routines for home ed families?

Question

hi there i have 5 children ages 9, 7, 5, 3 & 2 and am 12 weeks pregnant with no 6. I have been home educating since my eldest was a baby, but i must admit i am so tired and the housework isnt getting done our routine has fallen by the wayside and i am shattered.

any ideas from people with large families or experts in time management - my hubby says i am putting too much pressure on myself and things will right in the end but i know from experience how undisciplined our household can get without our routine.

And ones things for sure i CANNOT live in mess and clutter gets me all depressed and affects my mental health (no joke) so am worried dont want to have 6 kids and still have to scale mount washmore lol

Answer 1

Hi! I agree with the other poster that your older children esp. the 9 and 7 year old can do chores. I have a 7 and 13 year old that both do chores. My 7 year old started doing chores at about 5 or 6 years old.

I tried the flylady system and I know it does help many people, but for me it was time-consuming and a lot of emails in my box and I felt a little overwhelmed with them. A similar system but easier for me, was motivated moms which I signed up for at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MotivatedMom/. It's also free, but they just send you 2 emails each day. One gives you the daily chores list which are your basic chores you do each day that always stays the same each day which are: Daily Chores:
__ Make beds
__ Feed pets
__ Prepare breakfast
__ Load / Run / Empty dishwasher
__ Sweep kitchen & entryway
__ Clean kitchen sink
__ Clear kitchen clutter & wipe down counters
__ Plan / Cook dinner
__ Wipe out bathroom sinks
__ Empty trash
__ Do laundry
__ Read to children
__ Exercise
__ Quiet time
__ Take vitamins/medication
__ Prepare tomorrow's clothing

, and then the 2nd email changes each day and are usually about 3 or so chores which are your weekly/monthly/seasonal chores (for example this Saturday was: Saturday
___ Change dishcloth/towel
___ Change hand towels in bathrooms
___ Water indoor plants

You can print them out and divide them up with your older children, giving them the easier chores, and that would be about 5 chores for each of you each day. As the other children grow up, they can take up some of the chores also which will really help.

We also have designated days that we just clean the house and do not do any school when the house feels like it is getting really out of control. The public school has teacher planning days and we have house cleaning days!

Someone mentioned about your significant other helping but I know that can be tough sometimes! I also do appreciate it when my dh chips in with the house although he works 50 hours a week and runs marathons so he doesn't help as much as I would like! He tends to do more of the painting of the house, fixing repairs kind of stuff which I am not good at.

Answer 2

The only advice I can give is below. First read this with an open mind and don't think I'm being judgemental of you.

You sound alot like I used to be and fight not to be now. I wanted my house spick and span, kids tidy as can be. It was really to a point that I was making myself miserable and my family unhappy too because they were afraid to touch anything.

God showed me I'd become a wee bit too prideful in my "clean house". I would seriously get in the pits over my home being dirty. My self value revolved around how clean I kept my home. I became more concerned about what company would think of me, that I forgot my own family's feelings.

I went through a stage where I just could NOT keep up and this house was horrible. When I finally saw that spending time with my family and not letting the cleanliness of my home dictate how I felt, I was able to enjoy my days more. Then over a period of a few months I got back on track and now keep things pretty tidy and I only have 2 kids and had trouble lol. After God made sure I realized my error.

Now I can let things slide more. I let the girls play with toys, but as soon as I see their interest has declined in the toy and they're off doing something else, I'll make them put them away.

Also, another thing you can try is having everyone get together about 45 minutes before bed time, everyone get in one room, and clean as much as you can before moving to the next one. It will help with your stress level. Things may not be clean the entire day (which won't happen when you have kids anyways), but you can look forward to waking up in a nice picked up home.

Hope that helped and know I mean no offense to you. I read this post the other day and didn't respond, but felt compelled to tell ya since we have a bit in common :) Cut yourself some slack, it'll be good for YOU, your family, and that unborn baby.

Answer 3

Wow, you sure do have a lot on your plate right now! When my kids were smaller my hs group leader said that the reason many women give up hsing is they just can't keep the house clean! When she told me that it actually encouraged me to know that others were in the same boat I was in at the time.

First of all, know that this stage in your life will not last. It will..um...last a few more years - but it is not forever. Don't do something you'll regret in the future to make life easier today. You know, you could put your 9 yo in school, but you'd still have to work with him/her on homework plus undo the damage each day, plus get him ready and all. I don't know if I can add much to what the other kind ladies have written, but here are a few things:
--if you don't have a chore chart for the oldest 3, make one. The reason I mention this is that I had taught my kids how to do all the basic chores and I HONESTLY THOUGHT that they were doing all these things regularly, but when I put them on a chart with things to do each day, I realized that they were NOT doing the amt of work I had thought they were doing. The house improved SO MUCH after that, and they became far more conscious of what they did in the house when they became more responsible for it.
--if the 2 and 3 yo take naps, you can get a lot of one-on-one hs time in then, even if they only sleep for an hour. If they don't take naps then maybe you could establish a 'quiet time' each afternoon where they have to play quietly in their rooms or something. I know that hsing in the afternoon is not the greatest learning time, but it might be better than nothing...
--consider your kids doing part of their work by video or self-instruction;this would REALLY help you out.

Don't give up! You can do this!

Answer 4

Get some discipline, and order Managers of their Homes, by Teri Maxwell. You can find it at www.titus2.com under products. I don't care if you're Christian or not, it is a very good system. They also have Managers of their Chores, a good system for creating and maintaining a routine with your children.

I homeschool with seven children (and just found out one is on the way), and I know it's not easy. The truth is that you can never allow things to slide, because not only do you have to keep going, but you have to pick up the pieces from the shattering.

Do you take breaks for the holidays? We usually don't follow the public school routine, which is take three weeks in the winter and three months in the summer. We usually take a week every month off from schooling, and maintain a regular schedule the rest of the time. That is easier for us because too long of a break can ruin the routine, and as well, we usually maintain our schoolwork well enough in the other three weeks. Too long of a break not only ruins the routine, but also tends to allow backsliding in learning, as is evidenced by the two month regression work usually done every fall in PS.

Answer 5

I would not recommend that you scrap your routine, but you may need to alter it to fit your circumstances.

For example, it won't hurt if you relax your education routine a bit. Focus on the 9 year old academically. Your other children are young enough that they won't lose anything if their academic load is lightened for a few months.

Also, teamwork is key. If your kids aren't helping already than get them involved in the cleaning. A 9 or 7 year old can do the dishes, vacume carpets or take out the trash, a 5 or 3 year old can pick up around the house, dust furniture, or watch the 2 year old. There is nothing wrong with kids helping out in age appropriate ways.

Ask your husband to help out when he's home by doing dishes, cooking dinner, or teaching one or two homeschool subjects in the evenings.

Answer 6

Wow! You are a brave woman and being 12 weeks pregnant, no WONDER you are tired!!!!! As I presume sending the kids to school is not an option for you, have you started getting the older ones involved in house work routines?

For clutter I suggest lots of labelled tubs, the big ones you get from the cheap shops. I even put labels on all the drawers in my daughter's bedroom; pens and pencils, socks, beanie babies....you know. That way, once she could read she had no excuse for not putting things away. For those who can't read, pictures work fine!!!

I hope you also get housework help from any other significant adults in the house (hint hint)!!!!! Especially while you are in those tiring months of early pregnancy.

Don't lower your standards. Demand cooperation from those members of your family who are capable of it!

Good luck with everything and Happy New Year

Answer 7

www.Flylady.net nearly saved my life! It takes some time to get used to it all, but it's definately worth it.
Also, you probably are being too hard on yourself, BUT men just don't understand how a cluttered house stresses you out.
Since you're pregnant you're probably more emotional, that's ok, but beware of depression, esp. after you have the baby.
Also, that is a LOT of responsibility, too much in fact.
As a former home schooler I can tell you that when you are tired and overwhelmed, you aren't the teacher or the mother you need to be. I can also tell you that as great as homeschooling is, many, many moms keep doing it when they should be because of pride. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, only that you need to consider it.
I became a LOT better mom in general when I put my kids in public school, and I did take one of them back out when it was a better time to do so.
Please feel free to write if you need support.

Answer 8

Focus on the 9 and 7 year old. Then they can show the younger ones things.

Have everything color-coded. I know a family with four kids who does that. One kid is blue, one kid is red, one kid is pink, and one kid is green. Each kid's stuff will be in that color.

Let's say the 9 year old is green. He will have a green box -or something- to keep his school work and supplies in. He will have green notebooks and green binders, perhaps green pens. 7 year old is orange. He will have an orange school box, orange notebooks, et cetera.

You can probably leave the 9 year old alone for some of his work. If you tell him, okay, do your math lesson and come to me with any questions, you can get a break.

Mostly make sure the kids are good at being tidy. When you're done with school, tell everyone to put their stuff away. When they get bored playing with something, tell them to put their toys away and make sure they do it. Have a reward system for that. If a child gets his work done efficiently, is tidy and is helpful for a certain amount of time, he gets a Token. Have something you can redeem Tokens for. Say, five Tokens will get him an ice cream. Or twenty tokens earns him a dollar.

Answer 9

FlyLady http://www.flylady.net and MOTH http://www.titus2.com .

Have you ever seen that program about the family with 16 kids--they also homeschool? The mom said that she was sort of an okay housekeeper until she hit 5 or 6 kids, then she needed to change things. She was told about MOTH, bought the book, started following it and it did wonders for them.

FlyLady can help you declutter your house and have some basic housekeeping routines. The two programs should complement each other nicely.

Answer 10

- 7 year old & 4 year old have their baths after school - hubby has a bath when he returns from work - dinner at 7pm - bath for 1 year old at 8pm - bedtime bottle/snack if needed for 1 year old then all children in bed by 9pm - then I'd have a bath before going to bed with the hubby =) Don't quite understand what K is on about... Think she has a doll fetish. Each to their own...