When is a loving marriage not worth saving?

Question

I need serious thought from serious people. Please only answer if you have been married for at least 7 years and truly did love your spouse.

Answer 1

All marriages have glitches! You have just reached one. Read a book called LOVE AND RESPECT written by DR EMERSON EGGERICHS. A loving marriage has no reason to be broken. It needs to be worked on constantly. WHen children are there attention is divided and it often feels like you might not get your share, but trust me it gets better and once the angels have taken off you will have a new season of more closeness than ever before. DOnt quit because of feelings and emotions. THose things lie to you. OVerride them and choose to do what is right and work on the wonderful life you really do have.

THe grass IS NOT greener on the other side it is loaded with manure both ontop and below. Be content with what you have and work on improving things.

Read this book. It made a tremendous difference to our lives and I know it will help you too.

May you have a wonderful future together. DOnt doubt!

Answer 2

Well mm if you were in a loving relationship then saving it would be the hard part..

you bring what was the past into the now,,The now is suffering, being neglected, you wishing and hoping for change.

You don't see each other like you use too..The honey moon is over. Being afraid to speak as you once did asking for that love that you need and want is hard,,,,,

You want to come alive. You want to jump out of the shell that you call life and you run through the house with scissors...

We are kids that have served some really changing time. And as adults we need to do the same. OUR marriages are defined by our lack or understanding what love really is..

Its the simple things that our loved ones do. YOU ~ know the trash out on Wednesdays, laundry, house cleaned, dishes, you know the day to days. Date nights time alone..We are selfish people by nature but the more we learn to give and see it in someone Else's eyes then that love is there and well understood.

That is how you save it!

Answer 3

It's said that advice is cheap and opinions are a dime a dozen. I don't see that in this case; you've gotten both good advice and opinion in the mix above. But I'll add my dime's worth here, anyway.

Married for 17 years, but to someone who only wanted me as and considers me her "best friend." I'm afraid I haven't been that for a long time. In an intellectual sense, I do love my wife, but it is not the kind of warm and emotional bond that one thinks of for marriage. It is rather a convenience for us both; she has a man in her life, I have a wife. But it has become more remote each passing year. I've always been involved with work at home, she likes her TV. Any physical attraction she had for me must have evaporated with the I do's; yet most of this time I've done what I could to give her pleasure. She seems not to have the slightest desire to do so for me. I have great affection for this woman with whom I've shared even this abridged existence with, but I find that every year, I grow more tempted to say adieu. It's not easy to leave someone you love, nor even someone you don't love, but it may be necessary sometimes when love is just not enough anymore.

Moralists will say that this is taboo, yet mores say that it is what is done all the time, right or wrong. People realize that to live in an unhappy way is not such a moral thing to do, after all. It hurts, but it can hurt more in the end over time. What is right is not what is right for you or her, but what may be right for your life, your future, and your marriage both now and later.

Answer 4

In the first place, if it is a loving marriage, why would you even think of leaving?! You have more then most. I've been married twice, the first time for 19 yrs., and this one is going on 20 yrs. The first one I left, because he was abusive, and I didn't leave soon enough. The second time, I love this man very much, and we have had some serious problems in our marriage, and even now, but we do have a loving relationship, and know we don't want anyone else.
My best advice, "count the cost."
The bible tells us the only reason for divorce is adultery, and then it gives leeway for a separation, but only if there is extreme abuse involved, and or he isn't taking care of you financially, or spiritually. Even a separation isn't going to give you the right to find someone else, according to the Bible.
So if there is no abuse involved, no adultery involved, why would you want to leave? you can email me if you wish, [e-mail]

Answer 5

Do you need to save a loving marriage? That is a present continuous tense. When it is so loving, where is question of trouble and saving it? Let me take it as if you meant a love marriage which is now in trouble and needs to decide whether is worth saving or not. If you try to remember the qualities and the basics of this person whom you fell in love first and start living those lovely moments again, you can start pin pointing why you started having trouble in the first place.

Then, once you pin point the trouble, sit down and talk to the person. Is it you or your spouse? Who is the cause of the problem?

A marriage is always worth saving when no thrid party or violence or children are involved.

Children, though they are adorable, loving and worth living for, are the most complicated issues in a marriage. They are the most suffered and effected. If they carry the burnt, you can imagine next two to three generations to be troubled, spoiled and sad.

Violence and third party issues to be discussed and negotiated before coming to a full stop.

Answer 6

A marriage is not worth saving, when you had tried all options to make it work.
I been married for almost 20 years and half of them I been so unhappy. I had tried everything to make it work but it needs 2 to tango!
I got fed up of feeling lonely, neglected, been just a trophy wife and spending many years already without a single touch from my husband.
Although I did tried my best for the sake of my kids, because I just don't give up easily but we are all human and there is a point where we reach the limit, so when you reach that limit after you had tried to save your marriage is when it is NOT MORE WORTH TO SAVE IT.
That means you had tried and you can move on without guilt.
Take care.

Answer 7

I've been married 25 years and I can't think of any marriage that's not "worth" saving.

If you want to add some detail I'll check back.

I think that it might be time to end a marriage when there is no feeling left. When the crying is over. When nothing hurts anymore. When you just don't care. And certainly, and always before someone gets hurt.

Answer 8

<>Forgive me for saying this, but you should not be asking that question of us. Ask it of yourself, along with these questions: Is it want I want? Have you BOTH tried your best to save it? What else could you do? How will ending it affect your children (if any)? Where will I (or my spouse) go? Is it truly worth ending? Please don't let others dictate whether you should try to save your marriage. They don't know whot your life has been like, the ups and downs. Remember, you will both be giving up a lot, so take the time to think it through.

Answer 9

13 years. When I got married, I lost my identify of being a man by becoming a husband. It got really serious as the years went by and finally I realized that I needed to leave (for my sanity) to re-discover that identify that I craved so badly. It took time, but I was relatively successful. I divorced my wife, but befriended her 12 years later.

Answer 10

I truely loved my spouse and I was married 26 years.
At the end of the marriage I realized he lied about everything.
He was mean and demeaning.

I will hurt, but if it needs to be ended, it needs to be ended