i am currently a wife of a united states enlisted security forces officer with the air force.
he abandoned me at a hospital four months pregnant, i have not seen him expect for chance meetings in public with his new live in girlfriend.
i have received no financial aid and need to know my rights. i have contacted the first shirt and base commander, nothing has been done. i know my rights and i know i am entitled to the difference between single pay and what he receives claiming us as dependants, but nothing is being done to uphold that.
does anyone know what steps i can take to make sure he provides for our son? he helped to make him after all.
he is using the money we could use on diapers and food to put rims and tires on his SVT focus. this guy is a dirt bag and needs to learn what responsibility is.
2006-12-31 06:17:35 · 17 answers · asked by brandylyn_kay 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
There is a lot of good advice in here but not all is correct. I am in the Security Forces and here is what I know. I have walked down this road also. First thing, the First Sergeant and Commander will not get involved in this situation. If you are in the states then you need to contact a civilian family lawyer off base. Base legal can only give you information on divorce law and names/phone numbers of lawyers off base. They can not and will not give you legal advice.
If you are still married to him legally than he has to provide support in the form of food and shelter. If you have access to his bank account then pull out the money. If he has locked you out of the account and has not given you any money then you need to show documentation. If he gives you money, write down what day and at what time he gave you the money and for how much. Because when you go in front of a judge and he said he gave you money you will be able to say on what day, time and how much he gave you. In addition you should have a third person present when he gives you money. That way he can not lie and you can not lie either. I say this because the court will side with the person they believe is telling the truth.
Second, when you talk to the lawyer tell him that he is living with another woman. This could help you later when it comes down to a custody battle. However, most states have a no fault law which will disreguard adultry. In addition, if his girlfriend is active duty military then she can get into a lot of trouble. I say this because she is violating the Uniform Code of Military Justice. IF, she is military and you can prove that she is sleeping/living with a married man than you can have her charged. You can do this by bringing the information to you lawyer and ask him to inform her First Sergeant and or Commander. I would say for you to go to Security Forces Investigation section but I don't think you would trust them to handle the case.
In short, best advice is to get yourself a lawyer now! If you don't want to live with him then get a divorce.
By the way....where is this guy stationed? I have been a cop for 12 years and I might know someone there.
2006-12-31 07:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by Raptork9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Army the process is not that different. Suspect a Chaplain can open the doors: Army Community Services office does seem to deal with this all to often: Family Assistance Programs
are in place for all needs.
He is in serious violation if he is neglecting his son, he has stepped "over the line". Hope you have a valid "ID" card but the advise is enough. His career may be consider in many ways toast. If still married all benefits apply.
"The Army Family Advocacy Program installation manager and the Chaplain have information and support available for married couples who are experiencing difficulty. The aim is marital enrichment and connection to a support network."
The Air Force has the same programs.
His actions reflect poorly on his position, rank and the Air Force,
and you were "let down" by his failure to have you linked to the
available resources when you first became a military spouse.
All military spouses need to become active in their Community Services programs as soon as they become members of the military "family".
My best hopes that all soon starts to work out.
2006-12-31 06:53:58 · answer #2 · answered by cruisingyeti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drive down to his battalion commanders office and request to talk to him in person. Believe it will fix things fast. He has to give 40% - 60% of his check I think. Not too positive on the actual numbers. I take it you are not in base housing? After seeing the Battalion Commander go to the base legal. Go about 7:30 in the morning so as not to be there all day. If you have been married for more than 10 years while he has been in the military you get 50% of his retirement. Also he can be charged with adultery. But if he gets charged they are probably going to take money from him. But if he has the support money for you put into an allotment then it won't affect you getting your money it just may take him longer to pay his money back to the military. Good Luck!
2006-12-31 07:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by erin c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are married to him, the military legal arm will do it's part to protect you and your rights.
Speak to the legal office. His commanding officer has no jurisdiction on that kind of matter. The legal office will help with divorce proceedings and child support.
Now, if for some reason, the legal office won't, then speak to a civilian attorney. One way or another, you will get what's yours.
ps: it will help if you have evidence that he has a live-in girlfriend. Is he staying at her place? How do you know? If you can some way show that he is cheating on you, that is punishable, and he will go to court martial (that's the name of it in the Navy anyways), and get thrown in a military jail, lose pay, rank, etc. That would really get the dirtbag. I hate scum.
2006-12-31 06:35:38 · answer #4 · answered by powhound 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you have called his first shirt and the base commander but have you called LEGAL? You need to PHYSICALLY go to the legal office and speak with somone there. If you been a military wife for any amount of time than you would know that things in the military happen faster in person than over the phone.
2006-12-31 06:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by mustangsally76 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact a lawyer, either through the legal office or the phone book. He is committing adultery, that is punishable by the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Make sure you have a copy of your marriage license as well as your military I.D. with you. Bottom line: find a lawyer. You have legal recourse here.
2006-12-31 06:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by ailolyen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't contact the military! That is the first mistake, I am a former Army wife and I had to learn the hard way. They will sit on it, and never give you anything because they of course have to look out for the person that is enlisted. hire a paralegal.. and they will get you your money- you will get child support, and since he is not taking responisbly all the back pay is given to you.. If you can prove he still has you on his "payroll" he can even loose rank, and he will have to pay back all that.. Thats what happended to me.. Any more advice, please feel free to write to me I am a paralegal also .
2006-12-31 08:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by just_acali_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may need to get a lawyer on this, since the base commander hasn't responded. Military commanders seem to have difficulty dealing with domestic issues, maybe it's because so many military personnel have difficulty in marriage, including commanding officers.
2006-12-31 06:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your rights are the same as civilian parents. Go to civilian court and get a custody, visitation and child support judgement. Pray he stays in the military so he can keep up with health insurance and child support garnishment.
The base legal office is for HIM, not you. Now that he's left you, you're no longer one of them. That was a very rude awakening for me. The base chaplain was helpful though.
2006-12-31 06:26:17 · answer #9 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are entitled to BAH and child support. The military does NOT recognize separations though. Only divorces. You may want to contact your installation commander if your husbands COC wont help. ALso contact ACS .
2006-12-31 07:19:20 · answer #10 · answered by mpwife_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋