stay-at-home parents?

Question

I am doing a paper for school- about how it has been made almost impossible to stay at home to take care of children due to society as well as government.
If you are a stay at home parents, I would really like you to answer the following questions
-Why did you decide to stay at home?
-How can you afford to be able to stay at home?
-What did you do before you had children?
-What is your social life like?
-How long to you plan on staying at home?
-Do you think the government should help stay at home parents more? (Such as paid maternity leaves)

For parents that are not stay at home
-Do you want to be?
-Do you think you could handle staying at home?
-Do you think the government should help stay at home parents more? (Such as paid maternity leaves)

I have many more questions, and if you are willing, I would really appreciate to have e-mail conversation or IM conversations.
Thank you a lot in advance.

What I meant by 'government help' is longer maternity leaves- withouts using sick days and/or vacation days.

Part of what I am also trying to figure out why so many women cannot be stay at home moms, either it be other female (or feminist) ideals, government, money, etc.

to add a little more to my paper, I would also like to know if anyone has noticed any differences between those raised my stay-at home moms and working moms?

Answer 1

I am a stay at home mom since april 06.

It is hard at first. these moms do alot. I think it is easier to work in the force. as to your questions...
I became a stay at home mom when i was injured on the job, and them later became pregnant.

1)When you have more than one kid it is actually more afordable to stay at home them to pya child care expenses for three of them. It on average is about $2.50 a kid an hour. at three kids and my $8.00 hour wage, it is easier and better to stay home.
2)before i was a stay at home mom, i was a manager for a warehouse for car parts. I loved my job, and loved working in a warehouse, and actually miss it on occasion.
3)well for most who have kids your social life changes alot. Kids offer different opertunities then not having kids. They like to do different things. I have since stopped going to play pool at the local bowling alley, and stopped hanging out with the people I used to. But now I hang out with people who raise my spirits. NOt lower them. I still have hobbies, and still have fun on occasion, but my kids are the most important.
4) I plan to stay at home until all my kids are in school. This way child care expenses will not take my whole paycheck. I have two girls ages 5 and 4, and a new baby boy on the way. when he goes into 1st grade, then I will go back to work again.
5)I think the government has very strickt guidlines on who to help, and most of th time they are right, but I just think that taxes should go down, and minimum wage should go up. Here in Utah it is only $5.15 an hour. Crappy. If miminum wage was raised, that would help alot of low income families. Paid maternity leave would be great, but most of the time not plausable. It is easier and less expensive for all employers to not offer it.

If you have more questions feel free to ask. im

Answer 2

Why did you decide to stay at home? daycare costs way too much, I'd only make a few bucks a day after I would pay the daycare bill. I also don't like the thought of someone else raising my child, I have different views on parenting and I could see there would be lots of conflicts.

-How can you afford to be able to stay at home? We are very frugal. I cook almost every meal, we use cloth diapers, we don't get out much but that's fine because our son entertains us!

-What did you do before you had children? I was a store manager in retail, but salaried so I worked way more than I should have!

-What is your social life like? I meet up with other mothers, but live far away from family so it can get lonely.

-How long to you plan on staying at home? Until my last child is in kindergarten, which will be awhile since we plan on two more.

-Do you think the government should help stay at home parents more? (Such as paid maternity leaves)
I think maternity leaves should be longer for working moms so they can establish a better breastfeeding relationship. I also think healthcare should be cheaper, I know too many families in limbo because they make too much money to get free healthcare, yet they can barely make ends meet.

Answer 3

1. I decided to stay home because my child was my responsibility. After we had two, the money i could have made working wouldn't have covered daycare.
2. My husband worked his butt off to get a degree before we had children, so that he could get a job and work his butt off to pay the bills.
3. Before we had children, I was in school. I graduated preMed, but intended to get my teachers certificate. I actually was working on that recently before I decided it was all nonsense.
4. My social life is great. My husband loves his family, and usually watches the kids so I can join friends for dinner. I'd say, maybe once a week. I also run a support group for parents of autistic children, so I have a lot of adult interaction throughout the day. We are involved in about four homeschooling groups, so I see friends at least two or three times a week at fieldtrips and playdates. My husband and I have a date night once a month, which is about to be twice a month once the new year starts.
5. I'll stay home until my children don't need me anymore. I'm imagining that since I'm pregnant, it'll be about 20 more years. I imagine that instead of working I'll continue my support group and advocacy.
6. I really don't want help from the government. Once you do that, then you give them permission to tell you have to live your life and how to spend the money they give you. it would be nice, sometimes, but to do something like that (which some European govts do) our tax rates would have to skyrocket. I'm thinking in those countries, while personal taxes are similar, the taxes on purchases are around 30%. With all the people are medicaid, WIC, and food stamps, I think that's probably help enough.

Answer 4

I am a stay at home mom and have been ever since I was five months pregnant with my son (who is now 18 months. I also have a daughter that is almost three)
I decided to stay at home b/c I wanted to spend more quality time with my daughter and my son when he was born. I am very blessed that my husband makes enough to support all our bills and our wants.
At first, I wasn't getting much social interaction. It was really hard having the same schedule day after day...cleaning, feeding, changing, bathing, laundry...cleaning, feeding, changing, bathing, laundry, etc. It was so hard to take both of my kids anywhere at their ages without any help.
But now my life has gotten so much easier. I finally put my duaghter and son in a christian daycare/preschool twice a week so I could go to college. I have most of the day on Tuesday and Thursday to have some "me" time. It refreshens me so much to get out and talk to my friends and other moms, that I've notice I'm becoming a more relaxed and less stressed. My husband makes comments as to how much happier I am and that I actually play with the kids more and have more fun since I'm in a better mood. This is the most perfect arrangement I could ever imagine!
I plan on staying at home until my kids are in third grade or so. By then (slowly but surely), I'll have my degree and will go back to work.
Where I'm from, I would say the government is doing a pretty good job. I actually got payed maternity leave for six weeks after having my daughter which helped out alot (it was a courtesy where I worked) But the government did help me save hundreds of dollars on formula, cereal, juice, milk, cheese, eggs through the wic program.

Answer 5

I am a stay at home mom but I work part-time only when I need to




I decided to stay home because I don't want anyone else raising my kids. I take pride in how my kids turn out so I want it to be my responsibility. Plus I would have hated to miss all their firsts like walking, talking, etc.

My husband makes enough money to get us by. Plus with the cost of child care it's just not worth it.

Before I had children I worked full time. It has been quite an adjustment over the last six years but I'm getting use to it.

What social life? Actually I do go out with friends on occassion. (Maybe once every 2 or 3 months).

I plan on staying home until my youngest goes to school. Then I will probably only work part time so I don't miss any of their school stuff.

I personally think people rely on the government for way to much. Why can't people just learn how to take care of themselves. I understand a little help once in a while but I also think people should always be bettering themselves.

Answer 6

1-Why did you decide to stay at home? I decided to stay at home because I was missing out on my children growing up, I was very tired/stressed when I got home from work, child care is VERY expensive, and my children mean more to me than an "accessory" to my life..they are my life, my children count on me for guidance/protection in the crazy world.

2-How can you afford to be able to stay at home? We have had to do without. I have had the cell phones and cable disconnected. I bargin shop, use coupons, save cans, we do not go out to eat, Christmas was VERY slim, and basically we stay at home with each other. One has to cut corners where we can.

3-What did you do before you had children? I worked for a Fortune 500 company working in Recruiting/ Human Resources.

4-What is your social life like? HAHAHAH! What social life..kidding, we have a few close friends that we stay in contact with. I have befriended more SAH moms that working moms. And that's kinda our get away to go to a friends house. But bottomline my social life has slowed.

5-How long to you plan on staying at home? Until my youngest (7 weeks old now) starts school. And then I plan to only work part-time.

6-Do you think the government should help stay at home parents more? (Such as paid maternity leaves) Well, paid maternity leaves are way too short, at 6 weeks old your baby has just barely adjusted to being in this world and you have barely adjusted to all about them. Not to mention not all employeers provide leave (see FLMA guidelines)
I am not real sure if there is one easy answer to this one.. because the cost of living raises (food/homes/clothing/etc), health care raises and pay really doesn't and raising minimum wage really does nothing for the real working adults that already make more than minimum wage.

As to society... it is becoming more important to have a "career" than to be a family. People are having children to say they have children and not spending quality time with them. Material possesions are becoming more important. Seriously, was the Cleave life that bad? I don't think so.

My opinion:The government would rather give a hand out than a hand up and allow generations after generations to live off of welfare rather than make some changes to the whole structure, and not interfere with specific peoples personal life. One other idea may be a larger tax break for the sah moms...


Hope my novel ;-) helps your paper. Feel free to ask/mail if you need anything else.
Heather

Answer 7

I am a stay-at-home mom(SAHM).

I decided to stay home with my son because I did not have anyone to babysit him for me. Also, I believe that parents should raise their own child, not leave it up to babysitters while they work.

Before I had my son I worked a full-time job. I paid taxes just like everyone else.

Honestly, I can't really afford to be a SAHM. But right now we don't have any other choice. Child care is too expensive.

Social life? I can't say I really have one. I spend my entire day with an eight month old. Normally the only people I talk to is other parents, and this is usually just to get advice or tips. I do have one good friend who doesn't have a child. She's in college, though, and only has time for me possibly once a week. I am very socially deprived! :)

I plan on being a SAHM until our circumstances change. Until my son is old enough to go to daycare maybe, which is generally cheaper than infant care. But I have thought about staying a SAHM.

No, I do not believe the government should help us more. We already have WIC, Medicaid, and food stamps available to any parent who qualifies.

Answer 8

1. Why I stay at home: My husband and I both came from divorced families where our moms worked multiple jobs and were never home. We decided with our first child to have me (the mom) stay at home, and I believe it has given our daughter a sense of security in our family, that my husband and I didn't experience. We also decided that my husband had MEP (maximum earning potential) and that my income would be greatly consumed by childcare and convienence spending (if we both worked).
2. How can we afford it: Argh, the first time, we paid off our credit cards, and most debt, and then practiced living on one income for 2 months until the baby was born. This time is much harder, as we have accrued more debt over the past 5 yrs, and have not had the additional money to pay off debt. I have been babysitting one additional child in my home since my daughter was 2, and that additional income has helped a lot. We've also learned to make A LOT of changes in our spending habits. Gone are the days of weekly movies and dinners out, and buying whatever I desire.
3.What did I do before I had children: I was a middle school teacher (special ed). I have my bachelor's degree. (Both my husband and I are college educated.) I much prefer being a stay at home mom.
4.What is our social life like: As far as friends, we've pretty much had the same friends (through church) and most of them are starting their families. As far as my husband and I having regular dates, it's A LOT different. We have to make an effort to prioritize our relationship- we enjoy any alone time (whether driving in the car, or on dates). On another note, the hardest part for me, is being home without anyone over 5yrs old to talk to for days on end. I make a point to go on playdates, and of course there's the phone.
5. How long do you plan to stay at home: My daughter started kindergarten this year. I became pregnant around the same time. So I will most likely start working once the baby starts kindergarten (another 5 yrs from now.)
6. Should the government help stay at home parents: I think some additional maternity leave (some countries have mandatory paid leave for a year) would be nice- the government could help with that law. However, I definitely don't want any "handouts" from our government- this was our choice, and our financial burden to carry, not the government's. I would consider any additional leave as being a benefit and responsibilty of the employer following regulations mandated by the government. The trick is the socio-economic group that most needs financial help would also probably not have any benefits through their employer (ie., they're hourly). I am a big believer in educating people-maybe government assistance for those furthering their education/or technical trade (while in school, rather than working) would be a potential answer??? (helping others to help themselves).
My two cents: I do believe that our culture almost requires families to have two incomes. I am lucky enough that my husband has a PhD, and has the capability to earn an income that can support us. However, families working for an hourly wage, most of the time cannot afford to have a partner stay at home, without some type of governmental aid (WIC, foodstamps, etc). The cost of living (and our spending as a culture) have made it nearly impossible to live on just one salary alone.
Hope this helps, and good luck!

Answer 9

Why did you decide to stay at home? I didn't want strangers raising my kid plus I was afraid of how she'd be treated.
-How can you afford to be able to stay at home? With daycare costs it just made sense. It's almost cheaper to stay home.
-What did you do before you had children? I worked in accounting.
-What is your social life like? So- so, I guess. But that happened when I had my baby not because I stay home with her.
-How long to you plan on staying at home? Don't know, she's 3 now.
-Do you think the government should help stay at home parents more? (Such as paid maternity leaves) It would be nice.

Answer 10

I am a stay at home mome.

1) My husband works full time and while it's not permanent, it's while I try to find a job.
2) My husband works and although it's not a lot, it's enough to get us through the year.
3) I was in school
4) I went out a bit more or could concentrate on my friends. My husband and I went out to movies 2-3 times a week! Now we're lucky if that's 2-3 times a year.
5) I plan on staying at home until I get a job (in the next 6 months), or if I have another baby (in August) I'll just stay at home.
6) I think mandatory paid maternity and paternity leaves are a great asset to the work force. It allows a new mom to go back to work fully concentrated.

Answer 11

I am a stay home home mom thankfully.

-Why did you decide to stay at home? I stay at home because i also attend school online, and it gives me the chance to be able to pick up my other child from school when she is sick, appts whatever.

-How can you afford to be able to stay at home? I can afford to stay at home because my husband makes enough money to get us by. We may not have many luxuries but im happy with what we do have.
-What did you do before you had children? Before i had children i was in school

-What is your social life like? Ive never been one to have a big social life. I got out on rare occasions. For the most part its just me my husband and our kids.

-How long to you plan on staying at home? As long as my degree takes I am almost done with it so maybe in the next year I will start working.

-Do you think the government should help stay at home parents more? (Such as paid maternity leaves) Do i think they should help that is a tricky question. Why should the government help? I am the one who chose to stay home. I know its work but why should I have the luxury of getting money when all i do is sit here. To me this is like the moms who get welfare not because they need it but because they dont want to do anything.