my ex wife who left me within six days of being granted ILR how do i get HO to do something about it?

Question

married 2004 wife entered uk on no recourse to public funds visa for 2yrs period.She pretended to love me and i was fooled into believing her.I signed her ILR papers in 2006 ,ILR was granted and she left 6 days later.HO say they will investigate her for obtaining ILR by duplicity,that was 6 mnths ago.She now has public funds and is awaiting a council house ,a grant for furniture and is getting free education, also has legal aid and is petioning for a divorce,had to take her to court to get access to our son who is 18mnths old,she agreed to me having him for 3 days a week,from fri 10am to sun at 4pm,she is now threatening to take me back to court as i wont agree to her proposal that i drop my access from each week to every fortnight.After she left found evidence that she had been on internet looking for another man two months before she left and the last time she accessed the site was the day she left, using friends computer, this was sent to HO investigation team, is proof of duplicity

Answer 1

LEAVE HER BE,LET IT GO,WHAT GOOD WILL YOU GET FROM HER BEING D-PORTED.SHE WAS DESPERATE.FORGIVE HER AND MOVE ON.
HOW DID YOU GET HER PREG. IF SHE LEFT 6 DAYS LATER?I GUESS I MISSED SOME INFO,BECAUSE IT'S NOT ALL MAKING SENCE TO ME. BUT ANYWAY IF A CHILD IS INVOLVED DO WHAT YOU CAN TO GAIN CUSTODY,BUT DONT RUN HER OUT OF THE COUNTRY,THE CHILD NEEDS HIS/HER MOTHER ALSO!

Answer 2

Sorry dude, I know this is a rough day for you. Hopefully you have family around that you can immerse yourself in, to help ease the pain. You want to reach out to her, to show her you still think about her, to show that you are still the kind hearted, thoughtful person that she left. What I would do, not knowing much about the total picture, is this. I would wait a day or two, and then send her a belated Mother's Day card. Maybe if you feel like opening up your heart a little, you could tell her how your love for her remains, and always will. She chose to leave for some reason or reasons. Maybe it was just a case of finding the grass a little greener on the other side. You can hold out hope that it will end, and that she will return. To make this a real possibility you need to give her space, you need to give her time, you need to give her understanding, and you need to give her support. Remember you have a child with this woman, and the better your relationship with the mother is, the better off the child is. Painful, yes, humiliating, yes, but if you are a true man you can rise above that. You can channel the love you have into your child, and always remain the positive force. What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger.

Answer 3

HI, u know the best thing to do is to file for custody of ur child from now see what u can get...then or while this is going on move on..there are plenty nicer ladies out there...not all citizens who marry foreign ladies end up with sham marriages some actually last for many years do not be discouraged...this will not last...I bet that if you married a good hardworking godfearing lady the judge/ magistrate would look upon u as the mo responsible parent and give u sole custody...just a thought...God bless u!

Answer 4

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. You sound so angry, but I imagine you are hurting badly too.

Are you 100 per cent sure that your wife was pretending to love you? Many relationship, especially those where partners come from different backgrounds, breakdown. She may have done what you describe, but she may see things quite differently from you. It may help you and your wife if you could talk things through with the help of a trained mediator.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation you have ended up with a gorgeous son. If you love him then you will know that he needs both his father AND mother. (I have two adopted sons and, trust me when I say, children need to know their blood).

So, you have a choice, get your revenge on your wife or do your best to ensure your son grows up in a happy,.supportive environment. with his mother and father.

I hope you make the right choice. .

Good Luck

Sparky x

Answer 5

You need to think about what is best for your son. Your wife may or may not be deported, as you have passed on all the info to the Home Office already, the rest of it is out of your hands, but would that really be best for him? - remembering that she could possibly take him with her.

The real problem is the breakdown and/or lack of honesty in the relationship, the immigration side is just an extra complication. it may be that when she came here it was not her intention to just use you to get a passport, but that later for whatever reason she felt the marriage wasn't going to work out, but she stayed in it long enough to get her Indefinite.

Try not to be bitter against her, if only for the sake of the kid. Whatever happens, she will always be his Mum, and you will always be his Dad, for his sake and for both of yours, please make the best of it.

Good luck

Answer 6

In a way I could say,, I told you so.. I don't know why our kind is so stupid and have to go to these country ot trust these illegals or look for these women that the only thing they want is to come to our countries and get married to a nice person like you and once they get the green card these these women leave you. I remember that a guy asked questions about going over seas to get a bride, and I told him and he reported me for ABUSE. and now I see your message. I'm very sorry for your problem but,,,, but the only thing you could do now is to alert others,... Good luck

Answer 7

It is a bad case, if she really abused you, take the revenge (if she really did so). Tell home office that it was an arranged marriage, and not a real one and you made a kid to make sure she will stay here. Tell them that she accepted to serve and make a child for you to get ILR. See what happens.

Answer 8

Stick to your guns re the access as there appear to be no grounds for changing it.

As for your duplicitous wife, don't expend your energy on fretting about the whys and wherefores - just let the authorities handle it.

Answer 9

i bet you just want to kill the *****, lucky for me, my husband is now an illegal immigrant, told the home office year and a half back that the marriage had broke down, they don't give a f uck. but as long as he leaves me alone? and i know he can't claim benefits, but with this government who knows?. take it as a lesson learnt. and let it be a warning to all you people out there. people from a third world, don't love, they love to survive

Answer 10

It sounds like she was a mail order bride. They always do this, marry some guy to get into another country. What do you want, revenge? There is nothing you can do except move on with your life and next time get a woman who is from your own country.

Answer 11

Write to your local councillor - but make sure that you specify that you want custody of your child. Ask the councillor to address this as this is typical of entering the country under false pretenses...