i am very confuse, i got married before 4 year, my husband is not my deamboy, he is not like that which i imagin. we and my parents lives in same city. the problem is i always criticize my husband infront of my parents and i make a wrong image infront of my parents. so, my parent also dislike him and they also criticize them. one day a minor quarrel being between them and he went out. now we live seprate. now he call me to live with them. my parent doesn't like to live with him. my parents loves me alot. they want to me to go abrod. now i like my husband. but i am not somuch impressed with my husband. i have sympathy with them because he is poor and so simple guy. he naver harmed me. i am confused i love him or not. now i want to make a good image infront of my image. but it's to delay. i control myself to stop criticize but till date i am not stop to criticizing. whats happing about me i don't know. pls give me..........
2006-12-30 22:45:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to a marraige counselor so you can disuss your problems in confidence. Sit down and work things out.
2006-12-30 22:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by daisy 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't know how old you are so that has a lot to do with your maturity level. I know marriage is hard. So many people don't marry their dream boy, They get married for the sake of an ideal or because they feel it is the next step in life. People change to, 4 years ago you may not have been the same person. That is not a good excuse for you to use. You made a commitment a serious one. What concerns me is that you are so disrespectful of your husband, tearing him down in front of others. Can you even imagine the pain that must cause? I am a big believer in making the commitments in your life work. Here is the deal with marriage if you do not have children and you feel this way then get out now. Why? Because it is not fair to be with someone you are not committed to loving and respecting..( not fair to you or him) Your feelings of discontentment probably grow as time goes by. What a sad life to be with someone out of pity. The only issue is if you have children then you need to consider their needs first. Love is more then an emotion it is a decision. Once you get married you have made a decision to love that person till death. You have committed yourself before God. That is serious. You will not have that " love/ lust" feeling all the time . I guess you need to decide if you stay with him you must make the decision to be respectful . Just think how you would feel if you were married to you. If your truly not happy let him go before you bring children into this world. I am not bashing you because I know that we make decisions sometimes we make the wrong ones so grow from this experience, learn your lesson and move on. Don't make the same mistake twice
Kourtnie Donihoo
Debt Analyst
The E.D.A. Group
2006-12-31 00:58:59 · answer #2 · answered by Kourtnie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly want to save your marriage, you will need counseling. You can not use your childhood as an excuse to be abusive toward her. You are using your scared, inner child, as a bully toward your wife. She did not hurt you when you were younger. She loved you enough to marry you. Do you love her enough to go to marriage counseling? Best wishes UPDATE: YOU SAID; “Sorry folks, I am not using my childhood as an excuse but well spotted. It's just that all I want is peace, love, care and being together as I want her to be with me.” BUT PRIOR TO THAT YOU SAID: “I feel terribly ashamed of my actions but in my only defence its only because she is so argumentative and naively narrow minded. For some reason it feels she likes hurting me. Only times I've been violent is when she repeats hurting sentences which cuts deep and I end up being violent just to shut her up.” It sounds to me like the inner child is fighting back with violence to the words that hurt. Sorry, but denial is not a response. Why else would you feel that violence was a solution if you did not feel victimized? Why would an adult need to act out physically to verbal words? Why would you not walk away? By the age of majority you should have adopted/learned coping skills that would allow you to deal with any type of verbal abuse. You can deny it all you want, but you have not healed from your childhood traumas. Violence is not a defense; it is a reaction when someone does not have the verbal capability to respond to a situation.
2016-03-13 23:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your question is a garbled mess but Ithink that you are not ready for marriage. You should not have talked badly about your husband to your parents. You can't blame them for how they feel about him, you made them feel that way.
I think that you do not want to be married to this man or married at all. I think you should get divorced and then work on growing up before you do something like that again.
2006-12-31 00:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sara,
Deep inside yourself, you know what is right for you. Listen to that quiet voice and follow what it says.
2006-12-30 22:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by angieblossom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it best for the man for you to let him go
if he love you more than you love him then he will returned
2006-12-30 23:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by kimht 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a noose so u can end all his suffering?
2006-12-30 22:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by jesse james 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋