my bf went to a strip club last night
at least he was honest about it and told me.
but it really bothers me.
am i giving him too much freedom??
2006-12-31 05:41:59 · 24 answers · asked by ♥ms.peREz?♥ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes you are over reacting!! GL do you not look at males?? Did he bring home numbers, spend all his money, or take someone home? Probably not!!
Be secure in yourself and your relationship. 10 years ago I was insecure and jealous, but over the years have changed and my relationship is 100% better. Jealousy is what you are really talking it about, and it can do nothing but tear down a good relationship!!
Most females don't agree with me, but they are usually the ones that are insecure!! I speak from experience...walked in both shoes, much better not to be jealous/insecure!!!
2006-12-31 06:48:21 · answer #1 · answered by luv2bme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he's not your child or your dog...it's not up to you to "give him freedom" just as I'm sure you wouldn't want him trying to tell you where you can and cannot go.
There's nothing wrong with going to a strip club...it's just another form of entertainment...some people really enjoy looking at the human body and guys tend to like looking at the female body.
Why does it bother you? Don't let your insecurities cause an issue in your relationship. Self confidence is very appealing...and you having the trust in him to support him enjoying himself as he desires (w/o stepping out of the relationship bounds and cheating) says a lot about you and your relationship with him.
I'm a chick and would have no issue with my guy going to a strip club...I don't even mind going now and then (the girls can be pretty and I envy their flexibility!). If you are secure in your relationship something like this shouldn't be an issue...
...if you aren't secure in your relationship then the strip club isn't the issue, the lack of trust is.
2006-12-31 05:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he was honest and at them clubs nothing is going to happen, well at least any that I've ever visited, Some times guys like to go just to check out the senery,not to find a new love. I don't think your giving him too much unless this is a every day occurance then you better tighten up the leash and take care of him or get rid of him.
2006-12-31 05:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's your bf
not your husband.
He told you what he did without (it appears) the 'third degree'.
You don't thave the power to 'give' or 'take' freedom in a healthy relationship.
If i were him and read what you just said, I would hit the road.
Talk to him about it, let him know it bothers you, tell him that if that is what he wishes to do, you can't stop him, but your own values do not allow that kind of behaviour.
I agree that those clubs are among the worst ways to spend money - but you cannot enforce morality.
It has to be a choice he makes based on his love/concern for you.
If you feel you have to rein him in - don't. Just leave him, because the healthy part of the relationship has died.
2006-12-31 05:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him it bothers you, but as long as he didn't hit on anyone, etc...and he was honest with you it's really not a big deal. It's not so different than him watching or looking at porn when it comes down to. I'd say if he ever does anything more than that, is when it's too far. But a strip club is no big deal. I wouldn't worry about it.
2006-12-31 05:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by ------ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Freedom is exactly what a man needs to realize what he has at home. My guy and I have been together since ninth grade. We graduated this year. For our graduation he went to see strippers and I could care less. If you try to control him, that will just push him away. Unless you want to lose him I suggest you give him his space. Most men don't wanna sleep strippers b/c they are dirrrrrty. It's just a fantasy type thing. Stop over reacting. I'm sure he loves u and wouldn't hurt you.
2006-12-31 05:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by chinesefoodruleZ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, his freedom is not yours to give. Only he can decide what he does with his time. Does he know it bothered you? Does he plan to go again sometime? I am with you--I don't like the idea at all and my bf has already told me that he plans to go on his birthday in March. It seems odd to me that guys with girlfriends would be interested in paying girls money to pretend they like them. Maybe I'm missing something?
Anyway, I don't think his behavior is much different than most of the guys I know. You have to decide if you can accept it or not.
2006-12-31 05:46:19 · answer #7 · answered by schweetums 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i really wish women would stop making such a big deal about the strip clubs and the porno stuff. all of this is very normal behavior for men. it doesn't mean that the don't love you. unless it is negatively affecting the relationship (he's always at the club,speniding bill money at the club, absolutely cannot have sex with you without porno beng involved) let it go. it's no big deal.
2006-12-31 05:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was mad too, it is a normal reaction. This is where trust comes in. My man had to go to these things with his boss & other associates. I eventually went with him too. Where I am still bothered, after I went with him, and gave him some room (acting like it didn't bother me anymore) he stopped going. Just act like it is no big deal - guys are flattered to a degree when a girl is jealous - but then they view it as unattractive and annoying.
2006-12-31 05:46:22 · answer #9 · answered by 2mom35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he saw some naked women. Big deal. He can see them in any Playboy magazine. It's not like he had a good time in bed with them. If you don't let him do what he wants to do he will probably start lying to you. Or break up with you. You can't control another person so don't even try or you will regret it.
2006-12-31 09:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋