I have been dating a very nice girl for about a month. We have fun together, but are not really compatible. I came to the decision today that I want to "just be friends" and it happens to be New Year's Eve. We had tentative plans to meet at a party. I now plan not to attend. How can I tell her that I don't want to be involved anymore in a way that will not hurt her feelings too badly?
2006-12-31 04:47:37 · 18 answers · asked by jimmy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should break up with her as soon as possible today. Dont drag out a relationship with someone you are not into - that is unfair to both of you. However, dont stand the girl up either - it's cowardly and mean. Give her the opportunity to alter her plans and walk away with a clear conscience. Good luck!!
2006-12-31 05:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by duhha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she cares there will be hurt feelings. Be HONEST sincere and dont talk crap after the break up. Good luck and dont string her along that will hurt a lot more. Dont use the old lines
It' not you its me
I have to find myself
I cant give you what you need
These statements just make it worse.
Dont wait til later it may hurt now but at least she wont feel pitied on top of everything else. Its not any better to wait why let her live a lie hoping your bringing in the new year together the kiss etc.
2006-12-31 04:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by troys_wifey2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holiday break ups are never easy. I once broke up with someone on my birthday (which is 2 days before christmas).
Call her now, so she can make other plans for tonight. People put a lot of emphasis on the holiday and she will want to do something fun to "get back at you" or her friends will make her go out and have fun, both of which are good for you, as it means she will be moving on.
Just be sweet and direct. You don't have to be brutally honest i.e. don't tell her you don't find her attractive like that etc. Just tell her you are not ready to have a relationship. If she pushes, tell her you've made other plans for this evening and she will most likely get that hint.
Something like, Hi Michele, I'm really sorry to break our plans but I feel I have to be honest with you, and though I think you are very nice and I find you attractive, I just am not ready to be in a relationship right now. And i don't think it would be fair of me to tie you down when i'm not sure of my feelings. I hope we can stay on good terms as I think you are a great person.
and keep it short... don't drag it out into some long conversation.
even if you have to hang up on her, do it quietly and maturely.
and good luck!
2006-12-31 04:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by mellokittyx4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until a day or two from now, dude. She won't be able to enjoy a party if she's getting over a breakup. If you don't want to go, fake an illness or something.
When you do get around to breaking up with her at a better time, just come right out with it and say that you don't want to date her anymore. It's better to just come right out and say it, even though she might not react in the best way to it. Don't do like they do and say "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" or "I like you as a friend" or some nonsense like that. She might hang onto hope that you will want her back someday. Guys sure do when they hear stuff like that. And not giving up causes more pain than just letting go. Be kind, but be honest. Good luck!
2006-12-31 04:53:21 · answer #4 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no nice way to do this. Like many of the others say, keep it short and honest. I would do this in person and if she is receptive to being friends (she may have sensed the way you are feeling or feels the same way) go to the party with her. You are the one that waited until the last minute, why ruin her plans if she is game on the friendship thing. If she doesn't want to do this, send her some flowers (or gift of esteem) today or tom. with a short note telling her how you feel (please stay free of those cheesy lines that someone spoke of before).
good luck
2006-12-31 05:15:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up later a week from today, not on the New Year- the easy way to do this just say ........(put in her name ) you are a great girl / lady , let just be friends-
Put the shoes on the other foot, and you will see its not so nice-
If you care anything for the person. I think you are being mean-
2006-12-31 05:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by Yahoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's no such thing as nice way in breaking up with someone on new years eve nor not hurting someone's feeling when telling them that you don't want to be involved with her anymore...anyway tell her as soon as possible,like now or before that tentative plans party that you've said...now or later will still hurt her.
2006-12-31 05:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by warmhearted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm tempted to say "would it kill you to wait a couple days?" but in some ways that's worse, since it's untruthful. There's not really a nice way to break up with someone, though truthfulness and honesty pays off best in the long run if you want to remain friends.
2006-12-31 04:50:17 · answer #8 · answered by dagorath1123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you don't need to tell her about your new understanding today- that kind of thing needs be done in person and can really put someone out- suicide watch please. Since they were tentative plans anyway make sure she knows early on in the day you aren't going to that party. Later on talk to her about the real issues.
2006-12-31 04:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by squirrelbabygirl7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm, why would you do that? That is low. No one likes to spend new year's eve alone. It isn't fair that you could have done that before now. It is rude and uncalled for. What you can't put it off for a few days? It is men like you who put us all off to trying to date after a bad break up because you pick horrid times to do it.
2006-12-31 04:52:43 · answer #10 · answered by carmadsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋