I've never been a religious person and I don't consider my fiance religious either... but he wants a priest to marry us. To me incorporating religion would be uncomfortable, but I also realize this isn't just my day. Any ideas on a compromise?
2006-12-31 10:35:15 · 21 answers · asked by Livia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If he's religious enough to insist on a priest, then he's religious. Or, at least, traditional. Or, he's got a family member who will be upset if there isn't a priest. Has he said why he wants the priest? Knowing this might help you figure out how to approach a compromise.
You might see if he'd be willing to have a Unitarian Universalist preside over the wedding. They are a very open-minded, accommodating denomination and are experienced in doing interfaith weddings. My husband is an atheist and I'm not. We had a very nice ceremony with a UU pastor who helped us to write our own ceremony.
I've been married for 7 years, and I can tell you that this will be only the first of many "uncomfortable" compromises. Might want to get used to it. :^)
2006-12-31 10:44:48 · answer #1 · answered by Torchbug 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
sometimes you have to compromise. you can't have everything your way. marriage must start with respecting each others' needs and ideas. you can have the priest so that it make your fiance happy but maybe you can shorten the process or do it in private with few guests so that it doesn't seem like a big event. if you end up doing it without a priest, that may make you happy but what about your fiance? so talk and you have to give away something and he has to give away something.
2006-12-31 18:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't understand the term incorporating in this. and how would it make you uncomfortable? were you baptised a certain religion? i am not a religious person myself although i was brought up catholic. is your fiance catholic? if so, even though he doesn't practice it, it may be important to him. figure out just what it is that makes you uncomfortable and talk to him about it. clearly, there really isn't an actual compromise.
2006-12-31 18:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sweetheart, his strict religious background is part of him, part of his package that you sign the agreement. Cupcakes, that is why you have some serious talk before committing to someone. Honey, either you put out with his crap or break up with him. This is just the beginning, wait to he has you as a wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-31 22:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him your views ask him how important it is for him. If you really want to marry him go ahead with the priest if he insists to show him that you love him and respect his views. When I was engaged ( no longer though)-me and my ex-fiance discussed that stuff. I told her it was fine for us to have a religious ceremony because it was important for her and it didn't matter to me because it was being married to someone that I loved with all my heart that really mattered.
2006-12-31 18:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by kws504 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Oh, yes, been through that. I am Catholic, and my fiance is Southern Baptist. Or at least that is what he and I were raised. We do not go to church and are not actively involved in our religions, but i still wanted a Mass wedding, but then his evil mother stepped in and said that we needed to have a common religion so we can raise our kids in peace, but then she told me that one of us needs to convert, and since my fiance (her son) will not convert, then i need to convert to Southern Baptist because he is the man and she took her husbands religion (S. Baptist) when she got married. Her husband, my fiance's dad is S. Baptist and she WAS catholic, so i don't see why she is so down on it, but she is all about changing me and said that WE think that you should do it because WE value unity and all that crap she tried to tell me. I was like whatever, i will not convert, because that is not who i am, and i don't expect my fiance to either, so we just said whatever, and said we will get someone neutral who does not know either one of us to marry us. Problem solved.
2006-12-31 18:41:54 · answer #6 · answered by SuzyBelle04 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
If it just makes you uncomfortable, do it.
You love him enough to marry him. Being a little uncomfortable to make your partner happier is never a bad thing.
2006-12-31 18:39:20 · answer #7 · answered by ancientabner 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you aren't Catholic, odds are a priest may not marry you, at least not without taking a course at the church.
2006-12-31 18:46:37 · answer #8 · answered by Jam_Til_Impact 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If he does not attend church regularly, I doubt that he can get a priest to marry you unless you both decide to start going to church. And if so, you will still need to complete 6 months of Pre-Cana classes.
2006-12-31 18:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by margarita 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Getting married is a requirement by God ..... it is therefore a religious process, so deciding to get married is already a compromise on your part.
2006-12-31 18:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by Other sheep 4 · 2⤊ 5⤋