ok, i finally found "the one." how should i tell my parents?

Question

This man makes my heart soar. I finally found him after years of me searching for him and him searching for me (we used to work together). I can't stop thinking about him, and when he kissed me and told me he's always loved me, my heart literally skipped a beat. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Problem? He is black and my parents are against interracial dating. I have an idea on how to tell them, but I hate confrontations like this with them...last time I got slapped and told that if I date another black man, my kids would be taken away (keep in mind, they are mixed too). Not to mention this man loves my kids...so how should I tell my parents????

Answer 1

Unless you're endangering your kids, they can't be taken from you. In no state is interracial dating considered abuse (legally speaking). Your parents are really scared for you, scared of your choice because of their prejudice.
Given there's a predisposition for violence (that slap is unexcusable tho' I'd like to slap your dad myself), be prepared to model the behavior you want your kids using: don't tell dad unless there are others around, he can't be trusted. Violence and threats aren't the tools for communication.
I hope you aren't living in your parent's home, so you can pursue your relationship with Mr. Wonderful. If it were me (who is in family counseling and learning to think in a balanced way about boundaries and priorities), I'd date my guy, avoid sharing my joy with parents who won't support my decision and share with friends who care to see me do what I'm interested in doing (not seeking to please parents who aren't acknowledging my adulthood and what comes with it).
Be prepared for your parents to have the worst time of this, and look to your kids and beau for the love and uplifting joy that can be found in life. Forgive your parents and don't let their emotional ways (anger, pleading, belittling, threats) alter what you know to be right. Your firm stand will help them face themselves, and, in time, MAYbe they'll see some light. MAYbe when the ringing echo of their own words begins to subside, some enlightenment may start to creep in.
Don't let moments of negativity (discouragement, doubt) have their way with you; when you feel down, remember it's just a feeling/attitude which will pass, like dust settling from dogs skirmishing in the dirt.
And, hey! CONGRATULATIONS! :)

Answer 2

Nothing can stop love.Love is the most important thing in a couples life. That is a very difficult question. I'm sure you love your parents. They are just looking out for you. But if you REALLY love this man then nothing can stop it(love). Your parents are just going to have to live with it. A Lot of times this type of relationship breaks up families, which is too bad. I'm 34 yrs old and I've never felt love so I really don't know what to tell you. I wish you the best.

Answer 3

You are a grown adult and so when you said you got slaped that one time, my mouth hit the floor. That is crazy and wrong on their part. The thing about growing up and being adults of our own is to realize we can't always please our parents as you well know. But you do have to please your self because in the end your the one living with it, not them. So here is my suggestion, just flat out tell them what you did on this thing about how he loves your kids, you love him, he makes your heart skip a beat and such, and say look, I know you don't agree but this is the life I'm choosing. Let them know you want them to be a part of your all's lives. If they can't accept that, even though it hurts so bad, there is nothing you can do to change them. Just keep your eyes set on your life and all the rest will fall into place with time. Take care, and best wishes.

Answer 4

This ought to be a sparkling generational way of "questioning", with the aid of fact i myself do no longer see that this is all and sundry else's business employer what a discern tells a new child they suspect. How do you get that this is a approach or the different "forcing" something down a new child's throat? of path, i will see it can be a count of issue if a discern replaced into telling a new child to have self assurance in some satanic blood-cult that encourages the youngster to belive that it incredibly is okay to kill human beings in the main grotesque style accessible, however the finished topic of your question is this is a manner or the different incorrect for a Christian discern to tell their toddlers what they, the discern, have self assurance in. is this some new and desperate tactic to make Christian mothers and fathers experience "accountable" for introducing their toddlers (of whom what they say to "their" toddlers is NONE of your employer employer) to their non secular ideals? And once you could coach me conclusively (much less convince me) that Christians believing in and following the bible's tenets are a manner or the different "suppression", "oppression", "hate" given which you don;t like it, and all the rest, i could sometime unquestionably start to take you heavily. till then, even insinuating such is in basic terms a laughable comedian tale. advantageous attempt, nonetheless. Oh, btw- I used Christians as an occasion with the aid of fact this question in its cutting-edge type isn't something yet a drained re-hash of an analogous terminology utilized in previous questions directed fullyyt at Christians. As for muslims or different non secular faiths, they are able to speak for themselves.

Answer 5

Seems odd...if they are an inter racial couple themselves, you would think they would understand. If they are prejiduce against blacks, you may not get anywhere with them...all you can do is tell them and hope that in time they change their feelings I guess. Maybe it's best not to tell them for a while. Good luck!

Answer 6

if you are underage or living with them, you need to respect the wishes of parents (right or wrong). if you are on your own, they have no right to complain about your decision. your kids should never be used as bargaining chips.