I meet a man last year who has become a great friend to me! We live in different states on opposite sides of the country right now and most of our relationship is on the phone. We talk several times a day, everyday. I have had romantic feelings for him from the start but have put them aside because of the distance, and in an effort to perserve the friendship, he feels the same. Unfortunalty it hasn't stayed completely platonic and in the rare times that we do get to see each other, well... things happen. My problem is, he has a girlfriend. He started dating her after we meet and for a while now has been telling me that he's trying to break up with her without hurting her, I'm not so sure I buy that though. He still spends a lot of time with her and even tells me that she still acts like they are together. I'm planning a job move that would put me really close to him and he has even offered to help me financially. Should I just toss this away and look toward something else?
2006-12-31 10:20:53 · 11 answers · asked by zelanova30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
With as strong of feelings as it sounds like you have, I think I would give him a chance to make things right, ie--breaking up with her. To me, it was understandable him getting a girl friend because it didn't sound like you guys ever saw each other. But now, with you moving close enough to him that you can see each other, give him a chance to decide who he wants--and a timeframe to do it in. Those kind of friendships are hard to toss away completely. If he chooses to stay with her, I WOULD toss it away completely at that point. Good luck.
2006-12-31 10:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by donnabellekc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what u feel is right, we can't tell you who to be with, bc u never know this could be the man of your dreams, and we tell u no, leave him. So do what u feel is right, but be careful bc as you said above, u said he still have a girlfriend, and since yall live too far away from each other he could be lie'n, or he could be telling the truth. But if he is willing to help you move closer to him then MAYBE u should go for it, but always have a backup plan if you get there and find out he is still messing with that girl.
2006-12-31 18:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by xxMiizzCxx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OF COURSE!! Normally I wouldn't tell someone to just move on like that, but in your case please do. This man is leading you on. Granted he may have feelings for you, but he already has realized that this relationship is strictly a "friendship with benefits!!" He tells you these things, but it won't happpen. Once you move closer, he's going to tell you this and that, and you'll be stuck in that city because the only reason you took the job in the first place was for him. Never do anything for a man; do it for yourself. You said it yourself that you don't believe it, and if that's really how you feel, then do it. Move on because you deserve to be happy.
2006-12-31 18:31:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this love situation sounds complicated. if the guy cares about you, he would break up with his girlfriend, give himself some time to get over his girlfriend (depending on how long they were together would determine how much time he'll need) so you're not just "rebound action," and consider giving the relationship a chance. but if you're interested in taking this job, and it seems to be a financially stable job, go ahead and take it.
2006-12-31 18:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by Rebekah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships hardly work. The two parties don't see each other like they want to, and both parties eventually meet someone else close to home. It all comes down to trust and how much both parties are willing to sacrifice for each other.
2006-12-31 18:31:46 · answer #5 · answered by Ultimate Fighter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should I just toss this away and look toward something else?
You have answer your own question, what are you waiting for, this guy is playing with you, have some self respect.
2006-12-31 18:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by Sophia J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel. If I were you I would end it but I don't know how you feel toward him. Since he has a girlfriend he isn't completely devoted to you and everyone deserves someone that loves them unconditionally. I'd say talk to him about it.
2006-12-31 18:26:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet you already know the answer to your question. Sounds like he doesn't really want to break up with her. Don't take his money - you don't want to owe him anything.
2006-12-31 18:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by Urbangirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know the answer to that one
2006-12-31 18:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by dymond 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get sucked in to his b.s. If the job is good, then take it, but don't take his help when all he is during is stringing you along.
2006-12-31 18:24:02 · answer #10 · answered by Angi D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋