Would you be mad if your in-laws always did this?

Question

I sent my girls to church this morning with my sister-in-law and the girls said they were very late to church. When I asked why my daughter told me that they stopped to find her some new tights that were black (instead of white) and to find my other dughter a bigger sweater. (because apparently the one she had on was too small for their liking). They always re-dress my kids when they are with them and it really pisses me off. I don't send my kids out looking bad, but it's never to their standards. Am I making a big deal out of this? My mother in law said to them "don't let your mom send you out like this anymore!"

Answer 1

The best piece of advice I have for you is do not fret over events that have already taken place. Forget about what your in-laws said and did immediately. This does not mean that you must sacrifice though. The easiest solution is not trying to get back at them either. However, you may try and go with them once or twice before sending your girls with them next time and be passive try and watch their interaction with your kids. Sometimes seeing people's intentions and trying to understand the reasons which make them act a certain way can help relieve your worries. It is very understandable on my part that u dont need anyone telling u how to dress your kids or that u r not doing the right thing and so forth. On the other hand elderly people tend to worry so much about their grandchildren, children because they are in a lot of hurry to teach them all they know (off course there are some cooler and more laid back grannys and granpys out there those are almost extinct these days). To cut the story short it is mostly their instinct to make a few corrections here and there so instinctively they feel that they are contributing to their grand children's growth process. It is this mentality that u might want to feel compassionate towards and do not feel so strong or act negative because I'm sure they want the best for the girls as much as you do. It is just they are not clever enough to gain your sympathy while doing it but you could do what they are not doing and act as if they are awesome; after all they will never get to spend as much time w your kids as you are and you will. If it gets super unbearable then maybe the last option can be sitting down with them and talking to them in a very comforting tone about how you think about the whole situation. If they still do not change (it is very likely they wont) then again you must realize that you very so much younger and have greater capacity & flexibility to cope with this than they may if say you lash out on them and etc. It would only make them feel very bad and they would forever not forgive your rudeness. (So good luck and always hope for the best).

Answer 2

There is a way here that will be easy enough to pull off--Call on Sat. afternoon and ask the sister/mother in law to keep the girls for the night and take them to church--that the girls don't like being late--and if they stay with them then they can supply the clothing they want the girls to wear to begin with--it saves you money and they are happy --also the next time the girls need anything (to wear) you need to call Ask the in laws to come get the girls and go shop (on their dollar) because they are not happy with your choices and instead of being insulted with rude comments to your girls they need to just have the honor of the shopping from now on--Oh show them this if you would like--

Answer 3

Parents-in-law from hell? No, dear!!! Take it easy, it doesn't happen to many, I hope. But personally, take it easy. Yes, the stress is there with people like them around, not seeing that they are so unfeeling towards their daughter-in-law. But look on the bright side, they are old and may not have many more years with their grandchildren..

To stop this from happening all the time, leave your kids more often with them. What happens if you leave the kids with them for a week, would the children get a free wardrobe? If they do, wow, what overwhelming in-laws.

Answer 4

That would be upsetting! You need to have a calm discussion with your inlaws and tell them that they need to not send you messages through your children. They are making the children feel inadequate and self conscious when they survey them and pick out things that aren't right about them. It sounds like they are very concerned with appearances and what others at church might think about them if everything wasn't perfect. Tell them if they are going to do things like that, you will take them to church yourself or find someone else!

Answer 5

I would have a talk w/them. Tell them that if they can not respect your wishes as to how you dress your girls then they won't be able to take your girls w/them. My ex in laws tried that. All it will take is one time and they should quit. Stand your ground....they are your children. As for the mother in law, I would tell her never to speak to my children like that again. Kids should not be put in the position that she is putting them in. Good Luck.

Answer 6

What I suggest you do is talk to your husband and let him know what the deal is with your inlaws, it is not their place or their right to criticize how you dress your children, but since your husband is the one with the blood relation he is the one who needs to talk to them about this otherwise things will be blown out of proportion. Another thing to do is set boundaries with your husband about how much your inlaws are involved in your lives, for her to say something like that shows that she is getting too comfortable becoming the family critic, it is emotionally draining so make sure that your husband does have a talk with them. good luck

Answer 7

it would piss me off highly. but at same time I'd not say any thing about it. because the joke is really on them. hey you are saving money, and Kidd's getting new cloths, and it is costing them cash for butting in. one of the best place's to hit some one, and hurt them is in their pocket book. the Kidd's will see thru the crap in given time. just don't bad mouth the in-laws around the Kidd's. let the Kidd's form their own opinion, and in given time they will speak up on their own. what better revenge you can get by making them spend their own money like that, and the Kidd's forming their own opinion.

Answer 8

It might be disrespectful, but to keep peace, just leave it. Unless they are billing you for the things they bought, think of it as getting their money out of them the easy way. Let them buy the kids all they want, its their money, and not costing you anything but a few hurt feelings. ( And as they are ex-family, they are purposefully trying to do that, dont let it get to you.)

Answer 9

Tell the old bat that there's no point in taking them to church if she is gonna criticize you to them. It confuses the children to go to church and hear the message of love and then be subjected to cruelty.

Answer 10

Yes! Time to have a serious talk with your sister in law, or is it your mother in law? Not sure.
She is NOT their parents and she is NOT your mother.
Have it AWAY from the children. It should be a very heated discussion.