My boyfriend and i split up a week ago as he has feelings for someone at work.He says he loves me and is confused.But we cant be together while he has these feelings.He doesnt love her and theyve not even kissed before.He has spoken to his brother about it and told him he still loves me.At the mo he is in Oz for 2 wks so we cant even talk about it.I was his 1st serious relationship.Do you think hes got scared?Hes never done anything like this before and up until a week ago was loving and caring.
2006-12-31 02:45:03 · 15 answers · asked by scarlett0811 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To clarify i asked him if he wanted to talk about it when he got home and he said he was so confused and doesnt know what to do about the feelings. So i said we should end it then. He said that it wasnt supposed to be like this. What kind of an answers that.
2006-12-31 02:51:53 · update #1
Ive not explained v well have i, sorry. He is in Oz watching whats left or the cricket. Been planned for ages.We're both in our mid 20s. But it is his 1st long term relationship.
2006-12-31 02:56:12 · update #2
Okay, Ladies...it is time that we ALL WAKE UP. When men start making up excuses and saying they are interested in someone else it is time to leave the situation.
Dont argue with them. Dont fight to keep him in your life. The best advice I ever heard was, "when someone wants to walk out of you life, let them." It is as plain and simple as that. This person is not for you, if he wants to sniff around in other places, simply let the DOG go!
Ladies, we are just too valuable and we must begin to recognize our value. We must raise our standards. If a man cant love us the way we should be loved, we should not except less.
The fact of the matter is life is too short to be wasting it on someone who obviously does not value you or the relationship.
Girls, focus on yourself and the goals you want to accomplish in life. In the pursuit of your own personal development, you will find friends and even a mate they will suit you better. Dont expect to find the proper mate for yourself when you are at your worst.
Practice being at your best and developing yourself to the fullest and you will find the people that SHOULD be in your life and WILL NOT WASTE YOUR TIME with idiotic excuses and playing with your emotions.
My advice to the girl who asked the question. Leave this guy alone quickly. Cut him off, without tears and with few words. If you must cry (do it in the privacy of your own home)...dont give hime the satisfaction or the power to make you depressed or to put your life on hold any longer. I
Immediately begin busying yourself with projects and focusing on YOU. I promise that you will naturally meet someone who is better for you along this path who wont toy with your emotions (like this guy is). This guy will be ready for a relationship and happy to commit to you and NO ONE ELSE.
Dont give this turd a second thought, he is thinking about another woman and this is UNACCEPTABLE. Believe me, I dont even know this guy (but I know his type),
YOU HAVENT LOST ANYTHING.....you have gained the opportunity to respect yourself, and maintain your self esteem and dignity.
2006-12-31 03:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by Blaq Mamba 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Girl he is testing the waters he is making a point of telling you as a way out of this. He is on his way to another stage in life and your not part of it. Trust me when I say this he is doing you a big favour as now you will have the chance to find someone who really loves you. No one says it should be forever and we all take a chance with love but we also have to take the fact that it aalso ends. It will all come clear when he returns but just stay strong and independent girl remember when he is the right one for you, you sure know about it. There will be no questions or doubts. Take care stay strong and let him go if he comes back he's yours if he doesn't come back he never was. Have a happy life bird x
2006-12-31 02:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by oldshoespoetry 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what age are you? Maybe he is feeling that he is too young to get seriously involved and wants to look around a bit more before making a commitment? Frankly, from years of experience, I know that it is difficult but - if they want to go, you have to let them go. Trying to keep someone who doesn't want to stay NEVER works. If you keep an animal in a cage it will spend its life trying to escape ... if you make the cage warm and comfortable but leave the door open, the animal will go out occasionally but always return home. Strange analogy, I know, but I would not press the issue or seem clingy at all - that will scare him off. Spend time with good friends and wait for him to call. If he does, great - well if he doesn't then you should find someone who has sure and definite feelings for you.
Good luck, I know it's hard,
2006-12-31 02:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First well done to you; You sound very mature and strong minded. Good for you.
There's no easy way to deal with such a situation and I suppose that your boyfriend does love you since he came clean and told exactly what was going on in his mind.
Well, do give him some space, and even offer him a temporary break and wait and see.
I think that way, he won't feel too pressurized, and hopefully will see what he could lose.
Don't harrass him; and let him come back to you in his own time.
You're dealing fantastically well with a tough situation.
Well done and Good luck.xxx
2006-12-31 03:05:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi there i am going to be very frank with you. I don't believe for a minute a person could have such serious feelings having not even kissed another. Sometimes people find it hard to be direct and honest in fear of hurting the other person but.... doesn't do you much good your still in the dark. My advice to you is consider your current situation as 80% finished and i bet my bottom dollar he is in oz with her . wouldn't be far off hear i believe but for your sake hope not good luck
2006-12-31 02:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by Adrian 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The Spears Girls and Hilton Girls... Just looking at their messed up lives is enough of a reason to avoid their advice on anything.
2016-03-29 01:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is feeling guilty about his feelings and obviously thinks a lot about you to tell you.I believe he does love you and is a bit mixed up.I would give him some space,he will be a fool to throw away your relationship because of lust,but he has to see this for himself.Hang in there and both have a bit of breathing space,or confront the person he's talking about and tell her to back off your man.
2006-12-31 02:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by MANC & PROUD 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why has he gone to Oz. Has she gone with him? Maybe he just feels a bit emotional as it is the time of year for high emotions, if he rings you tonight at midnight (Oz time) you know it is you he really wants,, Good luck, and remember 'No man is worth a beautiful woman's tears.'
2006-12-31 02:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't worry to much if he thinks anything of you when he comes back from OZ he will come straight back to you if by any chance he dosent think of it this way there are plenty of other fish in the sea
2006-12-31 02:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being really kind and understanding towards him. If i was you i'd kick his a** for doing this to you. You're obviously a nice person and he's a silly guy for letting what's happened happen. If you can forgive him, tell him to make a choice - either you or her and if he choses her, well you're better off without him. Good luck x
2006-12-31 02:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋