Say there´s a girl called Jessie....Jessie is kind of an odd girl..she has I have so many inhibitions stopping her from being in a relationship....she´s always felt this way, and the biggest reason she feels is that she thinks shes better off being alone...but sometimes...she´s not so sure..and during these times she thinks maybe, just maybe this could work...so when she does try to overcome her inhibitions and open her heart to someone..she finds herself in an entanglement of a whole other bunch of issues.. its like even though the thought of being in a serious relationship with someone sounds great..at the same time she gets really scared and most of the time she´s not even sure how she feels...and even though she´s leanred that love does require comprimise and so is worth even all the internal agony she´s going through...sometimes she doesnt know if she can handle it...
2006-12-30 23:31:37 · 6 answers · asked by Jaded 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
So my question here is, do you think Jessie is just isnt ready to be in a relationship? I mean do you really "know" when you´re ready..and when you´re in love..or is it always this confusing?
2006-12-30 23:31:51 · update #1
Do you think she just sounds like someone with a self-destructive nature? Or do you think that she should listen to her inner voice..as sad as it may be..and just stop openning her heart to others...becuz it just cant be right if she feels so confused and so strongly about her inhibitions..right?
Love cant really be such a inner struggle, right?
2006-12-30 23:32:04 · update #2
Im sorry that its such a long question..but i ..didnt know how to make it any shorter..so i hope you dont mind. :)
2006-12-30 23:32:47 · update #3
“love does not require compromise. you can love whomever you want. marriage requires compromise.”...that´s so true practicalwizard...you make a really good point..i didnt even think of it that way..thank you for your advice. =)
2006-12-31 03:51:12 · update #4
Jessie is not odd. There are people who are introverted and there are people who are extroverted. This is something we are born with and cannot be changed - its just the way we are.
Introvert people tend to think and analyse a lot, they "live in their heads", are loners - but on the other side: they are also the ones with the ideas and dreams, the poets, lovers of the world and all that is beautiful in it. They are sensitive to a fault - e.g. they can sense the moods people are in and harshness and coraseness gives them almost physical pain.
Keeping that in mind - if I were Jessie - I would find some books or take some courses in order to get to know myself better and to be ok with who I am (a book about auras and their colours could be a real eye opener). I would tell myself that I do not need a relationship to make me whole. I would venture on the journey of self-discovery and take it from there ... things are going to work out for me.
2006-12-31 00:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she has a good understanding of what she wants in a relationship (and any limitations she may want to place on it), she shouldn't be confused.
What I'm guessing is (first) that she's really young. I'm guessing it has never occurred to her that she has a right to know what she wants in a relationship and what she doesnt' and the right to define that for herself. If she's young she may want to limit how serious she lets a relationship get because if people who are too young get too serious in a relationship they can often get "all confused".
When it comes to any boys/guys, if it is boy she likes and who likes her then there should be no conflict. If its a boy she likes who doesn't like her she may need to forget about him for now. If there's a boy she doesn't like all that much who likes her she needs to let him know she wants to be just friends.
For the most part, relationships people have when they're very young are not serious relationships (which Jessie may know and which could be the thing that is making her not want to get too involved).
When things are right you just know it. When they're not quite right you tend to know that too.
Jessie ought to just live her life and not be "putting the cart before the horse" by thinking about a relationship more than she appears to be thinking about a specific person.
Love is not usually all that deep if people are too young, and it should never cause "agony". That sounds like the "drama talk" of someone very young.
Are you familiar with The Little Red-Haired Girl that Charlie Brown admired from afar? Jessie should wait until she is somebody's "Little Red-Haired Girl" and until that somebody is someone she also kind of likes. She should think about taking the beginning steps of a relationship and not thinking about the relationship.
I think Jessie sounds too young to be thinking in terms of "love", and she should dial it back to where she's thinking about having someone to dance with at the next school dance. Part of being very young is finding the romance and drama in thinking about relationships and love. Part of being mature enough to be in a relationship is in realizing relationships aren't supposed to involve big drama and agony.
2006-12-31 07:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st.off there is no such thing as love. love is just a 4 letter word put together to describe emotions. its like trying to describe the color blue to a blind person. once u realize this then it is alot easier to deal with. it is also alot easier to put off and make excuses to put off. when u meet some one that appeals to u the best way is be honestly as tactful as possible. and not scare the person. be prepared for alot of refusals. people do not know how to handle honesty. but it is also easier to nothing than to make the effort to put 1st. step forward. this the most important part. always remain in control of the situation. humans are easily led. u can always plan for any changes that have to be made.
2006-12-31 07:55:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think jessie's thinking about it too much. i think jessie may have a bigger issue than "i'm just not READY YET". and i don't think jessie should try to enter into a relationship if halfway into it she's going to freak out and pull out of it, or fake her desire to be in it. that's just not fair to the other person. it also sound to me like jessie is trying to find someone as odd as she is and isn't happy with the average person because the average person cannot relate to her. no, no. love does not require compromise. you can love whomever you want. marriage requires compromise.
2006-12-31 07:47:32 · answer #4 · answered by practicalwizard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. Deal with the issues as they come, this is life; both the blessings and the curses. It's what makes life worth living.
2006-12-31 07:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just relax.It's not always good to think so much,it'll make you crazy!you have to get through a storm to see a rainbow.
2006-12-31 07:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by rcdc_wva. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋