I am a former female gangmember I have two teenage daughters.?

Question

I need advice how to talk to my girls. They think it's cool for their mom to be a gangmember I just do not want them to be like me.

Answer 1

Well, tell them how cool it isn't and why....where did it get you?, Did it in any way improve your life?...why do they even know that about you?....I guess teenagers are nosey and know a whole lot of things don't they???
Take charge and just don't talk to them, be the parent and make sure it doesn't seem cool to them. Tell the about the drive bys and blood, take em to an eemrgency room , show them pictures, tell them whatever you have to to keep em out. Try to turn your negative into a positve for them...
It's sounds like them being like you would not be such a bad thing, a loving and caring mother, just would be bad for them to repeat your mistakes....good luck mom, remember you are the boss....!!!!!

Answer 2

its very hard to tell your children you are not proud of your past as they know you did what you wanted to do at the time and this is unfortunately the same for them,,they hear,,"yes,,well that was me,but you have to do what i say and not what you want" and this is a very tough situational arguement to make.teenagers want to make their mark,they want friends who respect them and this can be for right OR wrong reasons and depending where you now live this may be something you are at loggerheads with for a good long while,trouble usually occurs when your back is turned,not for a minute but for days,,when they feel they have nothing in common with those who you consider good examples,,any time you can spend with them and make it quality time as a mum with 'her girls' may help you,,try yourself to be around those you think are good not just for them but for you also,we learn from example and experience and if you can fill time with activities that reward and not create trouble they may not feel the need to be so 'tough'.teenagers do not come with a hand book,they are young adults,they want independance and sometimes there is little out there for them to do let alone regularly take part in,you may not have any transport,you may not be fortunate enough to be wealthy,and it doesnt matter what anyone says,,these things matter not just to you but to them also,,they want things now,they want the new 'toy',they want what they consider every kid has the right to have, and sometimes a way of life can give them these things.instilling good values in children is easy if you live in a great house with no windows and doors,where the outside world doesnt touch them but this is real life and all you can do is try,,,try to talk to them,try too make them see what life is like and what their choices can do for them,try to show them respect and love when they have been absolute swines,,you are the best person to guide them but that is all you can do,guide them,after that the choices they make will either be good ones or bad ones and if they make mistakes you are there to help pick up the pieces but do be sure they know,,if this lifestyle is what they also choose it comes at a price and if that price is expected to be paid by you this will not happen.choice comes with responsibility and consequence and if they can deal with all that fine,,their lives as they will tell you but if it is their lives,they must be aware THEY pick up the pieces.

Answer 3

The best thing you can possibly do is lead by example. Show respect to others, and to them. Talk to them constantly about how things were for you when you were in a gang, emphasize the downside.

If you set a good example and they understand why...it is hopeful that they will follow your example and change the way they think about being in a gang.

Answer 4

Tell them that being in a gang is a road to nowhere. Encourage them to get a good education and go to college and find a good job. Maybe you could relate some bad experiences you've had while being in a gang.

Answer 5

Tell them what it's really like....not the Hollywood version, but the real life version of a gang members life. You should tell them the real stuff that will scare them and make them understand that it is not a good life to live, that it is deadly and dangerous. Use your life to save your childrens lives.

Answer 6

talk to them,thats the best way you can do. explain to them what are the coool side of being a gangmember and the bad side of it so they can be enlighten.

Answer 7

well you need to sit them down and tell them something like this.... "i have made mistakes in my life and what i am doing it wrong. what i am doing is dangerous and you should never do it. i love u so much and i don't you to make the same mistakes.(if they ask why u are doing it, tell them this--> ) i grew up with bad examples and i thought it was cool. it really is not and it can get you in alot of troble.... like jail,prison, and so on....."

Answer 8

Be honest with them. Tell them you were one of the lucky ones. Most gang members end up going to prison or end up dead.

Answer 9

well you gotta get outa that if you dont want them to do it. u r former ok well, get a husband that isnt in 1 they will learn from that if they arent too old if they r like 14 well you could always get them put in jail for a couple of weeks get the police to tell them send them to "boot camp" etc, HNY

Answer 10

Tell them the truth about all the stuff you saw and the things you did... Don't romantasise it, be brutally honest...