What does it mean when you wish you had met someone at a differnt time in your life?

Question

What if you wished you coud have met them at a differnt time in their life? Specifically what are you trying to justify to yourself? Or are you making a healthy decision? (some one asked this question in singles and dating bu tyou never get good answers over there, plus his really made me think about a time when i was rationalising with myself about a girl)

More Specifically, based on this wish I abandonded pursuing the relationship further.

For me personally it was detrimental phse behavior that a lot of young people go through. Honestly it was susbstance abuse, something I just really did not even want to deal with, but it seemed right on many other levels. I am just wondering people say you should comprimise, i have never believed that.

I wonder if I was being too judgemental of her substance abuse? And if that is something I should work on.

was i being a solid person with good boundaries?
Was i being a hardass?

Answer 1

It's a shame to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.
some other some other time,..this particular romance would have worked.

Answer 2

First of all, I really like how you ask and answer your questions. When reading them, it actually sounds exactly like how you would say it...Sorry, had to get that out of the way...

This question you posted, is in play right now in my life. I have been married for 10 years with 2 kids. He inflicted a horrible situation on me about a year ago, and I lost my feelings for him. I unintentionally met another person about 3 months ago, and we made a very deep connection. I'm talking mind, spirit and soul type connection. This person was everything I wished for when I was a little girl. To good to be true. Well, to make a long story short, we both wish that we would have met at a different time in our lives. I'm still married with 2 small kids. This person is single with no kids but is working on themselves and struggling with the past. The timing was all off! But who's to say what is or isn't the right time? Are we really to be the judge of that? Do not all things happen with a purpose for a reason, sometimes unbeknownst to us? See, this is where I think your trying to go with this question here. Now, in your situation, there was substance abuse going on. So your brain was already being altered by outside crap. But you made a decision to basicly protect this girl that you cared about, by not persuing a relationship with her because you were not ready. Not emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically. They were being numbed. I think you reacted out of shere instinct. This girl may have been everything you had hoped and dreamed, but you just were not ready to settle down. You had to go through the drugs & alcohol stage to grow and become who you are today. And this is never to be looked down upon. Taking the bad and learning and growing from it.

All I know is that it really sucks. As they say, hind sight is always 20/20. But you never know what the future holds. I believe in soul mates and when the time is right, it will happen......

I wish you only the best.......

Answer 3

Hard to say. The obvious being that people are different at different points in their life. If you meet them at a different point, you may not have wanted to get to know them. If your question is asking, "Why couldn't I have met her when she was older and smarter?" then why not find someone else who fits your needs. You have no clue what's going to happen to her (she may never change)and even in meeting you, you've changed her life (and she will probably change because of what you have done). I will also add that even though you may wish you had met her as a better person, that would require her to change and as sad as the truth is, sometimes, a person who seems perfect except for a couple flaws may not be worth waiting for. It's your job to decide if you can make the needed compromise or not and you from your ? chose "no". It's your choice and even though you may never be right, you can never be wrong... forgot where I heard that one :)

Answer 4

it means that i guess in one example would be like the guy wishes he had met the girl back when they were in high school rather than first time meeting the girl in college. it's just a way that people wishes to meet they one they want to meet and get to know them longer, cause they know that the later they meet, the less time they'll have to build the relationship.

it's not about healthy decision or not, it's about if it's something that they'd really want. for some people, meeting each other earlier might be a good thing, but for some it may be bad. personally, i DO wish i had met someone at a different time in my life

Answer 5

Meeting another person at an opportune time may be regarded as good for introductions, with both parties more likely to communicate with each other amicably. That is all.

Where the future is concerned with changing circumstances and people, perceived readiness and preparedness can arguably increase the chances that the relation stays together for all time. Time can only tell.

Experience and wisdom teaches that we often over or under rate our abilities in retrospection. The common generalisation of this age old statement becomes a misnomer: Sake of illustration, experiencing death is usually not warranted in order to know that it is undesirable, knowledge and experiences of other persons can often prevent the errors arising from the course of action chosen.

Not all experiences require personal experience to know it to be good or bad. The contrary approach to experiencing everything under the sun will indubitably lead to many more businesses failing.

Sadly and often, good decisions applied to businesses are left in the office with negative emotions the enticing attractive exit door gift.

Close friends and families come in where personal judgment is impaired. In a largely micro-family and singles environment, this potential support network is removed resulting in most of us tripping more often than we would like to. The lessons we take away tend to be channeled or biased towards our disposition and attitude to life.

At journey's end, loosing the less significant battles and wining the ones that really matter remain the hopes and dreams of many.
_____________

There are very few constants in the world.

One may choose never to compromise their values but to be able to bend with the wind; adapting to each situation may require rationalisation, without specifics, the author is the only one able to.

Priorties are also an important part of rationalising self-preservation, but that does not mean loosing sight of the goal. These qualities are referred to in office jargon, perseverance and tenacity; knowing when to cease is complementary to perseverance and tenacity.

With the above never compromising positive values, is where a person is developes a certain maturity, who is true to oneself and to a relationship, regardless the familiarity of the relationship.

Answer 6

A person structures their time differently at different points in their lives. They may now have a full schedule with many obligations and activities whereas before they had more time to devote to relationships. Maybe the person wishes they met you when they had more time to devote to you. Or maybe someone is in a serious relationship and wishes they met you when they were single so you could be together without complications, etc.

Answer 7

In relationships timing is everything. Some day the time will be right and the girl will be right. Good luck.

Answer 8

it means... you dont wanna hurt that person but they arent right for you.