birthday pressie and she says yes :(
i felt like crap (still do)

Part 2

ever since then, they are more "luvvy duvvy", and he starts doing things cause she wants him to (e.g: hating friends he liked before because she hates them, etc...) and only going places together.
anytime i am around them they will just start to make out
(perfect EG: As i am writing this, they are having very loud sex in his parents bedroom, with me downstairs, with tears streaming down my face, as i hear her every scream of ecstacy:( )
X dosen't deserve Y, because he treats her like a bank, a cheap whore and then some.... when she cold have it so much better (she has told me she has often thought of going back to her ex from earlier because of X, and she did cheat on X for a bit.... catch 22 LOL)

Part 3

I've only told a few other close friends how i like her, but never how i really feel about her...
I just want to tell her how i feel, how she makes me feel, how i will do anything for her, care for her, protect her, even die for her.....

I Want her to be with me, but still keep our friendship if she say no, or if we were to breakup, but i dont want to upset X by betraying his friendsip like that, so what can i do?

Any and all suggestions/advice please as i have been in a rut for all of 2006 because of this, and i don't want 2007 to be the same.

PS: Soz about the length, but i've never been so open about how i feel about Y and what i want to anyone, so i apologise, butit would really mean a lot to me if i could get over this barrier in my life right now.
thanks for your time! :D

Answer 1

You say "X doesn't deserve Y". I say "Y" doesn't deserve YOU. I would leave the house as soon as possible. X is not and never was your friend. And I'm sure Y knew you fancied her, and that she would treat you like this makes me realise you have no reason to be in love with her. X & Y have a right to be together, but I would NOT consider X a friend, nor Y someone worthy of your love.

I understand you love her and it stinks, but think about what exactly you love in her. Her soul? Her spirit? Her kindness, energy, etc.? If so - and you truly believe she shows these things to you - I am not one to say differently. Leave his house though. If he is your flatmate find somewhere else to be. If she is a friend at all she will respect not 'doing it' with you right in the next room. You may want to tell her, Sean, but she has made it clear if she isn't with X she'd like to be with the other ex:P (Gosh, the X & Y stuff gets weird after a while).
If you'd like to tell her, do so...but you incur more heartbreak. She has not shown any signs of interest in a relationship with you beyond friendship. I don't believe that one can be 'in love' with someone who would hurt them maliciously. She may not be, but there's a good chance she knows you fancy her and she is completely disrepecting you by doing this in a place you are in.
Good luck, mate.

Answer 2

Ouch. I'm sorry man. This is one of the worst things that can happen to a young person.

I've been in a situation like this before. I tried several different things out. What worked the best for me was:

1. Stay the hell away from X and Y.
2. Talk about what happened, and how you feel, with other friends. It helps.
3. Try to focus on your own life, and don't think about either X or Y too much. (This will be hard to do, but it will make the pain fade more quickly.)

It's unlikely that you can do anything to change the way X and Y are right now. If X asks why you stopped hanging out with him, I would tell him that you have nothing against him as a person, but that it's too painful to you to hang around him right now. If Y asks why you stopped hanging out with her, I would lie. ("I've just been busy recently.") She'll probably get the message without you having to say anything directly.

In the end, you have to figure things out for yourself, but the above is what I would do in this situation.

Answer 3

If she's worth it then wait. There's always a chance that X and Y relationship would end one day. Until then play along pretending not to have any interest in her, and if she had or still has the slightest interest in you, that should irritate her and make her seek your attention. If not, there are plenty more pebbles on the beach.

Answer 4

sorry man. I really hope that 2007 well be much better then 06. try spending less time with those two and try looking for another girl. keep yourself busy and try and find some fun. good luck and have a happy new year.

Answer 5

And I do appreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Wont you pleeease please help me?

Sorry, someone was gonna put it ... shite, megan beat me 2 it! Darn you!!!!

Anyways, I suggest, as hard as it is, move on. Go out and find a new girl. If girl Y is for you, she will be with you eventually, when its right. Until then, live yer life!
Good luck & have a super 2007

Answer 6

hey, very sorry for you, but think bout what u said:

u said that ur friend changed coz she wanted him to eg. hate friends, only go out together…
u said that she cheated on him (if he treats her like a whore – he deserves it)
u said ur friend treats her like a whore (if she cheated on him… doesn’t she deserve it?)
u said they start to make out everytime ur around
u said that when u were in hospital u told him, that u like her… still he didn’t really care (even if u said that “ur ok with it”… a real friend would know that ur just saying that, not really meaning it)

Do u need a friend who treats his gf like a whore?
Do u need a friend who doesn’t care much bout how u feel?

Do u need a gf who wants u to give up most of ur friends (who said that she will accept it if u say u wont give them up?), who wants u to change into a very different kind of person?
Do u need a gf who cheated on her former bf? (she may cheat on u too…)

Answer 7

I'd say... forgive yourself for acting impulsivelly... we all make mistakes... As for them, they seem to be bothering you because they know they can achieve it... Try to ignore them... As for her, you in your heart know deep inside she could have a better time with you... As for her, also, she doesn't sound like a very valuable girl... Why does she participate in all of that? Love yourself my friend... Sometimes we win, some others we loose... Mourn your loss and... move on! You deserve a lot better!

Answer 8

Don't beat yourself up over this
PS fifibee 16
. I keep thinking of The Beatles !

Answer 9

Sorry, it's New Years Eve and I just can't get that song out of my mind now. Good luck to you and don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 10

That's terrible. I'm sorry, I don't know how I could help. Maybe you should tell Y how you feel, but tell X first. If you don't things might go bad. Well, are you sure she's "The One"