well its new year, and I don't know what to do. My parents are divorced, and this is the first time, out of three previous new years, that they are both doing nothing at all. I want to be with both, but i can't. Also, a friend has invited me to their house for a bit. I will probably go there first, then later (maybe after new year) I will go to one of the parents house. The only problem is that I am going to feel guilty about not being at the other parent's hous, and now my mum wants a talk at some point because she thinks there might be something wrong if i feel guilty. any advice????
2006-12-31 03:52:36 · 24 answers · asked by st_565 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Spend time in the afternoon visiting your parent's. If they were not divorced you wouldn't feel this dilemma and they would be together tonight. you could take your Mom and Dad a movie, popcorn and something to drink in a gift bag and then you have the evening with your friend's. then at midnight give them both a ring. There's nothing for you to feel guilty about. For all you know they are looking forward to being by themselves. Good luck! Stop with the guilt. Let that be your New Year's resolution. '-)
2006-12-31 03:56:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
st....first of all....skip the guilt, it is not your fault they are divorced and lonely, or alone.....hoestly, let that one go....
I am a divorced woman who has spent many a new years eve alone, christmas, thanksgiving etc....I have 2 great kids, but the LAST thing I would have wanted was for them to feel guilty because their father and I couldn't work it out and happened to end up alone on a holiday...this just is NOT your problem.
Go spend the time with your own friends like yo should on this holiday and let your parents alone...that is what you are supposed to do. You know all those holidays I was alone made me reflect on what I could have and should have done to not have ended up alone...you may even be doing them a favor, I am serious....
If your mom wants to talk, call her and set up another time when you can come and talk to her. I think you would be perfectly justified and correct to tell them both you are torn and don't want to choose so you will not.....
No Guilt, they are alone because of them, not you, now go to your friends house and do what you are supposed to do, enjoy yourself, guilt free.
caring isn't the equivilent of guilt....
good luck to you, have fun tonight!!!!!!
2006-12-31 12:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That does sound tricky. I think you should spend the evening with your friend, since that puts you in a neutral position with your parents. It would also be a good idea to talk to them both honestly about how you feel - situations like this will keep coming about with birthday's, anniversaries etc, so it would be a good idea to share your feelings of guilt. That way they will both hopefully be understanding towards you and might not pressure you so much in the future.
Good luck, and happy New Year.
2006-12-31 11:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by Funky Little Spacegirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you don't say how old you are so I will answer as though you are an adult and not living at home. Your parents are not your social obligation. Go out with your friends on New Years eve. Visit with each parent part of the day on Monday.
If you are still living at home, one or the other, then visit the home you are not living at for part of the day... once again, parents deserve love and respect but they are not your responsibility to keep company.
That's what friends are for.
2006-12-31 11:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by lilygateau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to your friends house for a bit, then the house of the parent you DON"T live with and then go home to the other parent. That will make every one happy and probably you too. That is what I would do. Good Luck and Happy New Year. Nana
2006-12-31 11:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would set a side some time to talk to both your parents, tell them both how your feeling and be open and honest I think you will find they can help you with these feelings your having If you don't do something to let your feelings out you will begin to have resentments towards them both and that is bound to make things a lot worse. Try to talk to them and be open to their feels and thoughts too. As far as going to your friends house that is ok but please remember to be safe!
2006-12-31 12:00:52 · answer #6 · answered by Donna C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to one parent's house for New Year's and spend time with the other one New Year's Day. Hope that helps xx
2006-12-31 11:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by ~Grace~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor dear! You didn't create this situation, try to remeber that when you start feeling guilty. Explain to both parents how you feel, they will understand. Go to your mums this year and Dads next year or vice versa. Or simply tell them, "Im going out with my friends, I love you , have a great night."
2006-12-31 11:58:59 · answer #8 · answered by salinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate divorces, because it is always the kids that suffer. I am so sorry for the situation that you were put in. I would say half a day with each parent.
Hun, I wish you the best of New Years. Keep your head held high, and always remember that there are good times ahead.
2006-12-31 11:56:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you could be direct and open to your parents and tell them exactly what you are writing here. Its not your fault things are not working out, it is making you unhappy, and ofcourse parents love their kids, htey will make an effort to make you feel more comfortable maybe who knows they will meet for your sake:)
option 2 - if it doesnt work, then the only thing you can do is move along, its really nothing you can do more. As time passes you will get used to it.
2006-12-31 11:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Hunnypox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋