I have 2 kids that I get once a week. They do not enjoy coming over to our place. I talked to there mother and she forces them against there will. What can I or the kids do? What are our rights when it is court ordered?
2006-12-31 07:29:19 · 17 answers · asked by A&A L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ok people, the question was WHAT ARE THERE RIGHTS not what should i say to them. and it is TOTALLY not true in todays day and age that because they are under 18 they have no rights!!!!!
Because it is a court ordered visitation OBVIOUSLY there was an underlying situation to begin with people DUH!!!!
anyway, there rights are spoken for by their mother at this point and if u say she "forces" them. then it is up to you, if you'd rather see the kids happy report it to teh family court. explain the situation to them. at most they investigate a little and if need be , amend the court order accordingly.
*** to the poster this applies to--- - is that what you got from this , that he doesnt want them? cause i got... a dad who is concerned for his kids happiness even if its hard, hurtful or makes him seem like the bad guy for a while! maybe u should RE read the question! ***
2006-12-31 07:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by Emotional F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what exactly your doing together as a family when they do come over (sitting around at your house doing nothing is not much fun). You have to find things to do at your home and outside your home (you only see them once a week, make it count). Ask them what they would like to do, kids ages makes a big difference in what is fun and what is lame and they change their minds constantly. Talk to them and really listen to them (you may have to ask a lot of questions to get them talk) Let them know you really love them and love having them visit. Tell them that even though it's only once a week this time means a lot to you and you want to part of their lives.
Another reason could be the mother, she may be saying things to them about you (small hints, sound of her voice when you phone or pick them up). She may manipulate them into believing that visiting you is hurting her (loyalty to the mother). Don't get your children involved by questioning what their mother tells them about you, they are smarter than you think. They will eventually realize that what their mother has told them were lies or half truths, let them figure it out or you will lose them forever.
Keep them in your life as much as possible and don't give up, ensure you have your visits (court ordered if necessary) and above all make them count and learn all about the days you missed out on.
2006-12-31 16:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out the reason they dont want to come. Then work from there. If its just because they are bored, think of something entertaining to do. If they are scared, find out why. We cannot answer for them, they are the ones who know.
I did notice you said "coming over to OUR place." Is there a step parent involved? Is that the possible reason? if so, take the kids to the park by yourself, etc. find out the reason before you lose the love of your children.
contrary to an earlier statement, they CANNOT decide when they are 13 or any other age except 18 when they are adults. At the age of 13 (different in each state) they are considered old enough to talk to a judge, who will then decide. Not the child, the Judge.
2006-12-31 21:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by joy q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine your ex-wife is enforcing your kids to come over because of the order, that way you can't come back and say "she never lets me see my kids". Question is, why do your kids not want to come see you? Maybe you could try and make there visit more enjoyable by taking them to the park, or to the movies, how about lunch or dinner. It's hard to give you some advice on what you can do without knowing how old your kids are. If it's a legal issue, contact your attorney. If you left your ex-wife for someone else, maybe your kids are upset with you and that's why they do not want to visit. Whatever the case, it will take some time for everyone to come around. Good-Luck.
2006-12-31 16:06:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am I understanding this question? You get your kids once a week but they don't want to come to see you? You want to let the kids stay with their Mother and not see you? Well this is different. Tell their Mother you don't want the kids to come for their visitation.Ask her to take you to court to force you to take the children for visits..While in court you can tell the Judge that you don't want your visitation and the kids don't want to visit you either.I am sure the Judge won't make you and the children see each other. But first are you sure you don't want to see your children? You may be doing this because you don't want to cause any problems and it may be hard on you to hear the kids say they don't want to see you but years down the line you could be sorry for this decision.The kids grow up all to quick. Think this over. Maybe you could get into family counseling.
2006-12-31 15:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE DECIDE TO JOIN THIS FORUM, THEN THEY LIE! WHY BOTHER???
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2006-12-31 18:00:07 · answer #6 · answered by grahamma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one.
Do your best to try to find out why your children don't enjoy visiting you. Their mother should not be forcing them. That's only going to build up more resentment towards both you and their mother. Talk to a lawyer to see if things can be changed.
It's not in the best of the children to be put through this type of situation.
2006-12-31 15:47:42 · answer #7 · answered by Barry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could ask the court for modification & stop the visitation (it won't get you out of paying support & may actually increase it) Hope that's not your motivation.
What is it about your home/lifestyle that makes your kids feel unwelcome? You said "our" place. Is the new live-in gf or wife treating them poorly with or without your knowledge? (find out!) What are you doing to make sure they have a good time when w/you? If they are being forced I can understand why you wouldn't want to make them visit. But you only get 1 chance to be a parent, don't screw it up! Please feel free to look up my ? for today. Maybe you'll learn something.
2006-12-31 15:42:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Rather than challenging the court order, why not try to make it work. Afterall it is in the children's best interest to have regular contact with their father.
If they don't enjoy being in your home, then change your home to make it theirs as well. Make it inviting to them. If you have a girlfriend ask her to give you private time with them at first, her prescence may be making the kids uncomfortable.
Or try taking them out. Make it a special time for them when they come to see you. Visit museums, the zoo, an aquarium, a fun zone, a restaurant they like or a park.
The point here is BONDING. You're their father, if you don't fight for them who will?
2006-12-31 15:37:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your lawyer/attorney.
Get back into see the judge EXPLAINING the ENTIRE situation.
Have your CHILDREN talk with the judge and a counselor/psychologist/social worker about this matter. IMMEDIATELY GET into FAMILY Counseling!!!
Something is going on here. Either with the KIDS/MOTHER/YOURSELF! Either she is saying things to the kids or they are afraid of you & your house!
What about your parents - the kids grandparents? Can they shed some light on the situation? Find out what is going on with your kids?
2006-12-31 15:55:49 · answer #10 · answered by jennifersuem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋