How do you start a brand new friendship with someone that you just lost as a close friend?

Question

Recently I just lost three close friends in my old neighbor hood and so since this is a brand new year approaching I would like to start some brand new friendships with these former friends and also my sister in law because her and I have had some issues and can't seem to get along that well and we both feel obligated to like each other. Anybody got any ideas? Please help.

Answer 1

I'm guessing that the loss of friendship came from moving. With that assumption then throwing a party inviting them over might be helpful. Even if there were some disagreements, inviting them over will tell you a lot about how they see their relationship with you. If the person refuses with flimsy excuses and doesn't seem to want to see you again then you know that the differences are irreconcilable. If the person is willing to come over but seems hesitant to restart then you know that the person is willing to restart the friendship but has reservations and is testing the ground before giving full trust again. If the person comes with both arms open then the relationship was not strained in the first place.

As for your sister in law, a polite distance might be in order. With issues come lack of trust and with lack of trust comes more issues. Therefore the closer you try to be to each other, the more you will fight. It is better to keep a distance far enough so that you are not in each others face but close enough so that you feel a connection. (Hope that makes sense.)

Answer 2

Whatever issue(s) led to the loss of friendship need to be addressed. Forgive and forget and move on doesn't work.
If your behaviour was responsible, you cannot hope to initiate a new friendship without correcting the problem. If their behaviour was responsible, you need to set boundaries about what you are willing to accept. Everyone needs to be clear about where they stand and what is expected.

If they don't want to be friends anymore, you have to respect that and not pester them.
Good luck.