How do you say no?

Question

so..there is this guy and he says that he "loves me," and i know that i reaally l really like him, but how do i know if he really does like me(we are not a couple)?...when ever we are alone together at his house or at the park alone at night he always wants to touch, hold, and kiss me (sometimes he tries or asks me if i want to have sex with him, but im a virgin and i'm not ready...im 14and he is 17)...i want to be with him and all but i dont know how to say "no" without being mean or forceful..how do i tell him that i don't really like it when people are touching me (he is a really touchy-feely guy, the problem is that i'm not...i don't really like being touched) how do i tell him that without being rude, saying "no"........?

Answer 1

Its not wrong to say no. And if he "loves" you he will understand. You're 14 for heavens sake, why do you have a boyfriend. Go ride you bike!

Answer 2

I know how you feel because im goin through somethin juss like you only we're in a relationship...im 15 and my boyfriend is 16 goin on 17 in the summer...im sitll a virgin too..and hes the freaky type..i mean he's really freaky...we were talkin one day and i asked him what he wanted for christmas and he said you....and by you he meant havin sex....and i was lik i dont think im ready for that and he understood me..he told me before i told him i wasnt ready, that he actually didnt think i was ready either but wanted to make sure.......so if hes understandin about other things maybe he'll be understandin about you not bein ready for that....and if he dont wanna hear that maybe you should leave him alone and maybe juss become friends..and try to find someone else thats on yo level....mentally physically and emotionally.......so i hope what i just told you helps

Answer 3

Just come out and tell him that you're not a touchy feely person. And also tell him that you're not ready for sex. Stay strong. If he doesn't talk to you anymore, that's all he wanted was sex. Once he's done with high school, he may not want to hang out with you anymore. He maybe just trying to use you.

Answer 4

Just tell him that you like him as friends but you aren't ready for sex yet. I think that you are right in not wanting to do that. Sex is an important decision to make with someone and especially at your age you don't want to have a baby and then not be able to fulfill your education before you have a family.

Answer 5

Just tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him being like that (touchy feely). If he loves you like he says he does, he'd respect your decision beause that's what people who love you do, they listen to you. He needs to give you time and you n eed to wait on the sex because if you two aren't together then there's no point in having sex. I waited a year to have se\x with my boyfriend and we're still together. It's worth the wait.

Answer 6

Oh, god, sweetie! You're 14! The best way to say no is to just say it. Tell him that you are too young to worry about getting pregnant, and that there is only one way to avoid that. If he loves you and truly respects you, he'll wait until you are ready. I lived through this when I was 15, and my boyfriend forced me to have sex with him. I have regretted not saying no ever since then. Please please please...if he won't respect you or your decisions, stop hanging out with this guy. There are lots of boys out there that will, and you don't need the stress of that kind of decision right now. Enjoy high school, enjoy your friends...don't fall prey to a 17 year old boy that can't respect you or your virginity enough to keep his hands or his lips to himself.

Answer 7

Just say it. it is YOUR body you have the right to decide what YOU do with it. If he is 17 and you are only 14 he could be close to getting his butt into trouble...when he turns 18 he will be an adult, you will still be considered a child (minor) and if anything happens between you and him he can wind up in jail anyway. If he doesn't leave you alone tell your parents.

Answer 8

Just tell him that.. you have a problem with people touching you. tell him that it kind of freaks you out. Even if you have to tell him that it is a problem of yours and you have had it for a long time.....Do It!!!! If he respects you he should understand. But if he tryes forcing it on you more than i think you should get over this guy and find another one! Which can be hard but no women i have ever met, likes a pusher!

Answer 9

Well you have to stick up for yourself, and you don't have to be mean or rude either. You explain just like you did here, you say "I'm too young and I'm not ready for all this physical touching and stuff, and if you can't respect my need for more space and the fact that I'm young and uncomfortable with all the touching, then I guess we won't be seeing much of each other." It's very very simple. I was young once, and I wanted to please people, and I gave up on what I wanted in an effort to please my boyfriend.....and I regret it. So stick to your guns!

Answer 10

Well there's touching, and there's groping, think i spelled that right lol, but I can see maybe holding hands, or even hugging and cuddling, but if he's touching you, just be like hey, whoa, too fast, im not ready for that yet, lets just make it simple and not to intimate, if he doesnt understand, he just wants in your pants. trust me, im your age, and i attend a near by college often and i get these kina guys often, just stay away if u dont feel right. good luck, :)

Answer 11

He is to old for you. He is trying to pressure you into having sex and eventually he will win. Be mature and recognize that you are out of your league age wise. You need to be with a 15 year old boy. Don't let the relationship with this 17 year old go on. He is much to old for you.