ok heres my problem, i am a freshman in college and i am living at home but i cannot stand my family. they annoy the hell out of me. i feel when i am home i am being held back from who i really am because i have to put a show on for them. what do i do? i can't move out because of my financial situation or lack there of. how can i just live with this? plz help
2006-12-30 22:36:42 · 15 answers · asked by kyle k 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
"i feel when i am home i am being held back from who i really am because i have to put a show on for them."
Pretty tempting isn't it? I don't know you but I can guess it's pretty confusing watching college peers out there living in the moment. Here's a hug and a hand shake because you are not choosing to live in the moment and have not made the move to put your future at risk. Too many people these days are selling off the concept you haven't lived if you don't ruin your life. Sure some can juggle living risky lifestyles but what your peers won't be able to juggle is explaining it to their children in the future and that's if they didn't manage to destroy the goal they were trying to reach in the first place. Try this: flip the problem around and look at it from a different direction.
"how can i just live with this?"
By not allowing Satan to get your goat. Like I mentioned work on your attitude and know that your parents are not trying to harm you or control you ...they also have a goal and I doubt it's to keep you miserable. My guess is they want this: when you step out you have something to stand on. It probably isn't a good idea to wear out your welcome at the home base or you just might find yourself in a financial situation that excludes reaching your goals at the pace you initially planned to.
Is there a space in the home base you can call your own? Not own but rent? If no income at this time...hey, work is work what can you do that would free up some time for your parents at the home base and take charge of treating it like a job that pays your rent?
2006-12-30 23:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insanity is repeating the same mistakes expecting different results.So,,,don't do the same thing over and over,,whatever it takes!!If nothing changes,then nothing changes.The only person you can change is yourself.Learn to live with them until a better situation develops.Switch channels in your mind when they are driving you crazy.Think!!Think!!Think!!You are in college now,so act like a college student and not whine all the time about your family.Edify them,say I have the greatest family in the world!!Most people do not want to hear about your problems,so don't tell them.If there is something you don't like keep it to yourself,and remember "this too shall pass".Only you can change this situation.If you are not getting enough privileges,at home then join the club!!You want freedom now!!,Well you will need to work hard/harder and get your own place.But I would not suggest this.So just take a deep breath and be glad you got a family to push you to the edge of greatness!!Peace!!
2006-12-30 22:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, living at home during college tends to perpetuate the same social relationships that existed while you were in high school, including relationships with friends and family. This will mean that your parents will tend to continue treating you as though you are still in need of the same high school guidance.
Can you sit down with them and calmly discuss your concerns? Certainly a college student should be determining their own hours, for example. A good compromise however is to let your family know where you are going and with whom and when you expect to return. This is not for them to spy on you or be minding your business, but to reassure them that if something were to go wrong, they would know where to look for you. This shows maturity and should be expected from every member of the family, including your parents.
Living in your family home during college presents some challenges. With patience and understanding on everyone's part it can work. Understand the limitations, communicate your concerns and work toward compromises. Good luck!
2006-12-30 23:10:46 · answer #3 · answered by Magic One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend a lot of time outdoors and not at home and talk to them and tell them how you feel and if thats not possible then just dont be around them much and stay as much as possible at the school, at their library.... Or go to a friends house for a couple of days and tell them unless they change their attitude you are not coming back....
Just Be Yourself Don't Let Others Change You! You Are You And You Don't Need Others To Tell You Who You Are!
I Hate My Parents Too Sometimes and I Wish I could Just Disappear but Thats not Possible Now So I Have To Live With It!
2006-12-30 22:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is perfectly normal, especially at your age when you want to discover yourself and reach your potentials. family members usually want to feel relaxed, stable, regular at home so you may feel that you cant go above things and you feel that a little change will raise eyebrows. in the mean time you can find a group that have the same temporary dilemma, call this your second home, take note that you dont have to relocate and live with them, just stay in touch, wherever you go you will always need to feel a sense of belongingness right? at the same time just keep cool when you're at your real home. you can wait until you can support yourself to give yourself some space, just a space. dont ever plan to move out completely. your real home will always be there for you if you lose your other 'homes'. family will always be family.
2006-12-30 22:57:15 · answer #5 · answered by annam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is only a suggestion.But you could maybe get a parttime job.That might either 1) give you some money towards moving out. OR 2)at least get you out of the house and keep you from going crazy!!!
But please keep in mind your family was nice enough to let you stay there,and you could be driving them nuts too!!!! Good Luck!
2006-12-30 22:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by stressed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...i think using the term 'hate' is a bit too much if the only thing they do is annoy you.
...well until you move out, you have to abide by their rules. In the mean time you can have a talk with your parents, let them know how you feel and work out a solution that is best for all
Good luck!
2006-12-30 22:48:08 · answer #7 · answered by mørbidsшεεŧnεss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
step-1.get a part time job.
step-2.find some friends that are OK to live with
step-3.find a good place to rent for the meantime.
Or just deal with it. and fake it like the rest of us.
Or get some counseling.
Just remember that family is family and they are there for you no matter what!
2006-12-30 23:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by dudedawg20 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If annoy, you mean having to follow rules, remember this, that you are living under your parent's roof, and that's what you are obligated to do. Get over your anger, or it will eat you up.There is nothing more important than family. You may not realize this now, but in time you will.
2006-12-30 22:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by WC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't change your family so change yourself. Don't be puttin on an act...be yourself and you might find out they like the real you. Good luck.
2006-12-30 22:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by monkey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋