Ok. Here is the deal. We are both very very different but she is always trying to compete against me for the love, attention, etc. of my mother and father in law, they have realized this (which calms me to a certain extent). I have tried to be her friend and when we are alone she acts like a normal human being, but when everyone else is present she starts to try to outshadow me and it sucks, she even had to get the present I got for Christmas from my inlaws because she got extremely jealous. What would you do in such a situation? Any advice from someone who has lived a similar situation is greatly appreciated.
2006-12-31 07:04:39 · 11 answers · asked by White 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm afraid telling her to go to hell won't solve the issue.
2006-12-31 07:08:42 · update #1
Clearly she is insecure, self-centered, and very difficult to like. I have found that it is unnecessary to do anything in a situation like this-- time will make it apparent to everyone what she is like.
You should (always!) just try to be the best person you can be, be as compassionate as you can, and don't let her behavior bother you. After all, how can she hurt you?
No one can out shadow you-- love and family should never be a competition. Those whose love is worth having, WILL love you-- those who can be manipulated for their attention aren't worth worrying over.
Be absorbed in GIVING love--- don't worry over who is getting more love back, you or her. I assure you, the more you give, the more you will receive...but by the giving, you will be too happy to care about 'portions'.
2006-12-31 07:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Rani 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that you are treating her as an outsider, and that you might be seeing things a little out of context in regards to her "outshadowing" you shes probably seeing that shes got alot to "live up to" especially if you and your inlaws are as close as you make it. Give it time, and dont let her get to you, you're just being a bit insecure, dont take it personally everyone has those moments, but just like an only child, sometimes you got to make room for a new member of the family.
2006-12-31 12:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She sounds tousled. attempt to sit down down together with her and have a communication. Be common and tell her the type you experience. Ask questions that are unanswered. tell your in regulations what you will do. They sound help of you yet, did they purchase her an analogous present as you? if so because it extremely is barely making the issue worse. She seems to be a manipulitive. Watch your back. good success in this count.
2016-10-06 06:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by cosco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the high-road, man. As you said, everyone notices her behavior. You might try laughing at her when she acts this way. It will probably annoy her a bit, and when she gets mad say, "Susan, (or whatever her name is)--I love you!!!" Just kill her with kindness and she will see she's being an idiot---eventually.
2006-12-31 07:28:45 · answer #4 · answered by A T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is insecure I suspect and sees you as a threat to her. If you do things to help her build up her own self esteem perhaps she won't have to try to get that from you.
2006-12-31 07:18:07 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do nothing! You allow her to continue making an *** of her self. You said they acknowledged her shortcoming. Nothing else to do but be your self and humble down. Clowns always stand out. To kill her is to step back and become humble and be you.
2006-12-31 07:10:55 · answer #6 · answered by animatelifeforce 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd ignore her and be convinced that she has the mannerisms of a pesky flea and the IQ of a gnat.
2006-12-31 08:07:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your christmas at a serperate time. She is obviously very insecure. Take your gift back and get something else.
2006-12-31 07:21:34 · answer #8 · answered by northville 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
find a new circle of influence and leave her alone, she has to justify her own actions, or her own demons on her own.
2006-12-31 08:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Aaron J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me she is a drama queen, do nothing but be yourself, and her antics will get her in trouble on her own
2006-12-31 07:28:09 · answer #10 · answered by lilmissblossom 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋