I am a 24 year old guy, and I used to be really overweight, but still a nice person. Regardless of being a nice person when I was overweight I still got very little attention from girls. So I decided enough is enough, and I went from 16 stone two 11 stone in a few months after a lot off hard work I now have a nice toned body, and a small six pack. Suddenly I am getting a lot of attention from a lot of girls. So back to my question why are people shallow? Because I am seriously thinking about getting fat again to stay away from all those shallow people. Because I thought what matters most is personality, but clearly it doesn’t matter doest it? Because if it did I would have still got attention when I was overweight wouldn’t I? Because I was still a nice guy when I was overweight. I just don’t understand please help.
2006-12-31 03:08:25 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well done on your weight loss :)
Don't gain weight for any reason other than because you want to. If you are happy as you are, stay as you are.
You will find someone who will love you for you, and not just because of your body.
It can be hard when it seems that so many people are shallow, but preserver, there are non-shallow people out there :)
2006-12-31 03:13:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is the way people work, some are shallow, bit you will find some are not. I was a size 16 before i had kids and didnt get much attention at all. Now im a size 12, but i love it. Just reap in the attention, and leave these girls wanting more. You must be a really nice bloke, you dont need to put your health at risk by putting on weight! As long as you do what you want for yourself and your well being, what other people think doesnt matter. There are nice girls out there, just wait for the one that you feel right with.
2006-12-31 11:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to really say why they are shallow, but the only thing I can tell you is that to some people that doesn't matter at all. Believe it or not most women are attracted to a guy's personality because they make them laugh and have a good time with them. I'm not a size 2 either but surprisingly I get guys with a regular build who are interested in me. They say they like a woman who's thick and not skinny. As for you thinking of putting the weight on again think about it, really think about it. Is feeling the way you felt when you were big really worth it? I don't think so, just give it time and I'm sure you will find someone who is right for you. Also have you taken initiative and talked to anyone? Just be yourself and try to ignore those shallow people. Feel sorry for them because by dismissing someone that's not "ideal" they just may be passing up on "the one". You worked hard to drop the weight and they are not worth you going back to the way you looked before are they? Don't give them that power over you.
2006-12-31 11:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by K-prod , KK, K-lizzle cousins call me all of those 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well done on the weight loss. Initial attraction and interest is always based on looks first, personality second. If you walk into a room the person who attracts you most is the best looking as you cannot see their personality - that's just the way it is. Your personality is not visible at all until people get to know you. Being honest, you probably fancy pretty girls more than you fancy plain ones ... What is important is that, after meeting someone, you and she then become interested in each other's personality. The looks have done their work, getting you two connected, and now it is your personality that will do the 'keeping' and sustain the relationship.
you sound like a lovely fellow. Don't be disappointed or disheartened. There's someone out there who will be very lucky to meet a sensitive guy like you. Good luck
2006-12-31 11:24:20 · answer #4 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks are the first thing most people notice about a person, because they have not had the chance to know if the person is nice or not. (shallow, maybe) I would not gain weight for the reason you specified, being overweight is unhealthy. Just enjoy your new found attention, and surely there will be a nice girl in the bunch that you would like to spend time with. Congratulations on losing the weight.
2006-12-31 11:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by NAN G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I purposefully keep weight on me to keep from unwanted attention. I don't need the ego feed. The chicks that are attracted to you while you are overweight are usually the ones you want to be with.
When I am thin I get my leg humped everywhere I go. When I am not thin the only attention I get is from quality people.
Now that I am married I drop the weight so I can be where I want to be and just kick the shallow people away. My wife's hot little self and big *** diamond scare away the shallows.
2006-12-31 11:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by Xxar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not shallow to want someone that takes care of their appearance and health - it has an important evolutionary reason.
It makes sense to mate with healthy people so that our offspring have the best chance possible in the constant cycle of the survival of the fittest.
Having a nice personality doesn't matter diddley squat. In fact it would be shallow to believe otherwise.
2006-12-31 11:18:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets be realistic here. Humans are visual creatures, and men are moreso than women. We all tend to be drawn to people and things we find visually appealing...we want to know more about those things.
How many "really overweight" women have you dated?
Yeah, I'll buy that you are a nice person...which means that fat or slim, you are still a nice person. I've been fat too (obese) and I didn't get much attention but I understood why. I wasn't appealing to look at...I didn't find me appealing why would anyone else?
I didn't get mad because guys didn't flock to me as a fat gal, but they paid me lots of attention when I lost nearly 100 lbs. That wasn't offensive, it was natural.
Be fit, be healthy, and be selective in the women you date. Having been fat myself I will tell you that I've never been attracted to a very fat man. I've dated guys who carried a few extra pounds, but not a really fat guy and I doubt I ever will...that just isn't appealing to me. If fat guys find that offensive I'm sorry...most of them don't go out looking for fat chicks.
We all have preferences...some like red hair, some like a particular height, some like a round butt, but fat has implications that go beyond visual appeal...I'm quite active and I know that it's tough to be active when you are fat...there are limitations a fat partner would have that I wouldn't find acceptable...
It's not shallow to not be drawn to a heavy person...it's shallow if looks are ALL one considers when choosing whom to date...it's okay to have visual/physical preferences...it's odd not to...
2006-12-31 11:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I have to say that you're right. But don't feel lonely because it happens to ugly girls, too (but most of them don't know how to solve their problem). Fortunately, you found your solution. The thing is that people cares a lot about appearances, specially when meeting people. First, the person has to look good, then you can be interested on meeting him. That's the truth. I'm not saying I am like this (although I used to when I was younger). Kisses.
2006-12-31 11:19:13 · answer #9 · answered by romy_latina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice conclusion. Guys are so shallow too. Is hard to be a woman in this society more than a man. The media makes man think how a woman should look.
2006-12-31 11:12:22 · answer #10 · answered by LIZA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋