i met this guy 8 months ago, were now seperated, not because we want to be, but because we have to be...life sucks!!! but anyways just wanted to know what peoples opinions are, was i in love or just very strong lust....
firstly i felt a connection to him the first night we met, like finding a missing piece that fitted perfectly...but anyway here goes: the utter contentment of lieing beside him, resting my head on his chest while he slept, smelling his skin and hearing those sweet little snuffling snores. him being the person i told everything to, like getting my job. wanting to talk to him about anything and everything, to share with him, laugh with him and hear him sing to me. feeling the contentment of being near him and knowing that it felt right, being there with him, that just one thought of him calmed me down and one smile made me smile back and feel happy, wanting to hold him and comfort him when something bad happened or when he was upset.
well what do ya think?
2006-12-31 03:26:32 · 26 answers · asked by sinead 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Only you can answer that sweetie :)
Sounds to me like you know what you feel, but want it to be something else to make it easier to get over.
Accept what you had, and try and heal now.
xx
2006-12-31 03:30:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The only way to tell if it is really love or lust, is to see how those feelings remain the same, or change once the actual "lust" fades away. Trust me, it will. Love will continue to let you feel emotionally close to him, want to share your stories and experiences, and yes, even still want to lie next to him and just enjoy being close.
The feelings of sexual arousal and physical attraction do fade. These feelings are caused by chemicals in our brain which are triggered by the excitement of something new. When you two get back together for a visit, that excitement will return. If you do get to be together for a long time, what remains is that you still want to be with him, want to do things with him and share your life. These things become more important and interesting than the lust we all feel at the beginnings of our relationships.
If time goes by and you lose interest in him, find him becoming annoying or you are easily irritated by the little things, well...it was just lust.
2006-12-31 03:33:12 · answer #2 · answered by londonmh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you were falling in love. But let me warn you ... those first few months of being in a relationship are all about chemistry building and can be misinterpreted as lust.
For example ... all those things you mentioned, like wanting to tell him anything first, or just laying with him to listen to the sounds he makes ... is what we do while building chemistry between each other.
Unfortunately, the sweet, romantic, rose-colored glasses phase doesn't last forever ... BUT how we go about building the chemistry between us and our partners can last forever if we remember that the "rose-colored" glasses phase is just that ... a phase.
True love stands the test of time ... and is there even when our partner doesn't sound so sweet when he sleeps or his skin doesn't smell so good. True lovers have dreams (both separate and together) and work with each other to reach them. (Both their separate dreams and their joint dreams.)
I am unsure if the reason you are separated is because of distance, family or age. Don't confuse lust with love. Lust is fleeting and can be substituted by any guy you find attractive ... it also does not take a lot of work because you usually are not emotionally attached.
Love is burning ... but it takes a lot of work to keep it alive. Don't let anybody tell you it is easy ... it isn't. True love between two partners who REALLY love each other takes time to grow and lots of work. It can be painful at times ... but nothing that is really worth it ever is easy.
Good luck ... I hope you find him again.
2006-12-31 03:42:47 · answer #3 · answered by JUSTKT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love
2006-12-31 03:28:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sound slike you were pretty smitted. I think that initial lust doesn't last. It's there to keep the human race going, that mad attraction and having to be with someone ... it's in order to get us to mate and have plenty of little humans to keep the race going. Love is a longer and more sustaining emotion, generated by deep friendship and good communication and honesty. Unfortunately many women think men's attentions are love, whereas they are lust, and hence get heartbroken.
I don't have a solution to your question but I hope this made you think a bit.
2006-12-31 03:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awwww....the way you have described your feelings for him it totally melted my heart...lol...i hope i felt the same way too for someone someday....i think you experienced something very special and I'd definitely say it is love...if you were in lust you wouldn't be emotionally attached with him in anyway. you said you could totally be "you" when you were around him, like telling him every single thing that is happening in your life. it shows that you are comfortable, and he makes you feel comfortable when he is around....if all the details you have provided in this question is exactly what you feel in your heart than you are head over hills in love with this guy!!!! so don't let it slip away girl...he is a lucky man too! wish you all the best in this.
2006-12-31 03:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by Nailhead_pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be either....
I really can't answer this cause I'v never been in love but I'v heard that when you love someone ....you know it....
You don't have to ask if you do....you just know it deep down in ur heart.
But thats just what I'v heard.
Best Wishes!!!
2006-12-31 03:31:39 · answer #7 · answered by Country Girl 08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats love for ya doll
2006-12-31 03:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by o0p2k0o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know these feeling too ive just split from my ex and i loved him so much i suggest if you both want to still see eatchother then you will. dont lose him just follow your heart and i wish you all the bestdoesn't it just suck when you feel like this it will get better i can feel it in me bone.call him.
2006-12-31 04:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by helena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like love not lust. Why were you separated?
2006-12-31 03:30:28 · answer #10 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋