What is your faith's (or non-faith's) response to this description of gay sexuality and relationships?

Question

I have repeatedly read Christians say that homosexuality is unnatural.

But homosexuality is the only natural sexuality for me. Attempts in my youth to try heterosexuality were entirely awful. It felt like forcing myself to eat slugs.

After coming out, I spent almost 12 years with the man of my dreams until he died of cancer. We were monogamous, HIV negative, and deeply in love in a way that to us felt entirely natural. We vacationed together, spent holidays with our families, developed friendships with our neighbors, and in the end, his funeral was attended by almost 100 people from around the east coast, his friends and mine. Fewer than 5 of them were openly gay.

What about this appears unnatural? Hasn't science shown that sexuality has a broad expression across the animal (and human) kingdom?

What possible benefit accrues to straight people when they encourage gay men like me reject the only capacity we have for companionable love?

Reference for the animal kingdom:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_animals_displaying_homosexual_behavior

Spoiledprincess: Would you let your daughter marry someone who said that the only persons they were attracted to were guys?

Answer 1

Most Muslims say that it is un-natural to be gay, but I am not sure what they base it on. As far as the Quran goes, most people cite the Sodom story, the Quran doesn't mention Gomorrah, but from what I read it only condemns rape of men by men, and in hospitality of the people of Lot.

Alot of people also quote the Prophet saying that It is wrong, but even they agree that the Prophet never had a legal case of Homosexuality ever. Even today there is a huge homosexual culture in the Arab society, where straight men would rather have sex with a gay man than a woman, before marriage.

I am gay and that is a natural truth to me, I don't recall deciding one day to be gay, I just am. I was miserable before I accepted myself thinking that I deserved all the bad treatment since I was a sinner, but after doing some research of my own I have established that the Quran is neutral towards the issue. Actually it does mention that gay people exist consider this verse.

" And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, ... MALE SERVANTS FREE OF PHYSICAL NEEDS, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. (24:31)

That one part about Male servant free of physical needs clearly acknowledges that there are men in this world who don't feel attraction towards women. That part has also been translated to say "Men who feel no sexual desire (towards women)." I think it could be due to age, illness or even sexuality. So I have concluded that the Quran does acknowledge that I exist and the claim by most Muslims that homosexuals don't exist is based on nothing really. Considering every thing including science I believe that I was born this way and if Allah had wanted me any other way Allah would have made me differently. And since I am not hurting any one by my acts I don't think it is wrong for me to have a healthy monogamous homosexual relationship. Only Allah knows best.

Answer 2

I'm deferring judgement to God. It's not my place to judge.

I wouldn't deny you any rights on Earth.

I will say this, whatever is "wrong" about Homosexuality in the Bible also applies to Heterosexuality outside of Marriage.

There is no Bible precedent for non-heterosexual marriage, however, but some religions are experimenting with it and they have a right to do that and if there is a problem God will handle that also.

The concepts of marriage was explicitly meant for man and woman with the end result being the production of offspring, which I'm sure you have to agree never happens in Homosexual situations and don't give me the adoption or Turkey Baster concept, because the Turkey baster still requries a MALE.

I"m talking about the production of babies in a state of family.

Technically, however, the Bible and God does not give any OFFICIAL statement on Marriage Ceremonies or Formatlities.

Marriage is basically a HUMAN concept based on some loose Biblcal terms.

I support rights granted by any authority, but I pesonally only see marriage as between opposite sexes for the purposes of propegation and the family unit.

I have no problems with contracts and parternships. Like I said everyone should be granted rights.

What we haven't yet seen is Homosexual Divorces. That should be interesting and when Homosexuals find out how much Legal Fees, Spousal Support and Division or Propety is on a MANDITORY court awarded basis, I wonder if they will start seeing things as many women do, who refuse to get married, refused to change their names.

Don't forget, your partner can RUN up the credit card bills, vanish, stick you with the Bills and Bankruptcy and your credit history goes down the tubes while they are off in the KAman Islands jet skiing on something you're credit is paying for.

Answer 3

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I'm equally sorry for the treatment that people like you, and I, get at the hands of those who profess to believe in a "loving" god.

It is these people, and a better understanding of deity that led me away from the Biblian religion.

Years ago, these ersatz Christians taught that since homosexuality didn't exist in nature, it was unnatural. Now that they have been shown that it exists in nature, that fact shows it base and animal. Claiming through time, two contrary positions, they still claim that God is unchanging.

I'll repeat that Christ said NOT ONE WORD regarding homosexuality. (yeah yeah yeah, " I have not come to abolish the law", but it seems that Biblians go through the old testament in a cafeteria fashioin when choosing which laws apply)

In the end, I don't mind Christians. Many of them are quite accomodating and accepting of the spectrum of gender and sexuality in the world. The UCC, for one denomination, with their open and affirming congregations is most friendly. I wish some of the other negative groups could see the light.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss. I wish that people could see love for love. I don't doubt the purity of yours.

Blessings,

--Dee

Answer 4

I haven't formed a cyber relationship other than friendships and no I would not change any of my questions because before I ask them, I think. I try to post all questions so as not to offend anyone.

Answer 5

Homosexuality is completely natural. The knock-down text is Bruce Bagemihl's "Biological Exuberance."

Homosexuality is also not addressed in the Bible -- at all. Why? The Biblical authors had no concept of sexual orientation.

Go to a liberal church and connect with Christians who have figured this out. The UCC, for example, or the Episcopalians.

Answer 6

You dear sweet man.. how noble of you to share your story, knowing full well that these closed-minded, hate-filled christians would throw their chopped up bible verses at you and attack you this way.

There is nothing unnatural in your love for this person, and I am so very very sorry for your loss.

There is no benefit for them other than to pat themselves on the back for "defending the faith".

People fear what they cannot understand, and what they cannot understand, they will attempt to destroy. Their upbringing and brainwashing is what causes this fear.

May you be blessed with a long, HAPPY, healthy life.
Kallan

Answer 7

My faith is a hodgepodge anyway, but I can give you my personal response.

I'm very sorry for your loss. I see nothing unnatural about it. You were born that way, and it must be okay, because God doesn't make mistakes, and anyone saying the way you are is wrong is suggesting that He/She does.

As a straight person, I see no benefit to us whatsoever in rejecting homosexuality, or even same sex marriages. If the lesbians next door get married, does that somehow make my marriage less valid? I don't see how it could, yet there are those who try to claim that very thing.

It doesn't make much sense to me, either.

Answer 8

My father raised me as a christian and I claim to still be one, yet have formed my own opinion of gay's that differ from his. He has a double edged sword view of them, he figures let them live their life but they have no rights because what they are doing is wrong in God's eyes.

Personally, I do not know how God feels about it, and I choose to stick to a non-judgemental point of view. Just because the bible says it, does not make it true. *humans* wrote the bible, who knows how many were actually crazy and were just accepted by the church for their own reasons as actually being talked to by god, we do not know and never will until we die.

There has been many scientific studies that being gay is not a choice, but a biological condition. Of course they say condition, or problem, because it is not the "norm" of every one else. I feel there is nothing wrong with gays being able to marry who they choose, or having the same rights as me. How many men or women that are not gay molest their children? Why does having two gay men raise a boy child make people more fear-full that they will do something like that? because they are gay does not mean they like little boys, *huge* difference there. What is wrong with having your significant other on your health insurance?

There is one part of the bible that I try to live by and it says "let he, who is with out sin, cast the first stone." who was with out sin? only one, and that is Jesus. We are not him and have no right to put words into his mouth.

Answer 9

First you have to understand that you are a spirit. Your body will die and you will continue living.
Your problem is that your body and spirit don´t match (if your body was female, you wouldn´t have a problem). You must have had too many female incarnations, and few male incarnations. Your sexual orientation isn´t a crime. Not even religiously.
If you can, read Allan Kardec's "The Spirits' Book".
Try to be yourself.
Happy new year!

Answer 10

Sorry for your loss and congratulations on finding love and being able to share it with each other no matter how short your time together
at least you both had the courage and openmindedness to be whom you were

only a fool turns away true love