I have a friend who can drive me nuts when she is manicky. I have a father who is very old and very ill and I don't want to have to turn my phone off in case something happens with him. This friend keeps calling me and keeping me on the phone for hours on end I try to set limits but it just doesn't work. She will ask the same question over and over. Untill I answer the way she wants then sometimes she'll ask why I changed my mind! I want to show her that I will be her friend but sometimes it's very hard.Everyone else has thrown up their hands and given up. I don't want to change my phone number for family reasons.I sometimes turn off the ringer on my phone to avoid her. She'll call every 5 minutes all night long! This is after keeping me on the phone for 2 or 3 hours. I kid you not most times she'll call in less than 5 minutes She is on medications but the med.'s don't help. Are there some Bipolors that can't be helped threw medications?I need help myself! She's driving me insane.
2006-12-31 04:06:31 · 7 answers · asked by Pamela V 7 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I sujested that she tell her Dr. the things she has told me and she says she is afraid he will call her crazy and laugh at her.I know him he is a deacon in my church I did talk to him but of course he couldn't talk to me about her. He just told me that I have to set limmits,IE: Tell her I can only talk for 15 minutes. She'll call again in another 5 min. for 15 min. I am very serious about wanting to be there for her. It is frustrating because I just don't see her being helped by the medications.I just don't know what I can do or say. She just doesn't trust anyone (except me) I can only try to put myself in her place I know it must be alwful to fell that way.
2006-12-31 05:49:07 · update #1
I can imagine how frustrating this is for you. Your Deacon is right. Set limits and stick to them. Once you have been on the phone for the alloted time, simply say" I have to go now, please don't call me back tonight. I love you and will talk to you later". Then hang up the phone. You are not "hanging up" on her because you have told her you are disconnecting now. As for the repeated calls, turn off your ringer, turn on your answering machine (if you don't have one, buy one for your own sanity) and screen your calls in case it is a call you need to get. You can also block her number from your line and tell her that you had to do this for your own health, sanity and so on. Offer to go to her doctor with her if she is afraid of admitting how out of control she actually is. It does sound like she needs stronger or different meds. Also, many Bipolars will lie about taking their meds because the "manic" in them makes them think they don't really need the drugs.
It is wonderful that you are as understanding as you are about this and bless you for trying to be her friend. But you must stand your ground with the limits. Explain to her how disruptive her behavior is to your life, that you do want to be her friend and help her, but ultimitaly she has to take the steps to help herself. If you can't get her to listen, maybe you should try writing it down or talking to her when she is not in "manic" mode.
Good luck to you and your friend.
2006-12-31 06:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have caller ID? If not, maybe you can just gently tell her that you don't want to be on the phone so long. Just say that you really don't like to talk on the phone. It's a great thing though that you are being her friend. She can't help what she has. Be there for her, that's all you can really do. Although it is hard, I'm sure she'll inspire you in ways that you don't know.
2006-12-31 12:36:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is bipolar and when he is in a manic cycle he gets very impulsive. Setting limits doesn't always help but they have to be consistent. Besides turning off your phone I am not sure what you can do to help her. Perhaps she needs her meds adjusted or changed? But for my son the meds don't completely stop the cycling it just helps them not to be so severe.
2006-12-31 12:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by Dark Star 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I'm torn between thinking you are becoming a doormat
and asking you to flat out tell her not to call when she's manic
You've got to set limits
sounds like you are at your wits end
Would she be OK with you talking with her psychiatrist?
Because I keep thinking
what goes UP must come down
and does she call out for help when she's down also
or only when manic?
2006-12-31 12:18:28 · answer #4 · answered by chaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should try going with her to the doctor when she goes and let them know what she is doing so they can see the meds are not working. They could then change the meds.. Dont give up on her. I am sure it does get frustrating but, help her by going with her to her doctor. Maybe the doctor can even come up with some ideas for you on how to deal with her when she does this.
2006-12-31 12:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds manic. be patient with her I've been BP for over 20 years. Meds helped me
2006-12-31 12:12:28 · answer #6 · answered by blank 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://antipsychiatry.org
2006-12-31 12:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋