how to break this habit?

Question

Ok so here's the deal about me. I'm on medicine for depression and for the most part things are going well. As of this past summer I am a born again Christian and I believe it's one of the best decisions I've ever made for myself. However, there is a problem that are keeping me from living the life I want to and I could use some advice.
I'm a social drinker and every time I do it I hate myself for it....I feel like a failure and a hypocrite because I say I don't agree with drinking and the people who do it but then I end up doing it myself....I don't know what to do about it anymore...plus, tonight is New Years Eve and both of my potential plans involve people who will be drinking...I don't want to sit at home tonight, but I really want to stop drinking and actually mean it this time.

Answer 1

You must be saying that you think all drinking is wrong. Is that correct? If so, you probably shouldn't spend time with drinkers while they're drinking -- at least not until you're strong enough to abstain on your own.

It's a little too late to be trying to find an answer for this problem on New Years Eve -- either you'll go with your friends, or you won't. Either you'll drink, or you won't. You don't leave room for any other options.

Do you know any non-drinkers? Maybe from church? What are they doing tonight? If you don't have non-drinking friends, make some.

And for the long term, you might want to think about whether you really do believe drinking alcohol is always wrong. In reality, it isn't, though being drunk usually is. Just my 2 cents.

---

I thought about it a bit more, and I came up with this idea: make a firm decision, like "I will NOT drink tonight." Write it down. Make an inner commitment to it. Tell someone you know about it. Ask that person for a favor: you want her to punish you if you come home and have been drinking. Yes, punish! You get to think up a punishment for yourself. It should be something serious enough that you really don't want it to happen. Like maybe, she'll give your favorite dress to a charity shop or something. A real sacrifice for you. Write down the punishment, give it to your friend, and get her to agree to punish you if you drink. Then go out tonight, have a good time, drink some lemonade and come home happy.

This will work. I guarantee it.

Answer 2

I am born again also and you have asked one of the major questions we struggle with and that is ... what do we do with the things which hold us back from fully serving Jesus.
First pray for the Holy Spirit to replace that desire with a wholesome desire.
Second quit kicking yourself for falling short of the mark.
We are born again, we've been rescued from death, but we are not immediately perfect. God is molding you and this is part of the molding.
Third recognize that this is part of becoming mature. Therefore like any other bad habit you wish to quit you have to get real about the will to quit then set into the motion the most positive tactics which will help you achieve success.
If you absolutely must go out tonight... take your own soda with you, order seltzer water with lime twist.
If you are really struggling with alcohol and quitting it may be a good time to go to an AA meeting and see if you meet the criteria.
The reason I say this is that most social drinkers don't have a problem saying I'm done drinking period. So it may be that you should take a look at whether you really are a "social" drinker or maybe it is an area that you may need outside help to get it out of your life.

Answer 3

You already have it halfway licked. Just admitting to the problem is a great plus. One important thing to remember is you are a human, (Well, I'm assuming you're human.) Humans do make mistakes, (any doubts about this, look at what's in the white house.) It is much easier to give in than it is to abstain. I used to drink AT LEAST a 12 pak of beer every night. I would not go to bed until the last beer was drank. Unfortunately, it was a big reason for a divorce. I just stopped drinking Sept. 28, 2004, haven't wanted any since. Too late though. The wife is now with somebody else, my kids are now old enough to be on their own. But I will pay the price for the rest of my life. All my dreams of growing old with a great wife and family are now just a dream. If this helps just one person to stop drinking, then I will be pleased. Good luck to you, just be strong and think of the consequences drinking can have.

Answer 4

They say it takes 30 days to make a habit stick. I'm a Christian too (born again), and find nothing wrong with an occasional glass of wine or beverage. However, if you're consuming alcohol to the point of losing control, being drunk, or it becoming a problem in any way, then obviously there needs to be a change.

Personally I prefer not to drink since it's like a poison to me (I suffer from migraines). I constantly turn down alcohol by telling people that. Some people make fun of me, that's ok, they're not the ones that will suffer the consequence of a migraine headache by consuming the alcohol. Likewise, you either need to drink in moderation (if you can do so without the guilt), or choose to refrain (and deal with the peer pressure). If you suffer from a dependency issue, then you may wish to consider a program through your medical insurance (ask your doctor), combined with a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous.

Or make your New Year's resolution:

My NOW Year's resolution, starting NOW (why wait til the new year?) you're not drinking any alcohol & tell your friends you would appreciate their support. Simply drink virgin drinks. Voila!

Best wishes & Happy New Year!

Answer 5

I think in AA they have a saying...People Places and things. which means to keep yourself strong by staying away from tempting situations. Stay away from people places and things that will tempt you. You are only human and you need a lot of support and it sounds like tonight there is going to be temptation all around you. You might want to give yourself a break for tonight since you so want to go with the plans you have. Perhaps limit yourself to one or two drinks. If you think you can't do this maybe it's best to find another plan. Somewhere where the people won't be drinking and there won't be any alcohol to tempt you.

Answer 6

Jesus drank too darling... But then again, he didn't take psych meds so...

It's one or the other?

The guilt you experience comes from knowing that you are doing something that you are not supposed to be doing.

Illiminate the thing... and the guilt goes away.

As a wise man once said... "You can't have your cake... and eat it too."

Problem solved... You're welcome!

If you want to actually hear the truth or not will decide what happens next for you... I really think that the biggest shame is in the fact that you actually feel that you need to drink to be socially acceptable. I think you sound perfectly charming... You're not drunk right now are you?

If you are being treated for depression as a result of Bi polar disorder... It is common for someone with this disease to talk themselves in and out of doing what is wrong or right by rationalizing it to the point of negating it... It is a manipulative way of giving yourself an excuse to fall right back into old habits when the healing process becomes too hard or uncomfortable to deal with.

Chose your battles darling girl... It is after all only alcohol. The actual problem, seems to me that you are looking for excuses to not do what you have to do to get better... Being better isin't always fun... but neither is life in general. Sometimes we just have to face life, grow up and deal!

Answer 7

Is your church having a New Years party? Or try to find friends who believe the same as you. It is hard to make these kinds of changes and we all need help sometimes. I don't know how much or often you drink, but you may want to consider AA. You don't have to be a "hard-core alcoholic" to need help. There are on-line groups that can help so that you don't actually have to walk into a meeting. Also, don't beat yourself up when/if you backslide. Part of being a Christian is realizing that none of us are perfect and that if God can forgive you, you need to forgive yourself too. Just keep trying to be the best YOU that you can. Also, drinking alcohol is not necessarily a sin (depending on your denomination), it is keeping all things in moderation that is important.

Answer 8

It's perfectly okay to drink socially. As long as you control it and it does not control you. Maybe you can join a less stringent branch of Christianity. No need to hate yourself for having a little vice. Life is about seeking wisdom. I think maybe being born again and you are not the best fit. Try something else. If that doesn't work you can always be born again, again.

Answer 9

Listen, if you're going to hate yourself for it (and you know you will), then don't do it. It is a choice. It will better for you to sit home alone than to let temptation get the most of you, and you suffer in the long run because of it.

Everyone is faced with temptation. That is not a sin to be tempted to do stuff. But the sin is giving in to temptation. Jesus was tempted by Satan many times. (Matthew 4:1-11) But he didn't give in.
The trials and temptations in our lives strengthen our faith and ourselves. Everytime there is a trial or temptation in front of you, and you overcome it without giving in or breaking down, it brings you to a new level spiritually. It becomes easier to overcome it the next time.
So, what do you do if you're sure you will give in? Don't let yourself be caught in a situation where you will be tempted. But, sooner or later, you will have to eventually strengthen yourself, and go to these parties, and not give in. Otherwise, you will not be strong enough to overcome the temptation.
My advice to you tonight : If you think that you can go to this place and overcome the temptation, go.
If you know that you won't be able to overcome the temptation tonight, then don't go.

You can do it..I know you can! I'll be praying for ya!

"I can do all things through
Christ who strenghens me." Phillipians 4:13

Answer 10

Think of it as a test or a game, to see if you can go without drinking, if you take a sip, you loose, if you don't you win, so each time you pick up a glass, your loosing.

if that doesn't work hear a more standard cure

use a substitute, substitute juice or coke for alcohal, every time you feel like taking a drink have one of these.