Hello Everyone,
Hope you all have a safe new year. For christmas my husband and I gave my niece a nice summer dress and it wasn't the only gift we gave her. I know it's a summer dress, but my sisters ex-husband made a comment to my sister that it was "a nice summer dress when did they buy it in the summer". We were not present when he made this comment, but my sister mentioned it in front of me and my husband. My husband got upset that my sister even mentioned it he said that she should have kept the comment to herself. My sister and my niece who is a toddler live with my mother and father. Tonight is the dinner in about two hours and my husband doesn't want to attend the dinner and wait for the new year at my mothers house because my sister is there. What do you think I should do? I almost have the ham ready that I promised to take. Please give me some advice.
Thank you.
2006-12-31 10:27:35 · 41 answers · asked by Shorty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He's still smarting and he's best left to what he wants to do. You cannot talk him into it and have him feel good about going. Stop by and then come back home have your evening with him. This seems like a pretty small thing so I would venture to guess there other inconsiderate acts that are bugging him that run deeper thant his one incident.
Good luck.
2006-12-31 10:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Re: the summer dress - personally, I see nothing wrong with purchasing a Christmas present for someone at any other time of year than at Christmas ... doesn't this mean that you are thinking of someone special year-round? The summer dress made you think of your niece and so what if it was purchased six months ago (and can't be used for another six months?) ... I gave my sister some new gardening tools for a present this year which she won't be able to use until the snow melts but she didn't kick up a huge fuss.
Re: tonight's dinner - this is a much tougher situation. I do support your husband's decision to not attend the festivities; however, he really could've given you more notice. Unless something else has been said, why not just go to the dinner solo and take your ham (we're not talking about your hubbie here ...)? Although you and him are a couple, you're not permanently joined at the hip. Explain that your husband wasn't feeling well. Depends on how things go with your sister, you could escape early (to go back home and check on your husband).
Do make a point of talking to your sister about her comment ... just don't do it this evening (tonight is a time to celebrate). If the air isn't cleared, I can easily see resentment growing and you being caught in the middle of a continual argument between your husband and your sister (and this doesn't make for a happy new year, at all!).
2006-12-31 10:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's right. The comment should not have been raised at all with you or your husband. The gift should be given in the spirit of giving and holiday cheer, and there was no reason to say anything about the gift if they did not like it.
However, that is no reason to punish you and your mother. He should try to be the better person and attend, but ignore or avoid your sister and her ex-husband. First of all, if he is an ex, why does he have anything to say about the dress that is relevant to you? Second, people buy summer stuff all the time and give it at Christmas time. It looks better than wearing a snowsuit to the July 4th weekend party.
You can discuss the issue with your sister in the new year, not tonight at the party. She should be aware of the fact that your husband was a bit put off by her ex-husband's comments and the fact that she would even bring them up at some later time.
2006-12-31 10:35:25 · answer #3 · answered by SteveN 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just go yourself and have a good time. If your husband wants to miss out on a good meal because of a thoughtless comment, then that's his business.
But you could tell him your sister's ex is an ex because he is a jerk and your sister was only telling you this because he was trying to hurt her feelings not yours. You and your husband were not the target of his comment, your sister was the target.
As for the summer dress comment, revenge is always nice. Ask the ex what he got for Christmas. If he got golf clubs, a baseball glove, a new fishing pole, a tennis racket etc, say gee when did the giver buy it, in the summer? Then smile and walk away.
2006-12-31 10:37:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah I think it is probably taking it a bit far.. I mean he can order her a dinner to be delivered or something so she doesn't have to cook that night but going there to her house is a little much. Sort of gives the impression that she wants more from him than is currently getting by asking him to be at her house for dinner.. like no need for it as far as I can see.. he shoudl acknowledge her definitely but not to this extent. I personally would be uncomfortable in your situation.
2016-05-23 01:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to stop being a child. Now is NOT the time to throw a fit when you have your ham ready to walk out the door.
Your sister made a mistake. Don't let her problem (dumb big mouth) become your problem. Have a happy evening at your mom's house and remember that your sister has the misfortune of having bad judgement. You guys deserve to have a good time. Go, relax, and enjoy.
2006-12-31 10:33:49 · answer #6 · answered by Savvy Sue 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
oh dear..
I dont know how is their history relationship (husband and your family), however, in my opinion you are both suppoused to be grown up people, try to behave like one, youve already promised the ham and they are expecting it, for the rest of the family sake, try not to make such a big thing of something so small, your sister could have not mean it that way.
Whenever you get a chance alone with your sister, explain that she hurt both of your feelings (yours and your husband) and give her a chance to apollogyze. Remember that your husband and you are a team, stick together and if later either of you feels uncomfortable you can always leave, but at least try to be there for the rest of the people who are expecting you.
good luck and happy new year!
2006-12-31 10:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by luisa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does this happen often? Does your sister irritate your husband? Maybe he just needs a break. Your hubby and the rest of the family aren't always going to get along, and if she puts her foot in her mouth a lot, he's not always going to have the same patience that you have with her. On the other hand, maybe she was just trying to make herself look like the good guy and her ex look like a bad guy.
2006-12-31 10:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he shouldnt get so upset about the gift. the man probable made that comment because he was jelious that the sister liked the gift. besides its the thought behind the gift that counts. go to the dinner and have a good time. leave ur husband home if he wont go. as long as u have a good time.
2006-12-31 10:32:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
His comment re: the dres doesn't seem like a big deal to me, it probably popped out without him thinking, and he's pissed off that now it's been blown out of all proportion. Try to make up over this disagreement and then tell him why it's important to you that you should go to the party. listen to his reasons why he doesn't want to go, then make a compromise between you. if he wants to stay home and have some peace and quiet, then so be it. In which case go on your own and have a good time. If he has time to cool off then things will soon be back to normal.
2006-12-31 10:33:05 · answer #10 · answered by wizard bob 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋