My friend and her fiance happen to be my son's godparents. They are also family...her fiance is my husband's cousin. They are getting married next January...we're in the wedding and they want our son, who will be 2 1/2 to be the ring bearer.
My husband and I decided that we don't want our son in the wedding because he will be too young and we just want to enjoy ourselves at the wedding. He was also asked to be in my sister in law's wedding and we told her no...she didn't have a problem.
The problem is that my friend is being a total bridezilla and won't take no for an answer. She tells me that she only wants him in the ceremony and that my mother can come pick him up afterwards. I don't want my mother to go out of her way to come get my son. Plus, I already told my sister in law that he wasn't going to be in her wedding. If my sister in law finds out that he's in my friend's and not hers, then there will be some unnecessary family drama.
What should I do?
2006-12-31 07:19:30 · 12 answers · asked by qtpie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Obviously some people who responded probably DON"T have children...
Does anyone realize what we have to do so she can have my son in a 1/2 hour ceremony?
We have to pay for my dress (we're in the wedding) and my husband's tux as well as my son's tux.
I also don't know how my son will be behaving that day. What if he runs down the isle screaming his head off? What if he doesn't cooperate? Excuse me for wanting her wedding to not have that problem...
I guess I should have mentioned that ever since we told her no, they have not come over and have been acting cold to us. I mean come on...how immature is that?
I guess that I sort of thought a parent's decision was final and there would be no arguing about it.
2007-01-01 05:31:02 · update #1
And by the way, if she told me that he wasn't invited, then I would be totally fine with it...solving this whole problem.
2007-01-01 05:34:11 · update #2
Stick to your guns and tell her NO.
She will just have to deal with it.
2006-12-31 07:22:42 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
My nephew was 2 1/2 when he was in my brother's wedding. He wasn't disruptive during the reception or a hand full to take care of. Everyone loved having him there. I don't think the bride is being a bridezilla - she is showing that she cares for your son, her godson. Why should you take away from the bride's day so that you can enjoy HER wedding? This day is her day, and it wouldn't be much trouble to let your son take part in it. Besides, how much fun will you have if she is mad at you for not letting your son join in the festivites?
And while you're at it, let him be in your sister-in-law's wedding too. You're being selfish - a parentzilla; these brides are showing their love for your son, and you're putting your own partying concerns first.
2006-12-31 22:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
YOU are the parent. And YOU decide what you want for your baby son. End of story. If she chooses to make drama, advise her firmly. IFshe does NOT accept your advisement, then you and your husband do NOT need to be a part of her wedding party.
There is plenty of time to make changes NOW, rather than down the road. She may be the bride, who makes 'requests' of others
....NOT demands. And YOU have all the say in YOUR immediate family.....NOT her.
2006-12-31 16:45:59 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell them they need to honor your answer and accept he will not be in the wedding. Suggest some other children that could be ring-bearer so she could go ask them. If she has a problem with that, she is just being selfish. You are his mother and she needs to respect your decision.
2006-12-31 17:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
All three of my kids were in weddings at that age and it wasn;t that stressful at all - but you have to make that call.
Remember, this is one of the most important days of her life, and she wants to spend it with those who are close to her - which includes your son. No matter what you do - keep in mind that her persistance is proof that your son is important to her - if not, she'd have just found someone else anyway.
2006-12-31 15:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by Chrys 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I just find it funny that you could ask them to be godparents of your child, but when they ask to have him in their wedding you cant do that for them. no wonder she wont leave it alone. your being stubborn.
If your expecting to hear a certain response and are going to freak out if you dont get it then dont post in here. I'm sorry that I believe its not right of you to ask them to be godparents, but then turn around and say he cant be in the wedding. thats like her saying "sure, I'll be godmother but if something were to ever happen to you and hubby then the kids on his own cuz I'm not taking care of him. Do you know the cost and what I would have to do?" I bet she wouldnt do that to you.
2006-12-31 19:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you said your own answer - tell your friend that as much as you are flattered that you want our son in your wedding, i just can't do it. we feel he is too young and we have said this to my sister in law, who, also, wanted him in her wedding - so, if i say no to one, i have to say no to all. i'm sorry, but this is something that my husband and i feel very strongly about and nothing is going to change our mind. i hope you understand. (remember this is your child and you have the right to say yes or no in what he does) good luck.
2006-12-31 15:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
omg u are such a horrible person, ur saying that he cant be in the ceremony cuz u wont enjoy urself? ur mom cant pick him up , cuz why, she may need to actually drive her car there? wow ur reasons are petty all the ppl that agreed with u are just doing it to calm u down ur the 1 being a *ZILLA* u r 2 petty, her wedding will be special and she wants to have him be part of that, did u ever think that that they feel he is just perfect to be part of that?, cuz let me tell u if she didnt want him in the ceremony you would probably find a way to harass her about it. be nice be kind, and remember that its just for like what 40 minutes?, and ur mom can take him home after wards.
2006-12-31 16:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by Zoen M 1 · 1⤊ 5⤋
if you don't want him to be in the wedding then say no, but i dont see why you are so against it. they want your son to be part of their important day. when i get married, i'd like my godson to part of it, and would feel offended if his parents told me no.
2006-12-31 16:06:24 · answer #9 · answered by strtat2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good luck. It is your child, your expense for the clothing that he will haved to wear. No means no.
2006-12-31 15:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by Brat 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋