if a mans sexual arousal is genetically [to use an economics term:] index linked to a womans physical attractiveness, is it just wishful thinking that his desire will remain fixed, when the physical side of the person he fell for, is fading from sight?
2006-12-31 05:54:42 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
a lot of you seem to be confusing love with desire.
2006-12-31 10:19:00 · update #1
A lot of people expect or hope that their partner will still find them desirable if the put on some pounds, but realistically it doesn't always occur. The couple may continue to have sex, but it's just a fact that it's likely the non-gaining partner will find the now-overweight partner to be less physically appealing.
No matter how lovely a person is on the inside, part of what makes successful relationships is digging a person as the whole package...inside and out...if you no longer dig the inside or the outside, the relationship is going to start to have some problems.
Humans are visual creatures...we naturally are drawn to those things we find visually appealing...fat isn't visually appealing to many people...I've been obese, I know how it works and how it feels.
2006-12-31 05:59:58 · answer #1 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You make a very good point, but are we to assume that this relationship is based on something other than physical attraction? I believe that the physical part of a relationship is just a start. When two people fall in love, they fall in love based on personality, soul and heart too. If the physical side is lacking, someone who is truly "in-love" will not be completely turned off to their significant other. I have ballooned up with 2 pregnancies, and also about a year ago. My relationship did not suffer ~ and my husband didn't look at me differently. But, when I went on a diet (on my own - my husband has NEVER said anything bad or negative about my appearance), then our passion ignited again. I wasn't happy with myself, but he has remained my constant. Our connection is more than physical, and always will be.
2006-12-31 06:01:47 · answer #2 · answered by 2mom35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, and speaking as a woman, I think it really is wishful thinking that a man will think and feel the same if a woman puts on extra weight. The "nice" thing to say would be "love is unconditional, you should love the person, not the physical aspects"..but, I disagree. I don't think you can put one over the other, rather I think its 50/50. Also, I think there is a responsibility for each person in a relationship to maintain and groom themselves accordingly. :-) Just My Opinion.
2006-12-31 06:00:28 · answer #3 · answered by cherripye99 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The same goes for women, we don't find beer guts, unwanted hair or lack of, and untoned men attractive either. We all lose our looks in the end and that will include you. Instead of noticing your girlfriends flaws look closer to home. Perhaps you won't find her as attractive, but as your looks fade she won't find you as attractive either. Should you both just leave each other and try to find someone more attractive. you could do but in the end living like that will turn you into a sleazy old man trying to cop off with young women. And believe me the attention isn't appreciated. We just take the piss out of people like that, saying things like talk about punching above their weight. It's your choice.
2006-12-31 06:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by harvestmoon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is unjustified if she expects the same man (as when she was slimmer) to desire her as much. We are all attracted to different things in a partner. Some people like heavier partners....some not. If you feel deeply for a person, you will/should feel the same if they put on weight....but that does not mean that you 'fancy' them the same.
2006-12-31 06:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all he wants from her is sex...then that is not a real relationship.
So it really doesn't matter. There is more then physical attraction that can turn a person on. Sure I would want to have a good looking man with a great body, but if he is stupid and uneducated...no thanks, a physical attraction would not be enough for me to keep him. Also men gain weight too, so that goes both ways.
2006-12-31 06:02:19 · answer #6 · answered by digorbat11 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are sexually attracted from the first look. Hopefully after you get to know the girl, I'm assuming you have been together awhile if she has had enough time to gain significant weight, you will love her not only for her looks but also for her personality and character.
Flip side....Do men think ear hair, back hair, balding and big bellies are attractive? Just as you like to look at "hot" women we like to look at hot men
2006-12-31 06:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by beth l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, It is not unjustified because when it is true love, the desire defies the borders of outside looks, but its more like the soul of one desires to be one with the soul of another,goes to that old example: have you ever met someone who is not so pretty by conventional standards but there is something about them that makes them so attractive, and opposite is true, have you ever met someone so beautiful and yet there is nothing there? It;s hard to explain unless you experienced it, but going back to your question, true love endures a few extra pounds and much more........
2006-12-31 06:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by El Oso 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the anger from women is that we DO put on weight during pregnancy...and guess what, so do the men! Men let their bodies go. They lose their muscle tone, get beer guts..etc. However, women are expected to remain thin and firm even though we have more fat cells and hold onto weight easier than men. BTW boobs are made out of fat.
2006-12-31 06:00:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the ONLY link is the sexual attraction, yes. The woman is into wishful thinking.... Oh... and it's the same if you reverse the situation.... when a guy's physical side is falling apart... only it happens less often because we women don't get our brains caught in our zippers....
2006-12-31 05:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋