some of you may be aware of my situation..my fiance left me 4 weeks ago with no explanation, i was 38 weeks pregnant at the time, we had little contact until i went into labour. i've been really fair with him he's been coming to see baby at my house and i've let him have her 3 times at his, its really hard for me i'm depressed, i still love him but i feel bullied.by him and his parents.after a heated argument today i've told him to stay away and that its time he realised what he's done to me i really feel like he's ruined my life, then i feel guilty because i love my baby to bits. he beat me up 3 times when i was`pregnant but i took him back because i loved him he's a jealous person and still checks my phone. he claims he will go to a solicitor what should i expect and what do i need to do..please dont think i'm doing this out of spite i'm doing it for my daughter and me we really are better off without him.
2006-12-31 03:27:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are both of course better off without him, he beat you and could have killed your baby!! , what sort of a father/boyfriend/husband does that?? this type of not man but creature destroys all confidence in you, he probably is waiting for you to go begging for him back, he wants to walk all over you, take full control of you and your life, WHATEVER IT TAKES, the longer they get away with it the worse extremes they go to...
i am talking from experience here....you wouldnt believe how shocking, really thought he was going to kill me several times, but i'm still here, and stronger (but more cautious) than ever
have the police been involved at all? or hospital? it would help, let him go to the solicitor, YOU GO TO YOURS,
i know you DO NOT really love him anymore, you DO NOT need him thats for sure, of course your depressed hun, he has just made you feel insecure, dependant, and unwanted by anyone but him probably,
BE STRONG!! you can get through it!!!!!,
he shouldnt be taking your baby away from you at all!!, please dont be frightened to call the police, and DONT EVER FEEL SORRY FOR HIM, HE HAS TO LEARN THE HARD WAY, HES GONE FAR TO FAR ALREADY!!!!!! i think he needs psychiactric help not just anger management
you are welcome to email me for a chat its tammyhales@hotmail.com
without him ...it will be a happy new year for you
take care
2006-12-31 09:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you weren't marrIEd, technically he has no rights, even if his name is on the birth certificate. The first thing any solicitor will advise him to do is apply to the local court for parental responsibility for the child. He can then apply straight to court himself for access to see his child, nearly always granted unless you can give good reason for him not to, ie drinks, takes drugs, abusive etc. don't panic about custody, many men threaten it, very few are actually prepared to be a full time, stay at home dad-and even if he is, he would have to prove you an unfit mother, courts very rarely order small children into their fathers custody with out good reason.
You really can't do too much until you receive notice from his solicitor as until then you have nothing to fight. however if you feel threatened by him it might be worth you going to your local citizens advice centre to see about injunctions.
Offer mediation to him before he gets to see a solicitor though-check out the link, some people find this a really helpful service and shows you that you wanted to work this out amicably and didn't want to follow the court route, which is an incredibly stressful process.
2007-01-01 11:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wha a complicated situation - I do sympathise. Firstly, your priority has to be what is best for your baby and, if your fiance displays violence, then I would keep contact to a minimum or get some promise from him about how he treats her (although it is unlikely he would harm her, you might be happier if his mum always was there).
Next, clearlly there is little future with this man and the stress of a new baby puts pressure on any normal relationship, so yours will not benefit from close proximity plus a screaming child. Sorry but it is true.
For the moment, you are better off on your own, dealing with your new baby. Let him visit, let him contribute to the costs. Try, very very hard, to keep your temper in front of the baby. And ask him to - she's only a baby now but would you be happy arguing and fighting in front of an impressionable 8 year old?
It's hard, I know, but I think you are on your own on this one. Good luck.l Hope 2007 is better for you
2006-12-31 03:44:43 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look... I hope first and foremost you are done with this guy... to beat a pregnant women or any women is against the law... see if you can somehow get free legal help or pay for it if yoou can afford. To have the childsupport due to you set and put into play... and the times of visitation he is allowed by the laws in your state... once that in place follow it to the letter... if he tries to bully you... when it comes to what the courts decided... he can be in contempt of court if he doen't follow the agreement... move on and find someone that will treat you in the way you deserve... for now focus on loving that sweet baby. Like I said I would get the courts involved to control him and you guys weren't married so his right at this point are limited... Good luck...
2006-12-31 03:44:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yet another example of modern life, it is so sad. Why do you women always end up with men who beat you?. I suppose the nice guys bore you. Without sounding too horrible, reading your question, you sound very self obsessed and over dramatic. The baby comes first, she needs your sole undivided attention, forget him. He is the baby's Father and so you should allow contact but apart from that, keep your distance. Can your parents help while you study for a better future and to improve your low self esteem.
Good luck.
2006-12-31 04:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by charterman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) he didn't marry you
2) he beat you 3 times
and now you wonder what to do?
and HE is one going to a lawyer????
Now to help you, contact YOUR attorney, change locks on your doors IF he has a key (surely not), change phone numbers to unlisted one. When he goes thru Anger Management course then you can set up supervised visitation as the court could allow.
Let your attorney handle the details for you...done all legal and it takes the stress off you and that will help both you and your child
2006-12-31 04:45:05 · answer #6 · answered by Gypsygrl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually ignoring them works, some are just more persistent than others but it usually stops being fun for them if they don't get a response. Sorry you are having these troubles & I hope it gets better soon!
2016-05-22 23:39:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have reported him when he beat you. other then that you cant stop him from seeing the child if he hasnt put it in danger or even if he has, you need proof. he can take you to court for custody. get a lawyer...thats all I can suggest.
2006-12-31 03:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youve answered your own question.You are better off without him.
If he,s yer friend what are your enemies like? Bin HIM!
2007-01-02 11:41:54 · answer #9 · answered by First CHARLIE 7290 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TRY GOING TO CITIZENS ADVICE THEY CAN PROVIDE FREE ADVICE ON LEGAL MATTERS AND IM SURE YOU ARE BETTER OF WITHOUT HIM VIOLENCE OF ANY SORT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR NEW BABY EH?
2006-12-31 04:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by ali-cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋