I have a live-in boyfriend. We just moved in together a few weeks ago. However since living with him I have noticed some warning signs. Like he's starting to be possessive. I want to get out now while I still can. I know that I don't want to spend my life with him and its only fair to him also that i leave now. I am afraid of how he will react to this news. We were talking about getting married and having kids...But he's just not the "one" and I don't like this possessiveness. I have no family or friends nearby so I want to move out while he is at work and leave a letter explaining everything to him. Is this wrong? or cruel? I'm concerned for my safety but I also don't want to hurt him too much. although no matter how I leave its going to hurt. what do i do?
2006-12-31 12:15:27 · 19 answers · asked by familygurl58 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
pain is temporary. he will get over it. now you need to see other issues involved. are you both on the lease? if you leave, you are breaking your part of the lease so you are liable.
just worry about your legal issues. if there are none, then leave while you can. happy traveling.
2006-12-31 12:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by evi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While is 'sounds' mean & insensitive you're probably doing the right thing. If he's possessive he may not take this well and become angry, so leaving this way is really your only option. Just be careful and find somewhere safe to stay ( preferably with people you know & trust). After a few days you can try to call him to explain but I suggest NOT meeting with him alone or too soon.
Not to be dramatic ( & I'm sure this won't happen to you), but an aquatanice had a similar experience....the boyfriend ( after a month) came to her home shot and killed her, then turned the gun and killed himself...She was a strong, woman and I'm still shocked about this. You just never know how people might react.
Overall I think you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are doing what's best for you , and that's good.
Happy New Year with your New Start!!
2006-12-31 20:24:04 · answer #2 · answered by isis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If safety is your major issue, I suppose leaving while he's at work with a note is the right thing to do. However, you need to know that once you leave, there is no turning back or second thoughts. Re-think carefully before your move. As for his possessiveness, have a one-on-one chat with him. Let him know you are uneasy about it and that you still want that little freedom. Perhaps he is not even aware that he is possessive. Everybody deserves a second chance.
2006-12-31 20:19:51 · answer #3 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and leave a note. It's unfortunate you have to do it that way, but you do. Otherwise, he will likely get you to stay with him. I left my husband because of his controlling ways, and we have a daughter. I feel so much better that we aren't together anymore. I almost started believing the things he said about me were true. I felt badly for leaving him too.
You have to do what's right for you, and you have to see to it that it gets done (meaning don't worry about how you leave, just leave for your own sake).
Good luck!
2006-12-31 20:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being possessive is a huge irritating problem that never goes away. Some people (slave owners) think that their spouses are property that need to be trained like robots. Run, don't walk from this situation. Don't feel bad about what you are doing, to thine own self be true.
2006-12-31 20:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel trapped and are not happy and Feel that if you tell him you want to leave you will be forced to stay i say yes Leave and leave him a note but after the dust has settle at least talk to the guy and expalin your feelings
2006-12-31 20:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by Chris m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
truthfully i would say that if you feel that his reaction to you leaving would bring problems and his reaction would be physical then yes you should leave and leave him a letter. it is only fair to yourself i was in a relationship like that and why waste anymore of your time just leave now and get your own life together its better to do bad on your own then accompanied by someone else who doesn't have there acts together
2006-12-31 20:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by cubanaflavor2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're worried about your safety, then get someone to help you move while he is OUT. Then explain to him by phone and don't tell him where you are.
2006-12-31 20:21:50 · answer #8 · answered by sweet kisses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave follow your heart only u can decide this life have all kinds of levels u just have 2 reach them and explore or investigate.
2006-12-31 20:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by Keilsha Robinson 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not just leave a note I would actually sit down and talk with him. Tell him whats up! Tell him why you are leaving his sorry a**. yes, Its going to heart.
2006-12-31 20:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by euwch me pooch! 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋