Why is it that wives are naturally annoying to men, and other women become angels to them?

Question

No matter what I do, my husband is always annoyed by me. Even when I try to make him happy. Yet, he lights up when a girl comes on tv or when he is on the phone with his sister or mother. Why??

Answer 1

These women are not with him every day--they are never annoyed by him and so he can be more objective with them.
Just stay away from him for awhile---don't leave the house or do anything overt---don't try to please him.
I know how you feel---I don't have conversations with my husband and I am always irritating him. I just try to stay out of his way and it works out alright---I love him a bunch and it works out okay.

Answer 2

I'm an old lady, seen it all, heard everything dear!
Your husband doesn't love you, Not in the sense that love should be portrayed.
When a man 'really' loves a woman he certainly doesn't find her annoying all the time.
Sure there will be the occasions when a husband and wife have a difference of oppinion, but still, when 'true' love is in the relationship they will always work things out.
From the little that you tell us here, I see a very selfish man
who enjoys making you miserable.
And the reason he treats his sister and mother so nicely is,
they probably would 'never' let him treat them the way he does you. Which is a sure signe of a coward'!
He also probably pretends to be a real 'nice guy' around other people (putting on a front) so to speak.
Well this is very charactoristic of a 'control freak'
I'd confront him once and for all, then get away from him if you ever want to be happy', cause it won't happen with him!!

Answer 3

Because he doesn't have to live with them. It's that simple.

When you are in a long term commitment, especially a marriage, and you have to see your partner every day, it can be hard to cope with. Male or female, it doesn't really matter, but suddenly other people seem more interesting than the one you are with. Why? Because the "other" person doesn't appear to have the same flaws as the one you are with. Reality isn't as pretty as a fantasy model, or a woman they only have casual contact with, because they don't see the imperfections of the other woman/women.

Have a long talk with him about WHAT is supposedly so annoying, and what you can do to make things better. Often times what makes your husband annoyed are probably things that you can't fix, and he can't see that. You have to listen with an open mind, and a closed mouth. When he's done with his rantings, try to get him to see your side of things, and explain what your life is like trying to keep him happy. It's not easy trying to be a wife, woman, and hold down your job. It's even worse when you have children to take care of on top of all that.

When you two are done your talk, see what compromises can be made to make him happier, and make things easier on you to keep him that way. Like maybe he can help with some household chores leaving you with more time to cook meals he wants, or exercise for that body ideal he desires. Or maybe he can tell you when he gets annoyed, so you at least know what you did to get on his nerves. Communication and compromise are the two most important things in a good marriage, in any relationship for that matter. You have to have plenty of both if you are going to be happy together for the long term.

If you can't do it on your own at home, then it's time to seek outside help in counseling.

Answer 4

There are problems he shares with you. Believe it or not, he makes himself feel badly when he acts that way towards you, but when he feels badly, he just does it more trying to make you feel the same way and on an even par with him.
It's a bad cycle and one that is extremely difficult to break on his own. He doesn't even have to have a reason.
As for others, he's just trying to put his best foot forward, and for some reason, he doesn't feel as if he has to do that at home anymore.
I don't know how long you've been married, but allowing this to continue will not lead to everlasting happiness. You two have some things to work through. I hope you are able to find an opportunity to get some help. It's not going to be long before you start getting real resentful.
I wish you well.

Answer 5

Because with a wife, he gets the responsibilities, the morning breath, all the things that make her a person. With these other women he can experience the good and is either not around or can leave when the other things come up. It's like playing with someone else's baby. You can give him/her back when there is a dirty diaper. Not saying this is right, and not all men are like this.

Answer 6

Because it's easier to like the one you aren't living with, so many women who have an affair with married men figure this one out when they get married to him. And it's easy to be pleasant with someone on the phone or imagine things about a stranger you see on tv, he can make them what he wants to in his mind. Obviously he can't make you what he wants, or there is something else bugging him he can't speak, you may need counselling or something if this gets worse.

Answer 7

I get annoyed with my wife sometimes. I annoy her too; but that's because we don't always have the same priorities. I have pet peeves that she doesn't share, and she has pet peeves that I don't share. The thing is, you just have to accept that these things don't change. Your best friend is your spouse, and there are benefits to having eachother. You're a team.

The best thing to do is try to figure out how to keep from annoying eachother. Then do what it takes - at least sometimes ;-)

Answer 8

Your question aches my heart. I have seen many marriages go this route. From family members to friends. It's not good as you know. But when it came around and the attitude bit me I prayed to God for a solution. It wasn't easy but he allowed me to see my wife for who she is. The beautiful little girl that I married 30 years ago. Working together and with the help of God we were able to fall in love all over again. When I see her I get those butterflies all over again.
The only answer I can give to your question is he has let his guard down and is allowing his base nature slip into control. Pray earnestly for him that God will open his eyes to the treasure he has in you.

Answer 9

Because when you realize that your seeing this person everyday all day sometimes you tend to get on each others nerves and even though you feel as if it's just him it's the other way around sometimes too. Sometimes you just need to get away from each other for a while.

Answer 10

Because you've probably been nagging and complaining at him so much, everything you say sounds like a nag or a complaint.

The other women light him up because he has no baggage with them.