My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months may be more. I am now 6 months pregnant with his baby. He has only told me that he loves me one time about 8 or 9 months ago and never said it a gian. I don't bother him about it but I always tell him I love him before we go to bed but never get a response back from him. We live together and have for about the whole time we have been dating. Sometimes I feel that he does, but when we get into an arguement he always brings up my past (lets just say I was not angel) and tells me he don't need me and can find someone better. I like to think that I have changed I don't do any of the things I used to that he brings up. I really love this man and would do any thing for him and have. What I want to know is he in love with me or just using me cause I am easy and vaulnrable?
2006-12-31 04:03:59 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let me add that I am 23 and already have a son that is 6 years old. My boyfriend also already has two children (twins 10 years old) that he pays child support for, so I don't believe that its has to do with the baby. He told me before we got together that he was seeing this one girl for about a year (he used to tell her he loved her he told me) but she did something, not sure what happened to break them up. It not really that I want him to say he loves me it more the arguing. When we get into arguments he brings up old things and calls me a freak and tells me that I will just go back to doing the samethings as before after the baby. He tells me that he do need me and the only people he needs to listen to are himself his mama and God. But, I feel he should take what I have to say and at least consider it. I have to admit he is the one that made me change and if it weren't for him I propably would not have, but I don't feel it gives him the right to keep puting it in my face.
2006-12-31 04:32:58 · update #1
It just seems like he wants me to get down on my knees and thank him for helping me. I believe I already thanked him by wanting so much to be with him that I souldn't feel abligated to keeps saying it. let me also say thay we work at the same place (that is where we met). The place is a truck wash so I tend to work around alot of guys cause that is all that works out there. But it is hard to do my job because anytime I am talking to a guy customer or employee he tells me that I want to *uck them or that I was flirting. I feel that I have to be very very careful because he will text me saying that he don't want to be with me and he see me flirtin or I am a freak. I tell him why would I flirt or mess around when I know you are right there to see it, makes no sense. I think he just don't like me talking to guys period. I used to find it cute when we 1st started dating but now it just results in an argument.
2006-12-31 04:47:52 · update #2
It's much harder for some people to say the word's "I love you" then it is for others. Cut him some slack. If he is with you and only you then of course he Love's you he just doesn't know how to say it. Or perhaps he feels that actions speak louder then words. I don't think he would remain with you just because he thinks your easy and vulnerable. Ask him. '-)
2006-12-31 04:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to be a bummer on your situation, but it sounds like your boyfriend isn't very much a man. If he told you once about 8 or 9 months ago, it sounds like he could have been saying it just to get you in the sack. Not that your man is that way, but he IS--afterall--a guy. Once you got pregnant, he felt it was his duty to stay with you to save face, or maybe for the baby. If this is the case, you need to let him know that there are ways for you to support yourself, and you will not sacrifice the rest of your life for someone who doesn't care about you, and you won't have your child living in an environment where the parents dont' love each other.
On another note, he could be a little distressed about your pregnancy. This might also be intensified by your age, that is if you're young. He might in a twisted way partially blame you for your pregnancy. If he is the bread-maker between the two of you, and you do not live with parents, then he might feel stressed about whether he can support you all and be a good father. A stressed man is a quiet man.
Good luck and God bless you, sweetie. Answers will come with time, and you should always do what is best for you, not what feels best to you.
2006-12-31 04:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like he has a broken heart, or lets say a grudge, he loves you but doesnt want to admi, after all you have done. The only way to ix his heart is through time prove to him you love him rather than words, this needs alot of patience. Try to be on your best behavior at all times. If you are serious about your boyfriend, treat him as if he is you are at work and you are nice just so you can get promoted have a better reputation. And while doing so he will see the change in you, and the effort you are putting for him. Let him Need you. Work on your relationship in a way that if one day you are not there he will miss something in his life, he will feel empty for a while. So make sure you are attentive to him , but you be the judge dont SPOIL him too much that he expects it from you
2006-12-31 04:09:44 · answer #3 · answered by Hunnypox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the times what we feel about someone is true. As you felt yourself, he seems to be using you(but not by porpose) since you tend to be his doormat and easy and Vaulnerable.
To be honest i evaluate his mind very shallow and his attitute very selfish. Sorry to say this to whom you love, but i am a man too and have gone through such things in myself.
U need to stand and support what you are and what you have become and care and love for yourself first.
You cant give him much to adore you if you dont have a strong and stable personality and being Volnerabel.
So Who cares if he leaves you or not. You are going to be a mother and have got a baby to care for and love. He must be thankfull to you for being the mother of his child.
Even to say that you both made a mistake to be with each other. still no worry. We learn from life and move on.
Practically try not to be obsessed with him and give as much attention to him as he does to you.
if he argues over your past, tell him that you are proud of overcoming your past and changing. Not everyone can do that. And tell him to stop arguing about this otherwise you will leave him and dont make him feel that you need him and cant live without him. This will distance him more.
Good Luck
Happy New Year
2006-12-31 04:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are being made miserable by this man now, just think how bad it will be when the baby is born and he still wont tell you he loves you. You're going to hate this but you need to be the best mother you can to that baby and that means not desparately waiting for a man to love you. If you are unhappy, your baby will be adversely affected.
You might find that you would be better of on your own for a while. that way you can focus on the person who needs you the most, your child.
Good luck.
2006-12-31 04:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by penny century 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think since you are pregnant you are more emotional. as a typical male -- he cannot comprehend it nor realizes that he needs to give you every bit of support right now. not all men are like this.
he probably feels trapped because of a baby on the way and is battleling with his normal male emotions. oh that his life is over, he's no longer a single stud out on the prowl -- uh whatever. some men have a hard time growing up. sounds to me he's selfish or he just doesn't show his emotions. talk to him, try to get him to be more open.
be prepared that he may walk out the door. you need to be strong for yourself and for your baby. if he turns out to be the wrong guy for you afterall, that may be the best thing. BUT, you will always have an attachment to this guy since he is the father of your baby. if things don't work out between you two, strive to keep them civil as possible for your baby's sake. good luck.
2006-12-31 04:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by curious_One 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see...the last time he told you he loved you was 8 or 9 months ago. Right BEFORE you got pregnant. Sounds like something has changed since then. Better find out NOW if he wants you and that baby....for sure.
2006-12-31 04:08:22 · answer #7 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may not be happy moment that you feel that he is not loving you. From what you have stated it seems he is using you for sex and might leave as soon as he finds another one. I have a doubt whether he really loves you. Loving means affection and that is missing. Only you can find out whether is he happy with the coming of the new born. If so then he really loves you.
2006-12-31 04:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by Tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys have a problem with committment and will see saying "I love you" as a step in that direction. You need to find out how committed he is to you or you will end up as just another single mother. Sounds harsh, but better sooner than later if he is not prepared to accept responsibility.
2006-12-31 04:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by saexpat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's hard for a guy to tell a girl that he loves them. It's a deep emotion for them to express. If he said it before don't sweat it, he will say it again. He won't say it often but he will say it. I think you and him need to get couple's therapy because everytime you and him get in arguement there's no reason for him to bring up your past and you shouldn't feel this way. If he doesn't agree to this that shows you that he doesn't really care about your relationship and what he could do to improve it. ALL COUPLES ARUGUE!!! To answer that question you wrote above you need to go to COUPLES THERAPY!!
2006-12-31 04:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by momo13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋