Things were going great between us, when we first met. We get along great, there's great chemistry between us intellectually and physically, we come from similar backgrounds and have many of the same interests. Now he's withdrawing, telling me that he's not capable of being in a serious relationship, that his head is messed up, etc. He says the woman he was with was pure evil. Am not sure what he saw in her or why he stayed in it for so long, and he says he doesn't either. He always pays me lots of compliments which I think are sincere, I seem to be the opposite of his ex. I believe he truly likes me as a person. And he's told me he loves being with me. I've told him I'm open to having a casual relationship with him, but he keeps telling me I should be looking for someone who can give me what I deserve. Still, I want him and he knows it. But he has gradually stopped making an effort. It feels hurtful and disrespectful, though I don't think he means it to be.
2006-12-31 03:35:54 · 11 answers · asked by lookinglovenyc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know it will be hard but I think you need to respect his request for space. If he is "the one", he will come back into your life somehow.
2006-12-31 03:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by JAD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a fine line between hurtfulness and disrepct- and trying to maintain a level of distance.
If you hope to have any chance with the guy, you have to give him his space. Let him know clearly how you feel, tell him you want to give him this space, and hold yourself to this. Tell him you would like to still spend time together as friends, and make efforts to do so. Don't pressure him physically or emotionally.
If after this, he still breaks plans with you, or says mean or cruel things, or doesn't return phone calls, this is simply uncalled for, and you are being mistreated. Let him go for now. He may heal after some time and decide he is ready to be with you. But the worst thing you can do is make him feel that you are moving him faster than he is ready for.
Take it slow, don't worry he is going to go for someone else either. He isn't any more ready for someone else than he is for you. He may have some rebound dates. If the two of you are right for each other, he'll figure it out when he is ready. Just be there as his friend until then.
2006-12-31 03:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by londonmh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be the one upset he is the one that just came out of a 5 yr relationship if she was evil or not he needs time to cope with the situation. Give him time to think don't jump onto him because you know he is not with her anymore. You as well need time to think is he the right one? Does he really want me? etc Leave him alone for a while let him breathe 5yrs is a long time he would eventually come around maybe you would see the real him now.
2006-12-31 03:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by Keewani B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my boyfriend and I 4 years ago. He kept telling me he was gay to make me leave. In reality though, he was scared to death....he was falling in love with me (another woman) (a woman who was not his wife of 5 years).
He is pushing you away because he's gotten to close. He may be feeling intense feelings for you and is afraid. Being close, loving another person and giving all of himself...only caused him hearache before. Even though you are completely different from his ex-wife, he probably doesn't feel that he is worthy of loving you so soon after the divorce.
Allow him time to grieve for his loss and earn his friendship while doing so.
Hopefully, once he sees what a truly wonderful woman you are, what a great friend and that you love him enough to let him work through this....you'll fall madly in love and live happily ever after.
Use this time to build a solid friendship / relationship together.
Good luck! I'll keep you in both in my prayers. xo
2006-12-31 03:48:03 · answer #4 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you're in love , there are not any questions relating to the type you experience . A freight prepare could no longer quit it. considering the fact which you're torn between 2 human beings ,you like neither of them . you're able to care approximately them the two. yet that's no longer the kind of affection that persons combat and die for . it isn't the kind of affection which will final a life-time , and it isn't the kind of affection which you ought to marry or commit for . Be loose like a butterfly until you detect that style of affection .
2016-11-25 02:49:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time and space and perhaps check in with him now and then....let him know that when he is ready you will be there....that's really all you can do...the rest is up to him...if you push too hard he will just retreat faster and he may never come back to you...it's hard but I wish you well.....Happy new year
2006-12-31 03:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You remind him of his ex. He doesnt want to be in a relationship right now.
2006-12-31 03:39:56 · answer #7 · answered by Ricky 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You were Transition Woman. Were!
"Fools rush in where angels fear to tread."
Lick your wounds and move on, Dear!
2006-12-31 03:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by Freesumpin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get out while you still can
2006-12-31 03:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
the answer is 3 and half......
2006-12-31 03:42:53 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Right 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋