is it my fault that I was mistreated as a very small kid?

Question

my sister tells me that it was my fault that I was called names & bullied as a child. She says that my classmates insulted and made fun of me because they saw something bad about me, the way I acted or speaked.
I was very shy then and rarely talked, is this the reason why the mean kids mistreated me????
something wrong with them or something wrong with me. I believe they did what they did because they didnt like how I look and were judgemental, but my sister who thinks she knows everything, says that they saw the bad characteristics that she sees in me. By the way my sister is over-critical of me and is the greatest source of negative ideas and the one who drains me of confidence & hope(but im coping)
what do u people think of this? is she right? what can I do about it?
thanks.

Answer 1

Wow get your sister out of your life. She sounds like a person who will always keep you down. It is not your fault, kids are mean.

Answer 2

You know the answer. You did nothing wrong. You were a child in her own skin where you felt comfortable ( being shy). Sorry but as an older sister your sister is wrong. She should have been protecting u instead of allowing them to mistreat you. Many people who are famous now were shy when the were young.Stop just coping and stand up to her and let her know there is another new little sister in town. You have your own confidence and are happy where u are at. follow your own path and let her see how life is lived through you.

Answer 3

She is completely wrong. And I have no idea why people say mean things to people. I sometimes think it is to make others laugh... maybe their life was really boring and finding something to pick on or name can be funny. Everyone has bad and good things about them and if we all said the bad things we thought about people then it would make everyone very unhappy. Some people just don't understand it. They are really stupid.

I hope you didn't get hurt when you were younger and I'm glad that you're more confident now. You can't do anything about what happened in the past. But sisters are always like this to one another. They just make themself feel better by making the other one feel small about themself. Just ignore her when she says these things because it's definitely not true.

Answer 4

No she is not right. She is half the reason you feel this way. Children can be cruel and if a child is bullied it is usually because they are weak physically. I would stay away from this sister as much as possible as she is toxic to you. You were a shy and quiet child and mistreated because the teachers and parents didnt put a stop to it not because the kids saw something "bad" in you.

Answer 5

LOL!! Wow. My own life on screen. Darlin', if I could send you a video of my own schoolyears, I would.

I, too, was the "weird kid". I wasn't shy, but I was content to play by myself (how weird is THAT??) and I actually didn't care what they thought about me. I wasn't real big on fashion, I wore what I liked and did what I wanted. As a result, I was picked on, bullied, rumored about and went through the hell that the "weird kids" go through.

Let me tell you something else. There's one in EVERY school and in EVERY class. There is something the kids hone in on; some trait or some look that makes them circle like vultures over a half-dead carcass. As the bullied ones, we don't understand what's happening because adults around us believe, for some strange reason, that this is a normal part of growing up and don't bother to explain what's going on.

Here's what's happpening; humans are social creatures and need to feel part of a group. As such, they also feel their position in that group is precarious. Therefore, there always needs to be an outsider or a scapegoat. A "weird kid": It doesn't even change into adulthood. Go into any office and I guarantee there is one person that is gossiped about (this usually happens more in secretarial pools).

Is this your fault? HECK NO!!! Is it your fault that you allow your sister to tell you that it is? YES!!! You didn't walk up to these kids and say "please pick on me because I'm bad." However, by allowing your sister to say these things to you, you are giving her permission to continue this abuse. That is what it is. You need to stop it now.

I have been there, too. Here's what you say; "I realize you have your opinion and I respect it. However, I no longer want to hear it. Therefore, you no longer have the right to voice negative opinions about me in my presence. This is non-negotiable. If this continues, we will no longer talk."

Good luck to you. You are a good person.

(P.S. Therapy is a wonderful salve for the soul)

Answer 6

Your sister sounds like my sister! Dont worry about her she's jealous of you. In about a few years, she'll be the one with a bad relationship and children, while you will be living a successful life. Trust me, in the near future she will be the one coming to you to apologize about the way she treated you. Bullys are jealous of you too. I was too that way. I am young and successful and my past bullys are all in prison. Cheer up. Thats no way to have low self-esteem. You are a rare diamond. You should be treated as such. Good Luck.

Answer 7

NO WAY IS it your fault! Tell your sister to stick it! You're not abnormal or wierd for being shy, many people are shy and perfectly fine. If kids make fun of you punch one. Once you punch one, they'll all go away....or not even punch them just tell them to shut up! If this was when you were younger and is now overthen stand up to your sister its not ok for her to tell you those things she doesn't knwo everythign or apparently you either!

You're a lovely person who deserves to be treated like one! Hold your head up, you're loved!

Answer 8

I think your sister is just jealous and lacks self esteem in herself. As for you..it's not your fault that you were treated that way but if you don't stand up for urself then it gives the other kids the idea that that is you...someone who likes that kind of treatment. Be strong and always be confident in who you are! =)

Answer 9

No it is not your fault and shame on your sister for bringing your self esteem down!

Keep your chin up and move on with life...

People in general are very rude especially kids in school. I don't know why they are the way they are but it really isn't necessary! It's a vicious cycle.
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Answer 10

No it wasn't your fault. But if i were you,I would try to find a way to get over it. I was a picked on kid as well and i just learned how to deal with it. I am not over confident now,but condfident. And if somebody does not like me the way i am...too bad..it is their problem!!! Good Luck..