Don't get me wrong, I love my kids (ages 9 and 4).
But I absolutely hate motherhood! I feel like a psycho for feeling this way, but gosh, there is so much I can't do anymore. I am just not into Barbie, Playstation, board games, cartoons. I would rather be out on the motorcycle with my hubby, shopping, riding my bicycle, dancing the night away, etc.
I am not a bad mother, my 4 yr old is smartest in her class. They are both well behaved (mostly!) healthy, and loved. I wrestle with them, read to them, play with them do all the things a mother should do, and I DO love them, but something is missing....I just don't feel the "mother instinct" that would make me jump in front of a train to save them.
Could it be that I suffered post partum depression with both of them and somehow "missed" something? Please don't tell me to get counseling, been there, done that. I've taken a parenting class read several books, but cant find anything except how great and wonderful its supposed to be.
2006-12-30 16:54:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Stay there & wait for the happy people.
2006-12-30 17:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by Madeline J 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
At first I was thinking that maybe you just don't get enough "adult" time. But as I read and saw that you had post partum depression, I wonder if the depression had an impact on your attachment building with your children.
The bottom line is that no one on yahoo answers can tell you what is going on in your own head. This sort of feeling is not normal and you obviously are concerned about it. Why don't you try discussing it with a professional therapist and get to the root of it? It could prevent problems in the future between you and your family.
You say you've had counseling, and let me tell you that not all therapists and counselors are the same. Saying you've been to a counselor is like saying you've driven one car. They are similar in they have the same goal but how they all work can be vastly different. Some are much more effective than others as well. I've had plenty and many of them totally sucked. Now I have a great one who's really helped me have more insight.
You should try to find one who has some expertise in this sort of thing. Your insurance company can help you find someone. Good luck and please don't let this problem linger by sweeping it under the rug.
2006-12-31 01:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by prettyinpunkk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could it be that you are like most of us mothers and you are just genuinely stressed? I'm a stay at home mom to 3 boys ages 10, 8, and 3. So believe me I know how stressful it gets, especially doing it a lot on my own (my husband is military). I often feel guilt for not being interested in their interests, which of course is boy stuff. I though would jump in front of moving train in a second to save them. And I bet that if God forbid something like that were to happen, you would too without even thinking about it. It's very possible that you could be suffering from kind of depression, whether it's a kind of post partum type, I'm certainly not qualified to say yes or no. Since you don't want to talk to a counsler, talk to your regular MD, see if maybe you have the signs of depression. Maybe something could be prescribed for you, if needed. As I said about not being interested in their interests.....My oldest son was constantly asking me to play this certain game with him, and it's one that's very popular with boys, and I for one just completely didn't get the point of it and didn't want to. I saw that I was really hurting his feelings, so I sat him down and explained to him that just because I didn't like the game didn't mean that I didn't love him or that it wasn't I didn't want to spend time with him, that people just have different interests. So we went through a list of things that I like to do, and that he liked, or might like. Turns out he wanted to learn how to cook, and that's one thing that I love to do. So we've found something that interests us both and it gives us time together that's just ours. Maybe you could give that a try, find some common ground on doing this that you will enjoy as well. I wish the best for you, and please consider talking to your doctor, it could help.
2006-12-31 01:15:27 · answer #3 · answered by jakimmi72 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you love your kids, you just don't want to be some stay at home mom that shuts herself off just because you have kids. You don't have to stop being a woman just because you're a mom. It's okay to not harbor delusions of how wonderful children are. Parenting is hard, no one said you had to love it, just don't take it out on the kids.
2006-12-31 01:05:04 · answer #4 · answered by CrowsFeet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that way a lot and I think it is b/c I am a single mom. I go to school and work. I only have one, he is six. Sometimes I do not want to have any more b/c they are such a big responsibility. Your constantly doing something, I dont thing your a bad person for feeling that way, its just so damn exhausting. Just make sure you take time for yourself and relax.
2006-12-31 01:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by *sexy mocha* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Post partum depression" is a myth, and there is not such a "disease." Every time that it's brought up, there's some sort of excuse making going on.
You probably resent making sacrifices and feel you are missing out on things. It sounds like you've done okay, but it could be a bit of selfishness and probably is.
2006-12-31 00:56:57 · answer #6 · answered by Joseph C 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋
don't worry,they grow up so fast they'll be moved out before you know it.if it wasn't for my two daughters i'd be in jail or dead! so im thankfull for my kids.
2006-12-31 01:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by I Bleed Black & Gold 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋